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Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 264333 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #465 on: September 28, 2013, 09:12:25 PM »
Wonder what your grandmother would've said about my brother dressing me in boy's clothes when I was a toddler.  He couldn't get over the fact I wasn't born male, so he tried to turn me into a boy by dressing me in boy clothes and using his military toys to teach me how to play "war."  It didn't work, and I think he resented me ever since for not being a boy.

I was watching a show about Baden-Powell, founder of Scouting, hero of the Boer War, "manly man" of the early 20th Century. They showed a photo of him as a toddler ... as was apparently the custom at the time, the boy was in a foofy dress with girly curls, indistinguishable from a little girl. I don't know why that was the custom, but he seemed to have grown up without gender issues (even if he was a fairly odd bird as an adult).
They kept little boys in dresses until they were reliably potty-trained.  Easier to access the, er, working bits, you know.  And when a boy graduated to pants, it was a big ceremonial occasion.

I recall similar pictures of boys in paintings from the colonial era as well as the Victorian. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

mbbored

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #466 on: September 28, 2013, 10:24:00 PM »
Wonder what your grandmother would've said about my brother dressing me in boy's clothes when I was a toddler.  He couldn't get over the fact I wasn't born male, so he tried to turn me into a boy by dressing me in boy clothes and using his military toys to teach me how to play "war."  It didn't work, and I think he resented me ever since for not being a boy.

I was watching a show about Baden-Powell, founder of Scouting, hero of the Boer War, "manly man" of the early 20th Century. They showed a photo of him as a toddler ... as was apparently the custom at the time, the boy was in a foofy dress with girly curls, indistinguishable from a little girl. I don't know why that was the custom, but he seemed to have grown up without gender issues (even if he was a fairly odd bird as an adult).
They kept little boys in dresses until they were reliably potty-trained.  Easier to access the, er, working bits, you know.  And when a boy graduated to pants, it was a big ceremonial occasion.

I recall similar pictures of boys in paintings from the colonial era as well as the Victorian.

I have pictures of my grandfather (born 1912) in simple dresses and shoulder length ringlets.

Asharah

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #467 on: September 28, 2013, 10:35:24 PM »
Wonder what your grandmother would've said about my brother dressing me in boy's clothes when I was a toddler.  He couldn't get over the fact I wasn't born male, so he tried to turn me into a boy by dressing me in boy clothes and using his military toys to teach me how to play "war."  It didn't work, and I think he resented me ever since for not being a boy.

I was watching a show about Baden-Powell, founder of Scouting, hero of the Boer War, "manly man" of the early 20th Century. They showed a photo of him as a toddler ... as was apparently the custom at the time, the boy was in a foofy dress with girly curls, indistinguishable from a little girl. I don't know why that was the custom, but he seemed to have grown up without gender issues (even if he was a fairly odd bird as an adult).
They kept little boys in dresses until they were reliably potty-trained.  Easier to access the, er, working bits, you know.  And when a boy graduated to pants, it was a big ceremonial occasion.

I recall similar pictures of boys in paintings from the colonial era as well as the Victorian.

I have pictures of my grandfather (born 1912) in simple dresses and shoulder length ringlets.
http://ww2gravestone.com/sites/default/files/uploads/pink-and-blue-Franklin-Roosevelt.jpg
Franklin Roosevelt as a child
Asharah

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #468 on: September 29, 2013, 06:15:12 AM »
I understand the dress thing for practicality, but ringlets after 1830?  [shakes head]





Cherry91

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #469 on: September 29, 2013, 06:50:38 AM »
My mother would scoff at volunteer work because one doesn't get paid.

She would also criticize me for going to the Met Gift Shop today to meet Placido Domingo.

My mother was the same way.  In fact, as a teenager, I was pretty much forbidden to do volunteer work.  If I wanted to work, then spend the time and effort on a "real" job.  I can imagine what she would have thought of the community service that many high school students must perform in order to graduate.

The problem with this is that, at least where I live, it's practically required to do a voluntary job first, usually in a charity shop, because very few places will hire you with no experience. I was the rare exception to the rule, but many of my friends worked weekends in charity shops for a couple of months between 14 and 16 so they could learn things like working a till, helping stock shelves, etc.
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

Dazi

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #470 on: September 29, 2013, 06:55:44 AM »
My mother would scoff at volunteer work because one doesn't get paid.

