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Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 264513 times)

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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #420 on: September 25, 2013, 11:14:59 AM »
My folks always thought I was too old to be so into pirates and writing fanfiction about them, and when I was getting close to my 30's I was starting to believe them, until I met my best friend who is in her 50s. :)  Suddenly it didn't feel so immature anymore! :)

My mother cannot understand my obsession with fanfiction (if I like a show/movie/play/book/band, I'm going to find fanfic about it, or I'm going to write it), she thinks it's nutty but leaves me be. She has read stories I've written (about shows we both like usually) and likes them. Though she is very concerned I'll be hauled off to jail any minute now.

Drunken Housewife

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #421 on: September 25, 2013, 11:40:29 AM »
I'm going to try not to go wild here, because i have a lot of stories!  What amazes me no end as a parent is how my parents chose things a normal person would have been proud of to attack.

Having a gym membership and working out:  my parents thought that was the stupidest idea possible and harangued me endlessly about it.  Evidently I should have just found chores to do around the house for exercise; anything else was immoral.  My sister kept saying that she and my mother knew the only reason I did it was to try to pick up guys.  Even though I said, "If that was the case, I'd have quit a long time ago.  I haven't had a single date from it", I had to keep hearing that.

Having a reasonable number of sequential relationships in college:  my parents were high school sweethearts and married young.  Evidently doing anything else means you're a damned skank.  "You're like a butterfly!  You need to stop it.  You're going to get AIDS."

Being proud of having won a National Merit Scholarship:   my father said, "You think you're so special.  Well, there's someone like this in every town.  You'll find out when you go to college that you are just ordinary."

Settling down with a special boyfriend (my first husband):  my father told me, "He's too tall." (He was 6'4").  My father told my ex, "You know, you can do better than her."

Going to a movie with a friend:  "You left your sister at home all alone!  You should be ashamed!  Your poor sister!"  My sister was older than me, a 20 year-old college student. 

It was my fault my sister got into a traffic accident:  "It was all your fault.  I hope you learned that the passenger has a responsibility to the driver."  This is worse because I'd gotten out of the hospital the day before with meningitis, was still in a lot of pain and on heavy narcotics.

That leads nicely to another anecdote:  being so sick with meningitis that I needed to go to a hospital.  "Obviously you have no faith, or you'd be healed by now."  Thanks, Dad!  Way to make someone in extreme misery feel better!

My mother had a weird way of running me down to other people and being proud of it.  I worked at a jewelry store as a teen, and she ostentatiously thanked my boss in front of me for helping me pick up accessories to wear to my graduation from high school:  "Thanks for finding her what to get. You know she would have gotten something awful on her own (theatrical shudder).  You know her taste."  My first fiance told me once he said to her, "Wow, she made me the most amazing lasagna last night," and he was freaked out when she laughed and said, "You're going to get sick of that.  It's the only thing she can make." 

I could go on and on, but this is enough for now.  Is it any wonder I am in therapy?  I'm not telling the worst ones because they might be too upsetting for people to hear.  These give enough of the picture.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #422 on: September 25, 2013, 11:46:36 AM »
Wow! Terrible, I am glad you have gotten away from them. If you need to vent about the other stories, feel free to send a PM.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Betelnut

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #423 on: September 25, 2013, 11:51:14 AM »
(((Drunken Housewife)))

 :'(
Native Texan, Marylander currently

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #424 on: September 25, 2013, 11:58:01 AM »
I've read enough to wonder if we're related, D H.


Outdoor Girl

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #425 on: September 25, 2013, 12:02:43 PM »
Reading these stories, remind me to thank my Dad and send a prayer of thanks to my Mom.  They had their faults and did criticize me occasionally but they were always proud of me, almost to the point of bragging about me (and my brother) to their friends and family.

I remember calling them when I was having an awful time at work with my supervisor.  It was so bad, it was making me sick and I was *this close* to quitting.  I asked them if they'd be as proud of their daughter, the cake decorator, as they were of their daughter, the biochemist.  They were completely ready to support me emotionally and financially if I had decided to quit.  It took me over a year but I did manage to find another job, without quitting, and 8 months after that, I got the great job I have now.

So great big ((((hugs)))) to all of you who were criticized so much.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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MerryCat

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #426 on: September 25, 2013, 01:00:18 PM »
My mother has a tendency to pick on my appearance. I guess that's because I don't tell her anything about the rest of my life that she might criticize.

Here's the most recent thing that happened. I have a blouse for work that I love. My mother hates it. She's decided it looks worn and ratty (because it's from a consignment store), and makes me look fat (because the one time she saw me wearing it it was with an improperly fitted skirt that made me look chubby.) She forbade me to wear it to work ever again  ::)

Well, I know that the blouse isn't ratty, and that, with the correct skirt, it's actually flattering, so I just ignored her. But, when I wore to a recent work function and got a lot of compliments on it, I couldn't help bragging a little to my mum to rub it in her face. Her reaction? They were lying.

Yes, according to my mother, every single person who complimented me did so because the shirt so ugly they couldn't help commenting on it. But, because they didn't want to hurt my feelings, they lied and said that it looked nice. Can't win to lose with that woman, I tell you.

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #427 on: September 25, 2013, 03:09:13 PM »
I actually once knew someone who felt that parenthood included the privilege of embarrassing one's children in such a manner.  I hope he never had any children of his own.





CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #428 on: September 25, 2013, 07:13:02 PM »
Back when I was in high school, the parents' house had a carport with a long driveway and a perpendicular parking strip in front of the house.  I was backing out of the carport when Dad arrived home.  I pulled forward so he could turn in and park on the strip.  He neglected to put his car in park when he got out, and his car rolled backwards and crashed into mine.  This was somehow my fault.  I overheard my mother tell him, "Daffodil should not have been backing out of the driveway"   ::)
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Drunken Housewife

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #429 on: September 25, 2013, 07:35:47 PM »
More mindboggling ones from my parents (less depressing than the ones before):

How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki (???) that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

At my sister's rushed marriage to someone my parents did not approve of:  I was wearing fancy black shoes with a dark blue and green dress.  My mother threw a tantrum and said I would ruin the whole wedding because I was wearing black shoes, said I was forbidden to attend, etc... until one of my cousins managed to find a pair of white flats to loan me.  (Incidentally it was after Labor Day).  Because somehow these scuffed white shoes, which didn't go with my dress at all, were somehow appropriate for a wedding and my pretty black flats would have "ruined your sister's wedding."

In the eighties I was fond of New Wave music.  My parents found this unChristian and somehow thought it was soul-threatening punk music (Blondie and the Cars aren't exactly the Sex Pistols, but they thought it was).  My mother seriously threatened to throw me out of the house if I didn't change my taste in music.  "If you get any more punk, I'm throwing you out.  It's called tough love."  She was very smug about this.   There was no end of criticism over my choice of music.
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lady_disdain

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #430 on: September 25, 2013, 08:03:46 PM »
How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki (???) that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

I had no idea red and khaki was so offensive. I love this combination, but khaki is really not my colour.

Elfmama

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #431 on: September 25, 2013, 08:09:10 PM »
At my sister's rushed marriage to someone my parents did not approve of:  I was wearing fancy black shoes with a dark blue and green dress.  My mother threw a tantrum and said I would ruin the whole wedding because I was wearing black shoes, said I was forbidden to attend, etc... until one of my cousins managed to find a pair of white flats to loan me.  (Incidentally it was after Labor Day).  Because somehow these scuffed white shoes, which didn't go with my dress at all, were somehow appropriate for a wedding and my pretty black flats would have "ruined your sister's wedding."
What, didn't you know that the tradition is that ALL wedding guests, throughout the ceremony, must stare in admiration at the bride's sister's shoes?  ???
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gramma dishes

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #432 on: September 25, 2013, 08:14:35 PM »
What, didn't you know that the tradition is that ALL wedding guests, throughout the ceremony, must stare in admiration at the bride's sister's shoes?  ???

Actually they might if they were white, ill fitting and scuffed!   :)

Well, maybe they wouldn't be staring in 'admiration'.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #433 on: September 25, 2013, 09:05:05 PM »
How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki (???) that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

I had no idea red and khaki was so offensive. I love this combination, but khaki is really not my colour.

We better let the good folks at Target know. ;)

Clothes weren't too much of an issue in our house.  I do remember going shopping with my mother and going into a Hot Topic and holding up something that was ever so mildly goth. I can't even remember what it was but it wasn't even leather, I don't think.  She said "Are you trying to shock me?" I put the article of clothing back on the rack with a huff and left the store rather annoyed.  I really hadn't been trying to shock her at all, I actually thought it was cool and might look good on me and was just really irritated with her answer.

Then later when I got back into the broomstick skirts and already had maybe 3, she had asked me to make an Amazon gift list with a few different options so that way I wouldn't know what she'd be getting me from that list.  One was a broomstick skirt.  She said "Don't you have enough broomstick skirts?" I asked innocently "Is there such a thing?" I did end up getting the skirt, so I do have to give her that, but she did not like my wearing them.

Which is kind of funny, since she bought me the first two I ever owned.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

KenveeB

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #434 on: September 25, 2013, 10:40:43 PM »
How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki (???) that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

I had no idea red and khaki was so offensive. I love this combination, but khaki is really not my colour.

I never wear it, but only because I'm sure to have to stop at Target and will then be mistaken for an employee. :)