Author Topic: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about  (Read 74406 times)

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Kate

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #660 on: October 07, 2013, 07:45:39 PM »
My mom didn't like long hair on us, her daughters. What did she like? Perms. Not spiral perms, tight and poodle like perms.

So once a month or so, operation perming would commence. Thank God that my hair sheds perms within a few days. Poodle hair is not for me.
My mom had a thing about long hair too as if girls with long hair were low class or something..never quite understood that one......my hair was always cut in a short dutch bob ....with crooked bangs :(
 I would cry and beg to grow my hair long like my cousins...I envied their braids LOL When I became a teen I grew my hair out and wore it long for years. Mom would occasionally remark that I would look better with short hair...she was probably right, but long hair was the style in the 70s.

TootsNYC

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #661 on: October 07, 2013, 07:51:16 PM »
On the topic of cutting long hair:  about 20 years ago I cut my hair into a bob that was just above my shoulders.  I thought it looked cute, and so did my husband (that's what he said, anyway).  You wouldn't believe the number of people who asked me "But what does (Husband) think of it?  What did he say?  Was he mad?"  Bewildered, I said "Why on earth should he be mad?  It's MY hair." 


Its because a lot of men seem to prefer long hair and short hair is supposed to be unfeminine and your husband will be turned off if you cut your hair ::)...I've noticed that many men don't have a clue that long hair doesn't look good on everyone.

When I went from shoulder length to ear length, I got that too. Meanwhile, DH is nibbling on my neck all the dingdangity time...

PastryGoddess

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #662 on: October 07, 2013, 08:01:04 PM »
On the topic of cutting long hair:  about 20 years ago I cut my hair into a bob that was just above my shoulders.  I thought it looked cute, and so did my husband (that's what he said, anyway).  You wouldn't believe the number of people who asked me "But what does (Husband) think of it?  What did he say?  Was he mad?"  Bewildered, I said "Why on earth should he be mad?  It's MY hair." 


Its because a lot of men seem to prefer long hair and short hair is supposed to be unfeminine and your husband will be turned off if you cut your hair ::)...I've noticed that many men don't have a clue that long hair doesn't look good on everyone.

When I went from shoulder length to ear length, I got that too. Meanwhile, DH is nibbling on my neck all the dingdangity time...

You poor poor thing :D
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kherbert05

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #663 on: October 07, 2013, 08:03:46 PM »
You know, I have to say that these forums have been very valuable to me (well, probably particularly my kids) in a way!  I'm a person who runs cold, and I know that.  So I'd probably have realized that the kids might not need to be dressed as warmly as I like to.  But because of all these stories about parents making kids wear warmer or cooler clothes than they're comfortable with, I've tried to be careful with not dictating what level of warmth the kids need to dress to, as long as they have options.  My 3-year-old will wear shorts and t-shirts on 50 degree days.  But she doesn't complain about being cold, so I'm guessing she's not!  Or maybe bouncing off the walls is enough to keep her warm.  :)
Good for you. I run hot to begin with. With Houston winters I need a light jacket (Can't stand sweaters) maybe 5 days a year - if I'm going to be outside for more than 10  - 15 minutes.  For get out the the car go into store, leave store go to car - I don't need anything unless it is raining.


Two tricks Mom used for busybodies (and sometimes teachers/parents of friends)
1. Oh it is ok she runs hot
2. I have (jeans/jacket) in the car if she gets cold


A third one she used was kind of specific to me - She'll break out in welts/hives from overheating if she puts on a Jacket in this weather.
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Dindrane

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #664 on: October 07, 2013, 10:40:01 PM »
When I'm at home, I often prefer wrapping up in a blanket to wearing a sweater. For whatever reason, it feels warmer (or at least more snuggly), and it means I have a convenient spot to stick my hands when I'm cold. It does mean I occasionally have to get up to get things with the blanket wrapped around my shoulders like a cape, but I can roll with it.

My dad, on the other hand, is not okay with that. I'd be sitting at the computer with a throw blanket wrapped around my shoulders, or walking somewhere with the blanket not touching the ground, and he'd get annoyed with me and tell me to put on a sweater. I still don't know why it bothered him so much.

My dad always hated when we wandered around with blanket-capes too. I think he might have been worried we'd damage the blanket? Or just didn't like the way it looked? I don't know. I like it too, though, and I now have an item that splits the difference--it's a giant fuzzy hideous knee-length shawl. I'd probably have hopped on the Snuggie train if I hadn't already had this. It's perfect--and since my dog chewed a hole in it years ago, it also has a perfect arm hole to clutch my coffee through.

I wonder if those dads are projecting: the cumbersome-ness of the blanket would annoy him. So it annoys him when he sees it on  you.

And, I might object because people w/ blankets on might be more likely to knock stuff over.

I always figured it was the projecting more than anything else. I sort of clutch the blanket around me when I have to get up, so it's not swinging around hitting things or dragging on the floor. And if I have to do something seriously complex (i.e. anything in the kitchen or anything that requires significant arm motion), I usually put the blanket down or just leave it wherever I was sitting.