She would also criticize me for going to the Met Gift Shop today to meet Placido Domingo.

My mother was the same way.  In fact, as a teenager, I was pretty much forbidden to do volunteer work.  If I wanted to work, then spend the time and effort on a "real" job.  I can imagine what she would have thought of the community service that many high school students must perform in order to graduate.


The problem with this is that, at least where I live, it's practically required to do a voluntary job first, usually in a charity shop, because very few places will hire you with no experience. I was the rare exception to the rule, but many of my friends worked weekends in charity shops for a couple of months between 14 and 16 so they could learn things like working a till, helping stock shelves, etc.

Volunteering was a requirement to graduate high school where I live.  You had to have at least a 100 hours IIRC.  There were a lot of kid scrambling Senior year trying to get those hours in...I had mine done Freshman year.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #471 on: September 29, 2013, 07:08:34 AM »
Same here.  I did my hours all over the place. At church, candy striping, helping out with an adult care program, that kinda thing. I enjoyed it actually. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #472 on: September 29, 2013, 07:17:43 AM »
In my high school years community service as being described here was not required.  We were required to do some volunteer time within the school itself during junior and senior year.  For me that meant being in the Speech Department's office during first period to help grade papers, type, or make copies.





Hmmmmm

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #473 on: September 29, 2013, 07:25:36 AM »
Hugs to all of you who had to deal with so much parental criticism. The stories are making me sad.

But wondering if I'm the only parent reading these fearing I'll recognize myself in these stories.

mechtilde

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #474 on: September 29, 2013, 07:34:12 AM »
They kept little boys in dresses until they were reliably potty-trained.  Easier to access the, er, working bits, you know.  And when a boy graduated to pants, it was a big ceremonial occasion.
Quote

Snipped the quote tree.

I wonder how long that went on for? I still have my Grandad's ayrshire whitework dress, and he was born in 1914.

As for odd criticisms- my mother never likes to see me in lilac or any sort of pale purple. She doesn't get why I like chunky jewelry either, and thinks it should be small and delicate. Which looks great on her- she's very petite, but not so good on plus sized me- you wouldn't even notice I was wearing anything!
NE England

Venus193

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #475 on: September 29, 2013, 07:40:03 AM »
My mother would probably hate my jewelry designs, but I say that what's the point of jewelry people don't notice?





mbbored

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #476 on: September 29, 2013, 11:42:40 AM »
I understand the dress thing for practicality, but ringlets after 1830?  [shakes head]

My grandfather came from a very wealthy and fashionable NYC family, so clearly they were still in style in the 1910s.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #477 on: September 29, 2013, 02:27:10 PM »
Hugs to all of you who had to deal with so much parental criticism. The stories are making me sad.

But wondering if I'm the only parent reading these fearing I'll recognize myself in these stories.

I admit it makes me wonder just what my kids might someday say about me. I know I'm not perfect either, but I take some comfort in the fact that they all still want hugs and kisses from me and come to me with their problems.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Library Dragon

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #478 on: September 29, 2013, 02:32:53 PM »
Hugs to all of you who had to deal with so much parental criticism. The stories are making me sad.

But wondering if I'm the only parent reading these fearing I'll recognize myself in these stories.

I admit it makes me wonder just what my kids might someday say about me. I know I'm not perfect either, but I take some comfort in the fact that they all still want hugs and kisses from me and come to me with their problems.

BC (Before Children) my goal was that my offspring not have to go to therapy.  Now I joke that I'll be happy if it's only a year or two.  My DSs find that funny.  DS1 assures me he's only needed a session or two.  ???  ;)

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TootsNYC

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #479 on: September 29, 2013, 02:50:31 PM »
Hugs to all of you who had to deal with so much parental criticism. The stories are making me sad.

But wondering if I'm the only parent reading these fearing I'll recognize myself in these stories.

I admit it makes me wonder just what my kids might someday say about me. I know I'm not perfect either, but I take some comfort in the fact that they all still want hugs and kisses from me and come to me with their problems.

Yeah, I worry a little too.

I've been trying to think of criticisms from my folks, and other than my dad crabbing about not emptying a suitcase when I came home from a trip, I can't really think of any.

I can vaguely remember having been criticized FAIRLY.

So I'm hoping that I'll have been shaped by my parents, and my kids won't really think that I criticize them much.