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Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 264705 times)

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pearls n purls

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #285 on: September 15, 2013, 02:12:51 AM »
When I was college-aged, I was criticized for not being a flirt.

When I was about 17, a friend and I bought a rub-on temporary tattoo.  I was teasing my younger sister, pretending it was a real tattoo.  (Knowing she knew it was fake.)  My mother overheard, and started screaming at me that I was being a bad influence and that it was the same as if I offered my sister drugs!

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #286 on: September 15, 2013, 06:22:14 AM »
I've heard the same thing; I don't flirt either.  I refuse to put myself in any situation that could make a fool out of me.

As to comparing a temporary tattoo to offering drugs, that is completely over the top.





JoW

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #287 on: September 15, 2013, 09:06:01 AM »
JoW   How does your mother know all those personal details about you?

I think if the mother came over and stayed overnight for a visit, she'd find out almost all of these. But they'd be picked up in conversation or just by hearing of interactions others have with JoW anyway (e.g. what she wears, when she gets up, etc.)

But it's still really, really nasty. And kind of silly: "You exercise regularly!" how is that not a compliment? "You eat breakfast!" is a very boring statement, and "You don't leave the radio on while you sleep" applies to probably 99% of people on Earth. Some people just like being nasty  >:(
Pen^2 is right.  Mom used to find out a lot about me in routine conversation.  I was proud of my first blood donation and told her about it.  I enjoy exercise classes and told her about it.  My glasses are on anytime I need to see anything further than my fingertips.  They are hard to miss. 

Before I stopped letting her visit she would typically visit for about 10 days.   In that time she would see me run 2-3 loads of laundry and see me run the dishwasher a couple of times.

Mom snoops.  I used to let her stay here while I was at work. She would use that opportunity to bring in and read my mail, clean my closet and throw out clothing she didn't like, replace my cleaning products, clean inside my refrigerator and discard food, read my financial files .........

Mom was born in 1931.  When she was a teen everyone "knew" that exercise was bad for women.  It would damage your womb, and a woman is nothing without a working womb. 

I moved 1000 miles from her when I got my degree and my first real grownup job.  We are still in contact, but just barely.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2013, 09:07:58 AM by JoW »

Cherry91

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #288 on: September 15, 2013, 02:09:32 PM »
This is pretty minor compared to many of the other comments, but my dad has one habit that drives me mad.

If my parents and I are having any kind of discussion where not everyone's opinions match, be it friendly debate or big blowout argument, if my opinion on the matter even remotely resembles my mother's, I'm "only saying that to agree with her". And nothing will convince him otherwise. The awkward thing is, as I'm very similar to my mother, yeah, it's often likely we'll have a similar thought process and opinions.

Funnily enough, if I agree with him on something, he never accuses me of just saying it to agree with him!
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

poundcake

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #289 on: September 15, 2013, 04:33:57 PM »
I think my mom expected me to be more like her.  She seemed disappointed that we had so little in common and perhaps it was just wishing there was some common interests we could relate on. 
...We don't even dress alike. She's very preppy, I prefer hippie/boho styles. She's an extrovert, I'm an introvert.

Same here. My mom was popular, tomboyish, outgoing, flirtatious, a bit of a bad girl, and the life of the party. I was shy, a bookworm, loved pretty dresses and dolls, ballet, and had zero interest in boys, parties or flirting. So there was the constant battle back and forth of me not meeting her expectations, and her being frustrated that I was so unlike anything she'd experienced. She was also a very young mother and hadn't grown up herself, so she took a lot of her insecurities out on me. If I didn't want to play softball, make mud pies, or climb trees, it was a personal rejection of her. I was also a late bloomer, boy-wise, so it made me very uncomfortable to have her asking me when I was 10 and 11 years old which boys I liked and who I thought was cute. Bunnies were cute. Boys were evil!

Today, she still has a hard time not taking my differing interests as some sort of personal rejection, but we've come a long way.

Optimoose Prime

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #290 on: September 15, 2013, 09:14:36 PM »
The last time I talked with my mother (about 2006) she told me she, "never interferred in your life."  Yeah, not for lack of trying.  Seriously, I was over 40 then.  What makes her think I needed her interference?

TheaterDiva1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #291 on: September 15, 2013, 09:24:09 PM »
MIL started telling DS when he was 5 that he should remember that there is a proper order for life to go in. You go to school, graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, a well paying job, buy a house, then you find a girlfriend and get married eventually, then children.