It was just always odd to me that my dad would complain without giving me any real reason (even when I asked). Especially since the entire reason I was wearing blankets around was because he likes to keep the house relatively cool in the winter (a notion I fully support...as long as I get to wrap up in a blanket when I want to).


cabbagegirl28

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #665 on: October 07, 2013, 11:25:00 PM »
You know, I have to say that these forums have been very valuable to me (well, probably particularly my kids) in a way!  I'm a person who runs cold, and I know that.  So I'd probably have realized that the kids might not need to be dressed as warmly as I like to.  But because of all these stories about parents making kids wear warmer or cooler clothes than they're comfortable with, I've tried to be careful with not dictating what level of warmth the kids need to dress to, as long as they have options.  My 3-year-old will wear shorts and t-shirts on 50 degree days.  But she doesn't complain about being cold, so I'm guessing she's not!  Or maybe bouncing off the walls is enough to keep her warm.  :)
Good for you. I run hot to begin with. With Houston winters I need a light jacket (Can't stand sweaters) maybe 5 days a year - if I'm going to be outside for more than 10  - 15 minutes.  For get out the the car go into store, leave store go to car - I don't need anything unless it is raining.


Two tricks Mom used for busybodies (and sometimes teachers/parents of friends)
1. Oh it is ok she runs hot
2. I have (jeans/jacket) in the car if she gets cold


A third one she used was kind of specific to me - She'll break out in welts/hives from overheating if she puts on a Jacket in this weather.

You too? I thought I was the only one! Not sure whether to  :D or  :(


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Emmy

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #666 on: October 09, 2013, 12:14:46 AM »
On the topic of cutting long hair:  about 20 years ago I cut my hair into a bob that was just above my shoulders.  I thought it looked cute, and so did my husband (that's what he said, anyway).  You wouldn't believe the number of people who asked me "But what does (Husband) think of it?  What did he say?  Was he mad?"  Bewildered, I said "Why on earth should he be mad?  It's MY hair." 


Its because a lot of men seem to prefer long hair and short hair is supposed to be unfeminine and your husband will be turned off if you cut your hair ::)...I've noticed that many men don't have a clue that long hair doesn't look good on everyone.

That's true, not everyone can have full flowing locks.  I have fine hair and a lot of it.  When my hair is long, it won't hold a style and just looks limp.  I also refuse to revolve my life around doing my hair.  Long does not always equal pretty.  Gladly for me, my DH isn't a fan of long hair.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #667 on: October 09, 2013, 06:53:15 AM »
My mother criticized me once for discussing our finances with my oldest child.  Mind you, it wasn't like I was showing him our budget, telling him how much his father and I make, or discussing any debt with him.  All I had said was something to the effect of "We're not wealthy enough to be buying you boys a brand new computer just for you to play on."

According to my mother (and I don't believe she found this out the way she claims she did) the teacher called her concerned that DH and I are struggling for money because pirateboy1 told her "My parents can't afford to buy us a computer."  Is it just me or does that sound suspicious?  ???   Substitute "new clothes, food, shelter, etc." and I could see a fine reason for a call home...to the parents.  When I questioned as to why I wasn't called, my mom said "Well she tried to call you, but she couldn't get ahold of you."  I had a cell phone, and there was no record of missed calls from the school, or what might be the teacher's private number, and no messages left. 

Anyway, after explaining just what I told the child, I was told "Well you shouldn't be discussing finances at ALL with your child."


Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

violinp

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #668 on: October 09, 2013, 08:51:59 AM »
My mother criticized me once for discussing our finances with my oldest child.  Mind you, it wasn't like I was showing him our budget, telling him how much his father and I make, or discussing any debt with him.  All I had said was something to the effect of "We're not wealthy enough to be buying you boys a brand new computer just for you to play on."

According to my mother (and I don't believe she found this out the way she claims she did) the teacher called her concerned that DH and I are struggling for money because pirateboy1 told her "My parents can't afford to buy us a computer."  Is it just me or does that sound suspicious?  ???   Substitute "new clothes, food, shelter, etc." and I could see a fine reason for a call home...to the parents.  When I questioned as to why I wasn't called, my mom said "Well she tried to call you, but she couldn't get ahold of you."  I had a cell phone, and there was no record of missed calls from the school, or what might be the teacher's private number, and no messages left. 

Anyway, after explaining just what I told the child, I was told "Well you shouldn't be discussing finances at ALL with your child."

My parents had no problem saying, "We can't afford that" to Cabbage and me. I personally think it would be asinine to not be able to tell your kids whether something is affordable or not. Of course, deep discussions of the budget would be out of order, but grounding kids in reality is never a bad idea.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


RebeccainGA

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #669 on: October 09, 2013, 09:07:46 AM »
I grew up in a house where I knew my parents financial situation to the penny, on a nearly daily basis, after the age of twelve (I did all the grocery shopping for them, mom driving me, and later even paid their bills and such). Not because they couldn't (adults, healthy mentally and physically) but because it was HAAAAAAARD and they knew I was good at math. It took me moving to another state before I wasn't that involved. THAT is unhealthy.

