Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 97938 times)

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Clockwork Banana

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #15 on: September 01, 2013, 01:00:11 PM »
[quote author=CrazyDaffodilLady link=topic=129815.msg3006150#msg3006150 date=1378015003]
This is intended to be a humorous look at the ridiculous things we’ve been criticized for by parents (and others) who can’t seem to find anything good to say about us. 

My dad is 86 and in a nursing home.  Writing letters is his favorite pastime, and I supply him with stationery supplies, including $400-500 worth of stamps every year.  I send a mix of newly released, pretty, and interesting stamps, although I have to censor the selection because of his conservative religious beliefs.


Yowsa!  That is a lot of stamps.  So I don't know the cost of a US domestic stamp, but assuming it is around 50 cents, $400 - 500 worth of stamps annually means your dad is writing and mailing between two and three letters a day?  Who on earth does he send all this mail to, other than you?

As far as the topic at hand, when I was a child/pre-teen, I was typically criticized for my choice of friends. They were never good enough (for who, I don't know, because I was a "waste of space" anyway). It usually had to do with their parents occupations or rank, since I was an army brat.  If I hung out with the child of a lower-ranking family, I was wasting my time, yaddahh.

I stopped talking about friends as much as possible and NEVER had them over.  Even at age 10, I realized the unwarranted snobbery was completely ludicrous.




Specky

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #16 on: September 01, 2013, 01:15:33 PM »
Growing up, my Mother would start telling me, no matter what it was (reading a book, a craft or project, anything), "Why are you doing that?  You'll never finish.  I don't know why you even start."  She would say this repeatedly every time I started something or she saw me working on whatever it was.  When I didn't do what she expected and stop/put it down, she would take it away, break it, throw it away, return the book ahead of time, and say, "See?  I told you you would never finish it.  I don't know why you start."

BarensMom

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #17 on: September 01, 2013, 01:19:16 PM »
Growing up, my Mother would start telling me, no matter what it was (reading a book, a craft or project, anything), "Why are you doing that?  You'll never finish.  I don't know why you even start."  She would say this repeatedly every time I started something or she saw me working on whatever it was.  When I didn't do what she expected and stop/put it down, she would take it away, break it, throw it away, return the book ahead of time, and say, "See?  I told you you would never finish it.  I don't know why you start."

So, what did you do - sneak back to the library and finish the book there, or do all your projects at school or a friends house?

nayberry

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #18 on: September 01, 2013, 01:22:48 PM »
Growing up, my Mother would start telling me, no matter what it was (reading a book, a craft or project, anything), "Why are you doing that?  You'll never finish.  I don't know why you even start."  She would say this repeatedly every time I started something or she saw me working on whatever it was.  When I didn't do what she expected and stop/put it down, she would take it away, break it, throw it away, return the book ahead of time, and say, "See?  I told you you would never finish it.  I don't know why you start."

So, what did you do - sneak back to the library and finish the book there, or do all your projects at school or a friends house?


i'm guessing she wanted all your attention on her?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #19 on: September 01, 2013, 01:35:08 PM »
My mother used to criticize my friends as well. The ones she liked were the girls who were conventionally pretty and thin.  Even better if they were from a good (upper middle class) families.  The girls who were a little different and not conventionally pretty or thin or just behaved a bit oddly were often criticized.

I remember one friend who was tall and stocky got criticized (never to her face) for not dressing more femininely but when she did for a dance, my mother said rather nastily, "She looks like a boy in drag."  >:(

Also my mother just couldn't understand why I wouldn't be more like her.  She loves to cook and has quite the green thumb. She'd gladly spend hours in the kitchen preparing a meal.  Me? Well I love a pretty flower and nice gardens but am not real good at keeping them up.  And staying in the kitchen for hours cooking sounds like torture to me. I'd rather throw something together within an hour and go do something else.   Also she's an extrovert, I'm an introvert.  She could never understand how I could be happy spending time alone and would insist I make more friends when what I really wanted to do was sit alone and read.