That is a dig at DH and I. DH joined the US Army just out of high school, then met me at his job after being discharged, we dated, got our own apartment, DH went to school and got an Associate in Science degree while we both worked, we got married and had DS, now I am going to school.

I overheard MIL telling DS that little life philosophy and told her that if she ever said that again, she would not be alone with DS ever again. AFAIK, she has not repeated it.

MIL has never gone to college or had a median income job, so I am not sure where her philosophy comes from.

Really?  I would've pointed out to MIL that had you done things in the "proper order," your DS may not even exist today!  I'd love to hear her response to that!

Kimblee

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #292 on: September 15, 2013, 09:37:45 PM »
It kinds of annoys me when I see babies with pierced ears. They should have to nag their moms at least as much as I had to do first!

lol

I got mine done at six weeks. I love.love.love that my mom did that for me. I have tried to get a second set for over 10 years and they always get infected, or in the last try, when they healed we discovered they were WAY too close to my previous set. (the infections I'm convinced come from workers at claire's/walmart not paying mind to any cleaning issues before piercing, the set that was off center the girl cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned before she started and pinned my hair high above my ears/laid a paper sheet over my neck so my ear was very, very clean.)

Next time, I'm going to a piercing parlor, the one that did my cousin's navel. It looks like a cross between an OR and a torture dungeon but nothing I've ever seen that they poked the hole in got infected.

suzieQ

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #293 on: September 16, 2013, 12:01:34 AM »
It kinds of annoys me when I see babies with pierced ears. They should have to nag their moms at least as much as I had to do first!

lol

I got mine done at six weeks. I love.love.love that my mom did that for me. I have tried to get a second set for over 10 years and they always get infected, or in the last try, when they healed we discovered they were WAY too close to my previous set. (the infections I'm convinced come from workers at claire's/walmart not paying mind to any cleaning issues before piercing, the set that was off center the girl cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned before she started and pinned my hair high above my ears/laid a paper sheet over my neck so my ear was very, very clean.)

Next time, I'm going to a piercing parlor, the one that did my cousin's navel. It looks like a cross between an OR and a torture dungeon but nothing I've ever seen that they poked the hole in got infected.

Do you think a piercing parlor would help me? My ears get these "lumps" in them every time I wear earrings. And DH can't leave them alone - he thinks he has to squeeze the lumps out through my piercings.  ::)
So I quit wearing earrings. Would a new set of holes help me out or is this an allergy? I've tried all types of metals and everything seems to cause these lumps.

twiggy

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #294 on: September 16, 2013, 12:53:22 AM »
Technically not my mom, but MIL has been a mother figure to me since I was a teenager.

MIL doesn't let things drop. Last week was my 10 year HS reunion, and she still brings up how devastated she was that I blew her off on Graduation night. Well, her son and I were broken up at the time, I had a different boyfriend and I had about 10 minutes to see him and all my friends before my parents made it onto the field and I was expected to be with them for Family Time. So to have my ex-boyfriends mom crying was a bit awkward. I excused myself as quickly as possible. Still hearing about it.

Also, shortly after DH and I got married, we were with the extended family at Denny's. I had ordered hash browns, but they didn't come with the meal. I asked, in what I think was a normal tone, where they were. That morphed into hysterics, weeping, and rending of garments in despair over my missing hash browns. Yesterday we were at IHOP with MIL and the waitress gave her my pancakes. MIL said "Oh, she NEEDS her pancakes. You don't mess with HER pancakes." But it was hash browns, and I really wasn't that broken up about it. I promise.

Oh, and our wedding was fated. In HS, DH and I used to talk about getting married. We had even set a month/year. We broke up, he moved away, came home, we reconnected, and we ended up getting married in that month/year. It was destiny :). There were extenuating circumstances, but we ended up deciding we didn't want to wait any longer on Sunday, and we got married on Monday. So we were calling people asking "Hey Uncle Bob, what are you doing tonight? Oh, well, if you're not busy, I'm getting married." This has morphed into we had[/b] to get married that night so that it would be month/year. I finally started telling her that I didn't even remember that DH and I had talked about month/year as teenagers, and that I had totally forgotten about it until she, MIL, had brought it up.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Twik

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #295 on: September 16, 2013, 08:30:40 AM »
It kinds of annoys me when I see babies with pierced ears. They should have to nag their moms at least as much as I had to do first!

lol

I got mine done at six weeks. I love.love.love that my mom did that for me. I have tried to get a second set for over 10 years and they always get infected, or in the last try, when they healed we discovered they were WAY too close to my previous set. (the infections I'm convinced come from workers at claire's/walmart not paying mind to any cleaning issues before piercing, the set that was off center the girl cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned before she started and pinned my hair high above my ears/laid a paper sheet over my neck so my ear was very, very clean.)

Next time, I'm going to a piercing parlor, the one that did my cousin's navel. It looks like a cross between an OR and a torture dungeon but nothing I've ever seen that they poked the hole in got infected.

Lol. You need to get them done the way my greatgrandmother got hers done. By her father, taking a break from spreading manure. She brought him a boiled darning needle to make the hole, and he held a field potato behind her ear as a support.

No infection at all.... :o
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ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #296 on: September 16, 2013, 09:29:44 AM »
MIL started telling DS when he was 5 that he should remember that there is a proper order for life to go in. You go to school, graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, a well paying job, buy a house, then you find a girlfriend and get married eventually, then children.

That is a dig at DH and I. DH joined the US Army just out of high school, then met me at his job after being discharged, we dated, got our own apartment, DH went to school and got an Associate in Science degree while we both worked, we got married and had DS, now I am going to school.

I overheard MIL telling DS that little life philosophy and told her that if she ever said that again, she would not be alone with DS ever again. AFAIK, she has not repeated it.

MIL has never gone to college or had a median income job, so I am not sure where her philosophy comes from.

Really?  I would've pointed out to MIL that had you done things in the "proper order," your DS may not even exist today!  I'd love to hear her response to that!

I did tell her that. I am no longer allowing her to influence our lives. She does not have enough to keep her occupied, so she wants to arrange everyone's lives. ::)
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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #297 on: September 16, 2013, 09:46:04 AM »

Do you think a piercing parlor would help me? My ears get these "lumps" in them every time I wear earrings. And DH can't leave them alone - he thinks he has to squeeze the lumps out through my piercings.  ::)
So I quit wearing earrings. Would a new set of holes help me out or is this an allergy? I've tried all types of metals and everything seems to cause these lumps.

Have you tried niobium or titanium?  Piercing parlors carry those. I'm extremely sensitive to most metals - can't even wear stainless steel or gold. I have niobium hoops and a medical piece of titanium in my breast as a marker to show where my surgery was on mammograms.
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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #298 on: September 16, 2013, 11:31:15 AM »
Ok I got a ridiculous one this weekend, from my future MIL. Now, my MIL is awesome, we get along great but well...she's a bit of an odd duck (fine by me, I come from a long line of wack-a-doodles).

So Partner gets called in on Saturday to fix...something at work (this happens from time to time). While she's gone MIL calls me up to ask what we're up to for the day, just chatting. I tell her Partner got called in, and I just dropped the dogs off to get groomed and I'm cleaning around the house. MIL tuts at me and says "Again! You said on Thursday you were cleaning when I called! You girls clean way too much! If your house is a mess, it's a mess! No big deal! Now stop cleaning and go enjoy your life!", yes, she really complains we clean too much.

We do like our house to be fairly neat, and the easiest way to do this and to pick up and clean up as we go. MIL finally broke down a few years ago and hired a cleaning lady. According to Partner she never cleaned, that's just not what she did. Now, I say I'm a terrible housekeeper, I'll forget to vaccum, or I won't clean the bathroom, but according to Partner, MIL was more like, no clean clothes? Just wear dirty or buy some new ones! Dishes dirty? We've got paper plates! When the kids all moved out (they did a lot of the cleaning), it got pretty bad and finally they hired someone to come in and clean for her for a few months. She loved it and hired her on full time. She can't figure out why we don't just hire someone. We've talked about it, for the deep cleaning, but for right now it's just not something we want to spend money on. I feel better that she says the same things to Partner's brother and sister. They just say "We'll look into that mom" and onto the next subject.

mbbored

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #299 on: September 16, 2013, 11:43:50 AM »
Talking to my siblings. She gets very upset if she says "Well, your sister is planning a trip to Narnia," and I reply with:

"Oh, I know! We were talking about what places she has to see while she's there!"

Apparently it's unacceptable for my siblings and I to tell each other anything before we tell our mother. Never mind that I lived in Narnia and have tips about site seeing, food, language barriers, etc.