Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 90508 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #420 on: September 24, 2013, 10:21:27 PM »
Slightly O/T. Mom is unable to work any more, but won't get involved in a group or charity where she can volunteer, because "that is what old people do". She is not old, but past the standard retirement age in the US, and volunteering would be so good for her!

But what do I know?  ::)

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #421 on: September 24, 2013, 10:31:58 PM »
My mother would scoff at volunteer work because one doesn't get paid.

She would also criticize me for going to the Met Gift Shop today to meet Placido Domingo.

ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #422 on: September 24, 2013, 10:39:53 PM »
^ Wow!

We (my younger sisters and I), were not allowed to volunteer or work other than babysitting. We had zero sense of responsibility when it was time to move out.

I guess I am the opposite of how I was raised at this point.

TheWeirdOne

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #423 on: September 25, 2013, 03:53:09 AM »
I had a friend in high school who would come home with 98% on a test and be asked about the other 2%.

Mum has had a few zingers over the years. Recently she's been getting in little digs on my weight, usually done in a completely matter of fact tone:
'You used to be thin when you were 16'. For the record, I'm turning 25 and weigh about 3 kilos more than I did then. A Masters degree will do that to you.
'There's no way you could fit into your formal (prom) dress now'. Well yes, it is a little tight now. Around the bust ;D
'Are you sure that will fit?' Well, I'm wearing it now, so, yeah.
The all time heavyweight champion of criticisms was telling me at age 10 or so 'you're not important and you're not special'. She doesn't remember this, but I always will. However, she's done some pretty awesome stuff for me too, so it balances out.

My Grandmother sometimes forgets that I'm an adult as well (one of the perils of living at home still). Sometimes I have to remind her that I'm not 12 anymore.

Bethalize

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #424 on: September 25, 2013, 04:44:09 AM »
My mother would scoff at volunteer work because one doesn't get paid.

She would also criticize me for going to the Met Gift Shop today to meet Placido Domingo.

You're meeting Domingo? Wow!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #425 on: September 25, 2013, 06:39:15 AM »
My folks always thought I was too old to be so into pirates and writing fanfiction about them, and when I was getting close to my 30's I was starting to believe them, until I met my best friend who is in her 50s. :)  Suddenly it didn't feel so immature anymore! :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #426 on: September 25, 2013, 07:18:31 AM »
My mother would scoff at volunteer work because one doesn't get paid.

She would also criticize me for going to the Met Gift Shop today to meet Placido Domingo.

You're meeting Domingo? Wow!

I've met several of my favorite singers, but my mother never got that this is a special privilege that's important to many people.

When the rock music thing became important to me as a teen she would go on about how these people laugh at their fans after taking their money.  When I became an adult I made the decision to stop talking about any of this because I didn't need to hear that nonsense.

Thipu1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #427 on: September 25, 2013, 07:34:36 AM »
Slightly O/T. Mom is unable to work any more, but won't get involved in a group or charity where she can volunteer, because "that is what old people do". She is not old, but past the standard retirement age in the US, and volunteering would be so good for her!

But what do I know?  ::)

Sure, most of our volunteers were older ladies but we also had high school students. 

faithlessone

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #428 on: September 25, 2013, 10:26:16 AM »
My Grandmother sometimes forgets that I'm an adult as well (one of the perils of living at home still). Sometimes I have to remind her that I'm not 12 anymore.

My grandmother is like this, and probably for the same reason (I'm still living at home too.) She always seems surprised when I remind her I can drive, and have a proper job. She has also recently started needing convincing that I have actually finished university and have a degree already. She actually wasn't keen on my going to university in the first place - "a woman doesn't need that much education!" - so I'm surprised when she asks me how my studies are going.

Personally, I think she's starting to get me and my 16-year-old cousin mixed up. We have similar names (Emily/Amy), and both see her quite often.

Thipu1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #429 on: September 25, 2013, 10:51:44 AM »
My Grandmother sometimes forgets that I'm an adult as well (one of the perils of living at home still). Sometimes I have to remind her that I'm not 12 anymore.

My grandmother is like this, and probably for the same reason (I'm still living at home too.) She always seems surprised when I remind her I can drive, and have a proper job. She has also recently started needing convincing that I have actually finished university and have a degree already. She actually wasn't keen on my going to university in the first place - "a woman doesn't need that much education!" - so I'm surprised when she asks me how my studies are going.

Personally, I think she's starting to get me and my 16-year-old cousin mixed up. We have similar names (Emily/Amy), and both see her quite often.

MIL gets like this too.  When we go to visit, we promise ourselves that we'll humor her as much as possible.  That lasts about two hours. 

If we took all her suggestions, we'd be sucking our thumbs and clutching snack bags of Cheerios to our chests by the time we headed home. 

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #430 on: September 25, 2013, 11:09:43 AM »
Got one from my mom yesterday!

