When my parents got divorced, I cut my dad out of my life. (One of the best decisions I've ever made, actually, and this forum helps me keep him out.)
Sis and I were very open about how this whole thing affected each other, especially since Sproglet wasn't even here yet when they split and was still just a wee one when the divorce was finalized. The best bit of information I got out of her was that dad accused me of poisoning her mind against him. His words, not hers or mine. See, he wanted to bring his new lady to a fancy dinner, and sis and I were adamantly against it, despite him calling several times on the day of the event trying to guilt us by saying how upset she was to be staying at home. One of the early conversations, he encouraged us to talk to each other and let him know. She let him know that it was a no. He came back and asked if we'd really actually discussed it or if I had just said it out of spite. When she told him we did discuss it and decided together, that's when the poisoning the mind comment came in.
Also, he was the first to criticize what I studied in college. I started out with a music education degree, and if I had finished that and accepted a job within my state and kept it for 5 years, I would have had student loan debt forgiven entirely. But that was a horrible idea, to work in that field, it wouldn't pay enough and I'd never really enjoy it. So then when I tried to switch to music theory/composition, he'd ask why I even wanted to study something that was just made up recently. Also, there's absoultely no jobs in that field, so why would I even bother with working towards a degree that would mean nothing? When I tried to politely remind him that music theory that I was currently studying was from the 1400s, and that I could easily with my love of studying go on to grad school and end up teaching at a college, that wasn't good enough either.
When I came home (at parents' insistence) and eventually got into a program for adults to get a degree through a very nice university and I chose my major project for the year, it was the wrong project. See, when my mom had done this program (when I was in 7th grade, years and years ago) she had done a business plan for a hypothetical business. I was looking into grantwriting. And every single idea I had for writing a grant was wrong, at that. Until I came to one thing that someone else in the family had mentioned, which was to get a grant for the library at SmallTown that his family was from. They have some amazing archives, but no way to properly store it. The project didn't involve actually writing the grant and following through, just doing the research for it. So I didn't follow through. And he accused me of being a quitter. Because what was the point of all that work if I was just going to walk away from it. Never mind the fact that we live several hours away from SmallTown, writing grants and following through to get things like this is a full time job, the library doesn't have someone who can handle it, and I don't have the time, knowledge, or motivation even if the grant came through to supervise construction and contracts in the library. I was a quitter, and now the library wouldn't have the OldFamilyName Reading Room that he had planned.