Nothing abusive just a matter of really not getting each other.



Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #20 on: September 01, 2013, 01:40:23 PM »
Do your hair!

Stop coloring your hair!

You're too old to have long hair!

(Stuff it, Ma.). I didn't inherit her hair.

cicero

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #21 on: September 01, 2013, 01:42:52 PM »
My mother always ask why I "chose "to be short.  And why of all the things I could have learned from my dad, why "learned" to have premature gray hair and diabetes.  It's funny because she's being clueless.  Otherwise, I would be spitting mad.
yeah, like my father wonders why we (his children) *chose* to inherit our mother's teeth (which were bad) and not his (which are good). because when we were asked which teeth we want, we said "the bad ones! the bad ones!"


other than that, my father doesn't understand why i hate eating out, or why i don't want to take a three hour lunch with him every day.  ::)

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faithlessone

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #22 on: September 01, 2013, 02:11:19 PM »
Not my parents, but my grandmother. Almost no matter what I wear, she finds criticism with something.

If I wear trousers/jeans, then I'm being too masculine. If I wear a long skirt, I'm a hippie. If I wear a short skirt or a top with a low neckline, I'm "giving it away". If I wear a simple t-shirt, I'm not trying hard enough.  If my clothes are loose, I look like I'm wearing a "sack". If they're fitted, they're too tight. If my shoes are flats, I'm "trying to look short" (I'm 5'4.) If I wear heels, "you'll break your ankles and ruin your feet, you know!"

I've given up caring though! I wear whatever I like, and if she doesn't like it, oh well.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #23 on: September 01, 2013, 02:52:53 PM »
My grandmother as well, and it was always my weight. Growing up, I swam competitively. I was never, and never will have, the body of a supermodel. I'm just not built that way. so when I graduated from college, and started gaining weight, she offered me a sum of $$, pretty decent, if I'd get down to x weight, a very specific number. Never mind if i were one or 5 lbs past that, and still looking good; no, I had to weigh that since that was the heaviest she had EVER been, and as were were the same height, but nto the same build, she felt that was the ONLY acceptable number for me.

I pretty much ignored subject when around her. I also had to fudge on clothing size; she was very generous and would sometimes buy me clothes for work, if she liked something, and I did too. But i could never tell her what size it was, say a 14 rather than a 10 or 12, as that wouldn't do at all, due to her ideas about weight etc.

nuit93

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #24 on: September 01, 2013, 03:18:02 PM »
Mother:
-my weight (less so to my face nowadays)
-my skin
-the fact that I still haven't convinced my boyfriend to marry me (as if I wanted to and he was the one holding out?)
-the fact that we still rent instead of buying a home (unlike her and my sister, I didn't marry a well-off guy and what's more, we're still dealing with old medical bills that wiped out our savings).
-my lack of a social life in middle/high school...even though she sharply criticized kids who did anything other than study and do chores.  Hanging out at the mall was "the biggest waste of time ever and I'd better not find out about you doing it".
-the fact that I would come home after classes instead of staying and socializing when I got to community college...followed later by "you're always hanging out after school instead of coming home!"
-my religion (because she couldn't understand it and 'it involved too much reading and studying...why not choose something simple?')
-the fact that I decided to be more active in my religious choices instead of being a twice-a-year celebrant ("that won't get you anywhere in life!  You should get a second job instead!")

This was before I moved out, after that it was down to basic pleasantries since I'd had enough and was more than happy to stop talking to her altogether if she didn't remember the basic rule of "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all".

Bio-dad:
-expresses disbelief that we're related every time I decide not to drink (he's an alcoholic to the point of advanced cirrhosis).


gramma dishes

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #25 on: September 01, 2013, 03:20:46 PM »
...    I also had to fudge on clothing size; she was very generous and would sometimes buy me clothes for work, if she liked something, and I did too. But i could never tell her what size it was, say a 14 rather than a 10 or 12, as that wouldn't do at all, due to her ideas about weight etc.

Actually, you probably really weren't fudging on size.  A long time ago, if you wore a size 10, you wore a size 10.  It didn't matter what store you bought it at, it was a size 10. 

About 15 years ago I began noticing a very obvious and distinct difference in sizes (as labeled).  Moderately priced clothes might be a size 10.  But in extremely inexpensive clothes a size 10 might be tight, so one would need a 12.  But if you went the other direction and bought anything from Le Expensive Exclusive Boutique, you might find that a size 6 fits exactly like your size 10s. 

So all you could do was guess "about what size", right?   ;D

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #26 on: September 01, 2013, 03:21:44 PM »
Clockwork Banana, You asked about my dad's stamp habit.  He writes to a long list of relatives, former colleagues, and ex-students. He likes to make copies of newspaper and magazine articles and send them to everyone on his mailing list; often he puts two stamps on the envelopes. 

I supply him with a list of about 50 items. Almost every single one of them has to meet some weird specification that makes them nearly impossible to find -- which makes it more likely there will be something for him to complain about.  I ship him a box of supplies every three months.  He immediately complains that he has more of these items than he could use in a lifetime (his words).  About two months later he starts complaining that he's running low on things -- knowing full well that more are on their way soon.

I said that his number one pastime is writing letters. Number two is finding fault with me.  You wouldn't believe how many problems he can find just with the stamps.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Bellantara

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #27 on: September 01, 2013, 03:25:06 PM »
Where do I start? Mother disdained my love of books, and of fantasy, and said I "Needed to grow up". Stepmother, on finding in HS that I was writing stories with a male protagonist, asked if I was unhappy as a woman.

deadbody

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #28 on: September 01, 2013, 03:36:46 PM »
I have 2 that have shaped my life for a while.

I was not allowed to have a study hall as a kid in middle school or high school.  I had to take another class instead.  So at one point I was taking 300 level college German, first year french, and second year spanish.  I brought home a report card with 7 A's and 1 B (including the college courses I was actually taking at a university).  I was told that with grades like that I might as well give up because I was "Going to be flipping burgers for the rest of your bleeping life"  Yeah people wonder why I don't have fond memories of school, and the thought of going back makes me feel angry.

I started playing the cello as a 5 year old, because my parents wanted me to play an instrument and I was given the choice of the cello, Violin, or viola.  I picked cello.  For the next 12 years (until they decided I had to drive myself to lessons and I told them I would not go, and followed through on it by just not appearing until the teacher dropped me) any time I requested to stop playing cello (about once a week as I hated it) I was told "You picked it and you have to stick with it at least until you are 18."  When I donated that cello to my sons school I was as happy as I have been in a long time.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #29 on: September 01, 2013, 03:40:16 PM »
My sister criticizes... well everything. The most absurd thing she ever berated me for was just insane. (Que graphic that indicates long ago memory.)

I was about 14 so she was 18 and my mum worked nights. My dad was taking my mum to work and I went with them (because I would avoid being alone with sis at all costs) on the way out the door sis asks for a Macdonald.

My dad was non committal but on the way back from dropping mum off, we are coming up to the Drive through and I remind dad sis wants Macdonald's.

I am in the back and reading and other than telling dad I don't want anything, I don't pay any attention to what he orders for sis.

Now sis HATES! mayonnaise and when dad ordered he did not ask them to hold the mayo.

we get back sister starts eating and sees mayo.

Guess who was ranted at for 4 hours  about how they left the mayo deliberately to spite her?

That would be me. my dad told her repeatedly that he ordered and I had nothing to do with it but some how I was a useless spit-full waist of space because her burger had Mayo.

I say 4 hours but it would have been longer. I finally went to bed to get away from her ranting. She moaned for 3 days.
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer