Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 91028 times)

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spookycatlady

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #120 on: September 04, 2013, 12:46:08 PM »
Whenever I was in a period of unemployment, my Dad encouraged me to get a job flipping burgers (his words).  Mom would encourage me to get placed in a temp agency.

Neither of those suggestions are wrong-minded, but just showed a lack of understanding about who I was at the time and my personal situation:

The worst year of my life was working in a kitchen and it was the only job I've ever quit. 

And the temp agency?  I was at the time deeply troubled by an anxiety disorder triggered by new situations, new people, lack of routine and lack of stability.  I couldn't imagine a more inappropriate way to find a job.  I'm so grateful for therapy...

Incidentally, I got a job in a cubicle farm shortly after... lots of routine & stability.

Cami

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #121 on: September 04, 2013, 01:00:32 PM »
More petty criticism from Stamp Dad (O.P.):

Recently I sent Dad a box of books.  Due to complaints in the past about opening packages, I devised a system that I thought would make unwrapping fairly easy.  Dad received instructions a couple of days before the package arrived.

Today I got an angry letter about the packaging.  How long exactly, he wanted to know, did it take me to tape the package up like that?  He struggled for 15 minutes to get the top layer off!  He had to ask an aide for help!  The instructions I sent were completely ignored.

Also, he was unhappy with the first book he read.  It was a lighthearted look at a piece of local history.  Dad was indignant that the consumption of alcohol was condoned in some of the book’s anecdotes.  Also, there were some typographical errors.  This is somehow my fault.
Why do you send him stuff if he treats you like this?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #122 on: September 04, 2013, 01:08:29 PM »
Yikes.  I'm shocked that half of the posters here have anything to do with their parents now!  I need to remember to tell mine how awesome they are.

POD!

Well a cut direct did take place between my parents and myself 4 years ago and those years have been rather pleasant. :)  The longer I go without them in my life, the less I'm inclined to invite it all back in.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Syfygeek

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #123 on: September 04, 2013, 02:32:49 PM »
I had my DS at 26, and when he was about a year old I decided to get a tattoo- a dragon on my shoulder blade. I didn't tell my parents because I knew it would be WW3.

A few weeks later, I was picking up DS and my sleeveless shirt slid and both mom and dad saw THE TATTOO!

Mom told me if I got the baby tattooed, she would call social services on me. DS is 24 and I've offered to pay for a tattoo if he wants one, just so my mom will be right :D

Funny aside- with the tattoo drama, my dad went on and on about how tattoos ruin people, and he had one on his forearm and had it removed so he could get a job when he got out of the Marines- but I have pictures of him holding me when I was born in 1962, and there's no tattoo. My sisters were born in 1951 and 1953 and neither one ever remember a tattoo, so this mythical tattoo he had "lasered off" had to have been done in the mid 50's. Who knew laser removal in the 50's was so advanced to not leave any scarring at all?
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violinp

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #124 on: September 04, 2013, 02:37:23 PM »
I had my DS at 26, and when he was about a year old I decided to get a tattoo- a dragon on my shoulder blade. I didn't tell my parents because I knew it would be WW3.

A few weeks later, I was picking up DS and my sleeveless shirt slid and both mom and dad saw THE TATTOO!

Mom told me if I got the baby tattooed, she would call social services on me. DS is 24 and I've offered to pay for a tattoo if he wants one, just so my mom will be right :D

Funny aside- with the tattoo drama, my dad went on and on about how tattoos ruin people, and he had one on his forearm and had it removed so he could get a job when he got out of the Marines- but I have pictures of him holding me when I was born in 1962, and there's no tattoo. My sisters were born in 1951 and 1953 and neither one ever remember a tattoo, so this mythical tattoo he had "lasered off" had to have been done in the mid 50's. Who knew laser removal in the 50's was so advanced to not leave any scarring at all?

A professor of mine told us that her mom said, "If you ever get a hickey or a tattoo, I'll dig it out of you with a spoon!" Yeah, sure; let's totally make the situation worse than it has to be with lots of blood and scarring and hospital visits.  ::)
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Yvaine

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #125 on: September 04, 2013, 02:40:19 PM »
I had my DS at 26, and when he was about a year old I decided to get a tattoo- a dragon on my shoulder blade. I didn't tell my parents because I knew it would be WW3.

A few weeks later, I was picking up DS and my sleeveless shirt slid and both mom and dad saw THE TATTOO!