Knowing your parents can't just drop 2K on a cool gaming computer on a whim? That's normal!

ladyknight1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #670 on: October 09, 2013, 09:38:02 AM »
My mother criticized me once for discussing our finances with my oldest child.  Mind you, it wasn't like I was showing him our budget, telling him how much his father and I make, or discussing any debt with him.  All I had said was something to the effect of "We're not wealthy enough to be buying you boys a brand new computer just for you to play on."

According to my mother (and I don't believe she found this out the way she claims she did) the teacher called her concerned that DH and I are struggling for money because pirateboy1 told her "My parents can't afford to buy us a computer."  Is it just me or does that sound suspicious?  ???   Substitute "new clothes, food, shelter, etc." and I could see a fine reason for a call home...to the parents.  When I questioned as to why I wasn't called, my mom said "Well she tried to call you, but she couldn't get ahold of you."  I had a cell phone, and there was no record of missed calls from the school, or what might be the teacher's private number, and no messages left. 

Anyway, after explaining just what I told the child, I was told "Well you shouldn't be discussing finances at ALL with your child."

My parents had no problem saying, "We can't afford that" to Cabbage and me. I personally think it would be asinine to not be able to tell your kids whether something is affordable or not. Of course, deep discussions of the budget would be out of order, but grounding kids in reality is never a bad idea.

We have a family meeting once a month to talk about how much we have saved, any big plans coming up, etc. That way DS knows our basic budget without being plagued with the nitty gritty details. He has an allowance, gets lunch money, and works a summer and occasional weekend job that he is paid for, so he is learning to budget for himself.

I grew up in the household where there was no budget, things frequently got cut off for non-payment and we had government supplied food frequently. This was due to poor decisions and financial planning, and we were never taught how to manage money. My parents don't like that I share information with DS, but I do not care.

Thipu1

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #671 on: October 09, 2013, 09:49:56 AM »
It's both healthy and wise to share financial information with your children.  They don't need to know where every penny comes from and goes but, by about the age of ten, they should know the general family situation. 

Most schools don't teach children how to handle bank accounts and credit cards.  They don't so the family has to do it. 

Shalamar

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #672 on: October 09, 2013, 11:15:02 AM »
This is somewhat timely, because a co-worker friend of mine recently had this conversation with her 15-year-old daughter:

Daughter:  Today we learned about Haiti in school.  Boy, there's a lot of poverty there - I can relate.
Co-worker:  What do you mean, you can relate?
Daughter:  Well, WE'RE poor.
Co-worker:  What?  No, we're not! 

She has no idea why her daughter thinks they're "poor", and even if they were, comparing their situation with people in Haiti is incredible. 

(For the record, my friend works in I.T. and earns a very good salary.  Her husband is well-paid, too.)

She's thinking it's time for a frank talk about finances.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #673 on: October 09, 2013, 11:15:34 AM »
I always knew mine and my mom's budget. I mean, not at like 5, but once I was around 11 I did. Heck when I was a teenager I handled all our grocery shopping and was often put in charge of paying bills. Not because my mom couldn't, but she worked full time and went to school and often picked up an extra job or extra shifts so we could make it, so she didn't have time to grocery shop or sit down and pay the bills. I also handled our laundry, made us dinners, and after seeing what she spent eating in her work cafeteria every day, started making her lunches. But our family dynamic was different then the average families, it was just the two of us, she had to rely on me to handle some adult things or she would've gone batty. And I liked it, I felt very grown up with my coupons and grocery list (as an adult I feel less grown up with my grocery list and can never remember the dang coupons). And I'll say this, I was much more prepared for adulthood then my friends were. I had to sit most of them down and go "Ok, so this is a budget"....and credit cards are not part of your budget.

However I think "No, we can't afford that", is a pretty basic standard thing most parents say to kids. "Mom, I want a iPad!", "No", "But why not?", "Because we can't afford an iPad", "But I want one!", "We still can't afford it", seems like a reasonable answer to me.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Ridiculous things your parents criticize you about
« Reply #674 on: October 09, 2013, 11:58:01 AM »
Reminds me of something Bill Huxtable said.  Vanessa (I think) said something about being rich.  He said "Your mother and I are rich. You have nothing."

I once griped to my dh that my folks seemed to have double standards as to their reasons for why I couldn't have something but then they'd turn around and give it to my brother.  For example, I couldn't have a bunk bed because I didn't share a room so there was no need for one.  Then they bought one for my brother.  There were two of us, of different genders and thus our own rooms.  He had no need to share a room either and no more need for bunk beds than I did.

DH said "Well maybe they couldn't afford it when you asked, but they could when he did." Which is possible, but if that was the case, it's a fine example of where it would be better to be honest since the reason they gave made it look like favoritism.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata