My father, on finding out I was pregnant (after 3 years of marriage) - "I'm not sure I want to be a grandfather but I guess it's ok."
My first stepmother - I was lazy because I liked to read, no man would ever marry me because I was too lazy to keep the house clean (if she saw my house now, she would turn in her grave - and our 40th anniversary is in 2 weeks). Also, during the miniskirt era (when you couldn't get anything BUT - my 4'11" stepsister was in heaven), she complained that she couldn't find any dresses for me that weren't up to the crack of my behind. At which point I finally talked back and said, "Mama, I can't help it if I'm tall." That was the last time she criticized me for anything - maybe she was just waiting for me to stand up for myself. And I still have the dress that caused the complaint.
edited to remove naughty word. Sorry, folks.