General Etiquette > Family and Children

Sleepover reciprocity help, please

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CakeBeret:
My cousin Beth and I have 3-year-olds who are very close in age. In the past we have traded overnight babysitting duties. If Beth needs a night out she just asks me to watch Mike, and vice versa. I'm really grateful that we have this arrangement and that the kids can have that time together. However, having Beth's little boy Mike overnight is stressful for me. Beth has a different parenting style than I do and sometimes I have a difficult time getting Mike to follow our house rules. Additionally, Mike doesn't sleep terribly well away from home and it sometimes takes me two hours or more to soothe him to sleep.

It's really not a big deal since the overnights are infrequent. I know Beth and her husband really enjoy the chance to have a night out, and I do tend to downplay how difficult it is to get Mike to sleep because I don't want Beth to feel guilty or anxious.

Beth recently mentioned that as the kids are getting older, she wants them to be able to spend more time together. Therefore she wants my DS to have a sleepover at her house once a month. This is a lovely offer on Beth's part and no doubt the boys will enjoy it immensely. However, I'm not sure how much reciprocation I'm responsible for. To be honest, I don't have the stamina to host once-a-month sleepovers at my house as well.

Do I need to reciprocate every sleepover? If not, how often should I offer to host?

AmethystAnne:
Are the sleepovers during the weekend?

CakeBeret:

--- Quote from: AmethystAnne on September 03, 2013, 12:39:21 PM ---Are the sleepovers during the weekend?

--- End quote ---

Yes, they are usually on Saturday nights.

AmethystAnne:
Reciprocity is nice, but once a month to have your child at someone's house, and have the other child at your house another-once-a-month? It would be too much for me, to have half the Saturdays in a month taken up with a disruption in the family life. And especially, with a 3 year who is hard to put to bed.

I think that your family hosting the sleepover Sept, Nov, Jan., etc. and the other family hosting the sleepover Oct., Dec., Feb., etc would be way better.

MorgnsGrl:

--- Quote from: AmethystAnne on September 03, 2013, 12:49:55 PM ---Reciprocity is nice, but once a month to have your child at someone's house, and have the other child at your house another-once-a-month? It would be too much for me, to have half the Saturdays in a month taken up with a disruption in the family life. And especially, with a 3 year who is hard to put to bed.

I think that your family hosting the sleepover Sept, Nov, Jan., etc. and the other family hosting the sleepover Oct., Dec., Feb., etc would be way better.

--- End quote ---

I think this sounds reasonable. It's good to start out slow with these things and see how the kids do, too.

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