Mom told me if I got the baby tattooed, she would call social services on me. DS is 24 and I've offered to pay for a tattoo if he wants one, just so my mom will be right :D

Funny aside- with the tattoo drama, my dad went on and on about how tattoos ruin people, and he had one on his forearm and had it removed so he could get a job when he got out of the Marines- but I have pictures of him holding me when I was born in 1962, and there's no tattoo. My sisters were born in 1951 and 1953 and neither one ever remember a tattoo, so this mythical tattoo he had "lasered off" had to have been done in the mid 50's. Who knew laser removal in the 50's was so advanced to not leave any scarring at all?

A professor of mine told us that her mom said, "If you ever get a hickey or a tattoo, I'll dig it out of you with a spoon!" Yeah, sure; let's totally make the situation worse than it has to be with lots of blood and scarring and hospital visits.  ::)

Well, in that case at least, I'm pretty sure it's hyperbole.

violinp

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #126 on: September 04, 2013, 02:43:06 PM »
I had my DS at 26, and when he was about a year old I decided to get a tattoo- a dragon on my shoulder blade. I didn't tell my parents because I knew it would be WW3.

A few weeks later, I was picking up DS and my sleeveless shirt slid and both mom and dad saw THE TATTOO!

Mom told me if I got the baby tattooed, she would call social services on me. DS is 24 and I've offered to pay for a tattoo if he wants one, just so my mom will be right :D

Funny aside- with the tattoo drama, my dad went on and on about how tattoos ruin people, and he had one on his forearm and had it removed so he could get a job when he got out of the Marines- but I have pictures of him holding me when I was born in 1962, and there's no tattoo. My sisters were born in 1951 and 1953 and neither one ever remember a tattoo, so this mythical tattoo he had "lasered off" had to have been done in the mid 50's. Who knew laser removal in the 50's was so advanced to not leave any scarring at all?

A professor of mine told us that her mom said, "If you ever get a hickey or a tattoo, I'll dig it out of you with a spoon!" Yeah, sure; let's totally make the situation worse than it has to be with lots of blood and scarring and hospital visits.  ::)

Well, in that case at least, I'm pretty sure it's hyperbole.

No; apparently her mother had been deadly serious. My professor never tested her on it, but her mother did say that she was absolutely serious about doing that.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Shalamar

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #127 on: September 04, 2013, 02:50:58 PM »
My daughters (16 and 18) are both talking about getting tattoos.  It's fine with me (and they're planning to pay for them themselves), but I'm already wincing at how my parents are likely to react.  Considering that they've hated every modification both I and my girls have done, including ear piercings and hair colouring, they'll probably go up one wall and down the other side if/when they find out about the tattoos.

cwm

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #128 on: September 04, 2013, 04:04:32 PM »
When my parents got divorced, I cut my dad out of my life. (One of the best decisions I've ever made, actually, and this forum helps me keep him out.)

Sis and I were very open about how this whole thing affected each other, especially since Sproglet wasn't even here yet when they split and was still just a wee one when the divorce was finalized. The best bit of information I got out of her was that dad accused me of poisoning her mind against him. His words, not hers or mine. See, he wanted to bring his new lady to a fancy dinner, and sis and I were adamantly against it, despite him calling several times on the day of the event trying to guilt us by saying how upset she was to be staying at home. One of the early conversations, he encouraged us to talk to each other and let him know. She let him know that it was a no. He came back and asked if we'd really actually discussed it or if I had just said it out of spite. When she told him we did discuss it and decided together, that's when the poisoning the mind comment came in.

Also, he was the first to criticize what I studied in college. I started out with a music education degree, and if I had finished that and accepted a job within my state and kept it for 5 years, I would have had student loan debt forgiven entirely. But that was a horrible idea, to work in that field, it wouldn't pay enough and I'd never really enjoy it. So then when I tried to switch to music theory/composition, he'd ask why I even wanted to study something that was just made up recently. Also, there's absoultely no jobs in that field, so why would I even bother with working towards a degree that would mean nothing? When I tried to politely remind him that music theory that I was currently studying was from the 1400s, and that I could easily with my love of studying go on to grad school and end up teaching at a college, that wasn't good enough either.

When I came home (at parents' insistence) and eventually got into a program for adults to get a degree through a very nice university and I chose my major project for the year, it was the wrong project. See, when my mom had done this program (when I was in 7th grade, years and years ago) she had done a business plan for a hypothetical business. I was looking into grantwriting. And every single idea I had for writing a grant was wrong, at that. Until I came to one thing that someone else in the family had mentioned, which was to get a grant for the library at SmallTown that his family was from. They have some amazing archives, but no way to properly store it. The project didn't involve actually writing the grant and following through, just doing the research for it. So I didn't follow through. And he accused me of being a quitter. Because what was the point of all that work if I was just going to walk away from it. Never mind the fact that we live several hours away from SmallTown, writing grants and following through to get things like this is a full time job, the library doesn't have someone who can handle it, and I don't have the time, knowledge, or motivation even if the grant came through to supervise construction and contracts in the library. I was a quitter, and now the library wouldn't have the OldFamilyName Reading Room that he had planned.

Lynn2000

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #129 on: September 04, 2013, 04:06:38 PM »
As far as ridiculous criticisms go... When I was younger my parents, my dad in particular, forced me to take piano lessons. Nothing wrong with them in principle, I just didn't want them but didn't have a choice. I remember once my dad was trying to play the piano with me to help me practice, and he finally said, "Could you try to play the right notes?"  ::) Forgive me for making a mistake while practicing my piano lesson...

I was also a completely no-trouble, straight-A student. I once showed my dad my report card and heard, in an ominous tone, "You know, an A-minus is almost a B." And a B, in one subject, for one quarter, in sixth grade, would have been the end of the world::)

I honestly think I would rather have my hypothetical child get a mix of A's and B's, and be happy and kind, then have them get straight-A's but stress about it. Even if straight-A's were achievable by them (my school was not very challenging), having the highest level in every subject every time be the only acceptable outcome is just too stringent, IMO. I hope I would be like, okay, I think you can do all A's, but let's say there's a margin of error of 2 B's. So no ominous tones unless you start getting more B's than that.
~Lynn2000

Emmy

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #130 on: September 04, 2013, 06:11:12 PM »
Wow, I'm sorry some of you had parents say/do such awful things. 

My mom would criticize my hair as a teenager.  I had long hair (about halfway down my back) and would wear it down most of the time.  She would say "why don't you do something with your hair, it's just hanging" or "why don't you cut your hair?".  I thought hair was supposed to hang and was confused as to what else it should do.  Should it stick straight up?

My dad kept mentioning my weight during my first pregnancy.  He kept saying, I don't see why you need to gain more than 8 lbs, that is what a baby weighs and make sure I don't 'let myself go'.  He failed to take into consideration the extra fluid and stuff a pregnant woman has to carry around to support the baby.  I tried to explain this and tell him that the recommended weight gain for pregnant women is 25-35 lb.  Fortunately he didn't bring it up with my second pregnancy.

Even into my 20's my parents seem to think of me as a naive little girl who can't handle myself.  They hated the idea of me taking a trip by myself because apparently there would be predators after me and I wouldn't be savvy enough to look after myself.  I'm in my 30's and married now, but I imagine they would still think of me the same way.

My dad was a mechanic and would change the oil in my car when I came to visit.  He would always remark on how many miles I put on the car in a way that indicated that I drove way too much.  This was when I was in my 20's paying for the car, insurance, and gas.  Just for the record, I didn't drive an exceptional amount.  I just went to work which is a several mile commute and went out to do things with friends on the weekends.  If my dad drove very little, I could see where he was coming from, however when he was young, he drove much more than I did and often traveled long distances for ski trips, socializing, or out to eat.  After a while, I just went to Pep Boys for the oil change.

I found a job right out of college in my field.  It payed enough for me to be comfortable (although not a lot) and wasn't prestigious or glamorous, but I liked it.  They felt I should look for another job or go back to school.  I didn't really want to go back to grad school, but mentioned that if I did that I would study X (which was distantly related to my current field).  They tell me, 'oh, you really don't want to do X, that's a lot of work'.  Basically they thought I should go back to school, but not for the subject that would interest me most.

ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #131 on: September 04, 2013, 06:14:55 PM »
I have always been tall and have had large bones. Therefore, puberty caused me to have hips and breasts, which made me go from a US size 12 to a 14. My father told me that I would have to go to the tent maker to get clothes made. Yeah, not his finest moment.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #132 on: September 04, 2013, 06:23:16 PM »
My father tells me not to smile so much, especially if we are going to have a picture taken.  I don't know if it is because he has crooked teeth which he does not let show when he is talking or smiling.  His humor is very dry, so he doesn't laugh or smile much.  I can understand why he doesn't want to smile a great big smile because his crooked teeth would show, but why doesn't he want me to smile?  I've been told my smile is my best feature and that it "lights up" my face. :-\
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lady_disdain

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #133 on: September 04, 2013, 06:51:22 PM »
How sad - I much prefer a big, open, crooked tooth smile to someone who feels they have to rein in their smile to hide an imperfection.

Specky

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #134 on: September 04, 2013, 07:03:25 PM »

Yikes.  I'm shocked that half of the posters here have anything to do with their parents now!




I don't have contact.  Cut direct for many reasons.