Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about

[Betelnut]

(((Drunken Housewife)))

 

[Lorelei_Evil]

I've read enough to wonder if we're related, D H.

[Outdoor Girl]

Reading these stories, remind me to thank my Dad and send a prayer of thanks to my Mom.  They had their faults and did criticize me occasionally but they were always proud of me, almost to the point of bragging about me (and my brother) to their friends and family.

I remember calling them when I was having an awful time at work with my supervisor.  It was so bad, it was making me sick and I was *this close* to quitting.  I asked them if they'd be as proud of their daughter, the cake decorator, as they were of their daughter, the biochemist.  They were completely ready to support me emotionally and financially if I had decided to quit.  It took me over a year but I did manage to find another job, without quitting, and 8 months after that, I got the great job I have now.

So great big ((((hugs)))) to all of you who were criticized so much.

[MerryCat]

My mother has a tendency to pick on my appearance. I guess that's because I don't tell her anything about the rest of my life that she might criticize.

Here's the most recent thing that happened. I have a blouse for work that I love. My mother hates it. She's decided it looks worn and ratty (because it's from a consignment store), and makes me look fat (because the one time she saw me wearing it it was with an improperly fitted skirt that made me look chubby.) She forbade me to wear it to work ever again 

Well, I know that the blouse isn't ratty, and that, with the correct skirt, it's actually flattering, so I just ignored her. But, when I wore to a recent work function and got a lot of compliments on it, I couldn't help bragging a little to my mum to rub it in her face. Her reaction? They were lying.

Yes, according to my mother, every single person who complimented me did so because the shirt so ugly they couldn't help commenting on it. But, because they didn't want to hurt my feelings, they lied and said that it looked nice. Can't win to lose with that woman, I tell you.

[Shalamar]

DH, a couple of your stories reminded me of my own:

When I was 22, I decided to move out of my parents' house into my own apartment.  My parents were horrified, especially when they saw said apartment (to be fair, it was pretty grotty in a not-great neighborhood).  I'm pretty sure no neighborhood would've been good enough, however.  My mum kept saying "I just don't understand why you'd want to leave a nice home like ours to live in that SLUM."  Then she'd add "I bet your boyfriend put you up to it" (as if I had no mind of my own).  I'd been saying that I wanted my own place since I was 18 and hadn't even met my boyfriend yet, but no, it must be all his fault.

Meanwhile, my dad said darkly "If you move out, your mother and I will probably get a divorce.  You're the only thing holding our marriage together."  Over 25 years later, they're still married.
 
On a different topic - this wasn't a criticism, but more like an "Argh!  WHY did you say that?"  I was a secretary for a while, and one day the company's publicists took my boss and me to lunch at a very nice restaurant.  I was secretly thrilled, but I tried to play it cool as though I ate business lunches in places like that every day.  It just so happened that my mother knew one of the publicists, and when Mum saw her again, she gushed "It was SO nice of you to invite Shalamar along!  It was her very first business lunch, and she was SO excited!"  Arrrrgh.  She couldn't understand why I got upset with her.

[Venus193]

I actually once knew someone who felt that parenthood included the privilege of embarrassing one's children in such a manner.  I hope he never had any children of his own.

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

Back when I was in high school, the parents' house had a carport with a long driveway and a perpendicular parking strip in front of the house.  I was backing out of the carport when Dad arrived home.  I pulled forward so he could turn in and park on the strip.  He neglected to put his car in park when he got out, and his car rolled backwards and crashed into mine.  This was somehow my fault.  I overheard my mother tell him, "Daffodil should not have been backing out of the driveway"   . 

[Drunken Housewife]

More mindboggling ones from my parents (less depressing than the ones before):

How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki () that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

At my sister's rushed marriage to someone my parents did not approve of:  I was wearing fancy black shoes with a dark blue and green dress.  My mother threw a tantrum and said I would ruin the whole wedding because I was wearing black shoes, said I was forbidden to attend, etc... until one of my cousins managed to find a pair of white flats to loan me.  (Incidentally it was after Labor Day).  Because somehow these scuffed white shoes, which didn't go with my dress at all, were somehow appropriate for a wedding and my pretty black flats would have "ruined your sister's wedding."

In the eighties I was fond of New Wave music.  My parents found this unChristian and somehow thought it was soul-threatening punk music (Blondie and the Cars aren't exactly the Sex Pistols, but they thought it was).  My mother seriously threatened to throw me out of the house if I didn't change my taste in music.  "If you get any more punk, I'm throwing you out.  It's called tough love."  She was very smug about this.   There was no end of criticism over my choice of music.

[lady_disdain]

How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki () that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

I had no idea red and khaki was so offensive. I love this combination, but khaki is really not my colour.

[Elfmama]

At my sister's rushed marriage to someone my parents did not approve of:  I was wearing fancy black shoes with a dark blue and green dress.  My mother threw a tantrum and said I would ruin the whole wedding because I was wearing black shoes, said I was forbidden to attend, etc... until one of my cousins managed to find a pair of white flats to loan me.  (Incidentally it was after Labor Day).  Because somehow these scuffed white shoes, which didn't go with my dress at all, were somehow appropriate for a wedding and my pretty black flats would have "ruined your sister's wedding."

What, didn't you know that the tradition is that ALL wedding guests, throughout the ceremony, must stare in admiration at the bride's sister's shoes? 

[gramma dishes]

What, didn't you know that the tradition is that ALL wedding guests, throughout the ceremony, must stare in admiration at the bride's sister's shoes? 

Actually they might if they were white, ill fitting and scuffed!   

Well, maybe they wouldn't be staring in 'admiration'.

[Piratelvr1121]

How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki () that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

I had no idea red and khaki was so offensive. I love this combination, but khaki is really not my colour.

We better let the good folks at Target know.

Clothes weren't too much of an issue in our house.  I do remember going shopping with my mother and going into a Hot Topic and holding up something that was ever so mildly goth. I can't even remember what it was but it wasn't even leather, I don't think.  She said "Are you trying to shock me?" I put the article of clothing back on the rack with a huff and left the store rather annoyed.  I really hadn't been trying to shock her at all, I actually thought it was cool and might look good on me and was just really irritated with her answer.

Then later when I got back into the broomstick skirts and already had maybe 3, she had asked me to make an Amazon gift list with a few different options so that way I wouldn't know what she'd be getting me from that list.  One was a broomstick skirt.  She said "Don't you have enough broomstick skirts?" I asked innocently "Is there such a thing?" I did end up getting the skirt, so I do have to give her that, but she did not like my wearing them.

Which is kind of funny, since she bought me the first two I ever owned.

[KenveeB]

How I dress was always problematic.  Once I wore a red sweater with a khaki skirt.  I was just out of college and had bought myself these clothes with my meager earnings, and I was pretty proud of the outfit.  My father was so appalled that I wore red with khaki () that he had to tell me off about it at length twice.  Twice. 

I had no idea red and khaki was so offensive. I love this combination, but khaki is really not my colour.

I never wear it, but only because I'm sure to have to stop at Target and will then be mistaken for an employee.

[peachykeen]

When I scratched mosquito bites my Mother said I'd never get a husband with those scars on my legs (I managed to get married twice). Pierced ears were for foreigners or loose women. I wasn't allowed to wear black as a teenager (too old for me).

[StarDrifter]

My mum accused me of lying about how bad my 'morning' sickness was when I was pregnant, until the day that I threw up on her shoes.

But the worst for criticising about stuff that does NOT matter is my maternal grandmother. She will comment on any picture of Baby Wolverine that I post on FB where she is wearing anything that is not PINK. And the day I put her in a blue onesie with a pirate-themed bandana-bib? OH MY STARS AND GARTERS.

I actually got a ranty phone message on my home line after that photo - YOU ARE GOING TO SCAR YOUR DAUGHTER FOR LIFE DRESSING HER IN BLUE! AND THERE'S SKULLS AND CROSSBONES ON THAT BIB! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

Yeah, we just ignore that. Though I will admit that when I go visit Nana I will mostly dress her in pink, just so that I don't have to listen to the 'little girls need to wear girly things' lecture. Heaven help us if Wolvie turns out to be a tomboy - or if Nana finds out that we call her Wolverine...