So, our mornings pretty much run like this: we get up, walk the dogs, Partner showers and starts getting ready for work, I make us breakfast, we eat, Partner finishes getting ready for work, I was dishes from breakfast and double check Partner remembered to pack lunch, sometimes I gather her stuff for her, kiss kiss and she's off and I...do whatever the heck I'd like to do.

Ok, so, my mom...not so thrilled at this. She thinks we should trade off who cooks breakfast and that if I cook it, Partner should clean up. She even told me I should just make my own breakfast so Partner doesn't think she's "in charge of me" and what would Partner do if I just stopped making breakfast? Well, she moved out of her mom's house 10 years ago but only moved in with me 2 years ago, so that's 8 years she was in charge of her own breakfast so I'm pretty sure she'd just make her own food (actually longer, her mom didn't exactly make breakfast every morning).

My mother is very concerned about me "giving up my power" (over breakfast food apparently) and Partner thinking she "controls" me or that I take over too many of "housewife" duties.  ::) I work from home, so while I'm working I'll pick up around the house.  And why wouldn't I make her food while I make me food? She makes me food when she makes herself food. But she actually hast to be somewhere every morning at a designated time. Me? Not so much.

Chip2

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #431 on: September 25, 2013, 11:32:53 AM »
My folks always thought I was too old to be so into pirates and writing fanfiction about them, and when I was getting close to my 30's I was starting to believe them, until I met my best friend who is in her 50s. :)  Suddenly it didn't feel so immature anymore! :)

I'm almost 50 and I'm writing Dragon Age fanfic. And I'm having a lot of fun with it.

And my mom was constantly criticizing me for only thinking about 'those games'.  I got the last laugh on that when I had to play one of those games for a college course. And rolling all those dice has given me an intuitive understanding of probability and statistics; I got an award for tutoring my peers in those subjects. Mom was all  ???

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #432 on: September 25, 2013, 12:14:59 PM »
My folks always thought I was too old to be so into pirates and writing fanfiction about them, and when I was getting close to my 30's I was starting to believe them, until I met my best friend who is in her 50s. :)  Suddenly it didn't feel so immature anymore! :)

My mother cannot understand my obsession with fanfiction (if I like a show/movie/play/book/band, I'm going to find fanfic about it, or I'm going to write it), she thinks it's nutty but leaves me be. She has read stories I've written (about shows we both like usually) and likes them. Though she is very concerned I'll be hauled off to jail any minute now.

Drunken Housewife

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #433 on: September 25, 2013, 12:40:29 PM »
I'm going to try not to go wild here, because i have a lot of stories!  What amazes me no end as a parent is how my parents chose things a normal person would have been proud of to attack.

Having a gym membership and working out:  my parents thought that was the stupidest idea possible and harangued me endlessly about it.  Evidently I should have just found chores to do around the house for exercise; anything else was immoral.  My sister kept saying that she and my mother knew the only reason I did it was to try to pick up guys.  Even though I said, "If that was the case, I'd have quit a long time ago.  I haven't had a single date from it", I had to keep hearing that.

Having a reasonable number of sequential relationships in college:  my parents were high school sweethearts and married young.  Evidently doing anything else means you're a damned skank.  "You're like a butterfly!  You need to stop it.  You're going to get AIDS."

Being proud of having won a National Merit Scholarship:   my father said, "You think you're so special.  Well, there's someone like this in every town.  You'll find out when you go to college that you are just ordinary."

Settling down with a special boyfriend (my first husband):  my father told me, "He's too tall." (He was 6'4").  My father told my ex, "You know, you can do better than her."

Going to a movie with a friend:  "You left your sister at home all alone!  You should be ashamed!  Your poor sister!"  My sister was older than me, a 20 year-old college student. 

It was my fault my sister got into a traffic accident:  "It was all your fault.  I hope you learned that the passenger has a responsibility to the driver."  This is worse because I'd gotten out of the hospital the day before with meningitis, was still in a lot of pain and on heavy narcotics.

That leads nicely to another anecdote:  being so sick with meningitis that I needed to go to a hospital.  "Obviously you have no faith, or you'd be healed by now."  Thanks, Dad!  Way to make someone in extreme misery feel better!

My mother had a weird way of running me down to other people and being proud of it.  I worked at a jewelry store as a teen, and she ostentatiously thanked my boss in front of me for helping me pick up accessories to wear to my graduation from high school:  "Thanks for finding her what to get. You know she would have gotten something awful on her own (theatrical shudder).  You know her taste."  My first fiance told me once he said to her, "Wow, she made me the most amazing lasagna last night," and he was freaked out when she laughed and said, "You're going to get sick of that.  It's the only thing she can make." 

I could go on and on, but this is enough for now.  Is it any wonder I am in therapy?  I'm not telling the worst ones because they might be too upsetting for people to hear.  These give enough of the picture.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #434 on: September 25, 2013, 12:46:36 PM »
Wow! Terrible, I am glad you have gotten away from them. If you need to vent about the other stories, feel free to send a PM.