Hope this is in the right spot..
DH has been best friends with Jay since high school, and we both are very close with his family, especially Jay's mom, Dina. Jay has been married to Cate for 8 years, and they all live together in a three flat, along with Jay's brother and sil. All parties are held in Jay's mom's part of the three flat. End of background.
Every single party we attend, Cate does absolutely nothing to help her mil. She does not help put food out, clear dishes, absolutely nothing. She just sits there while Dina runs herself ragged. Now, Jay himself helps his mom by washing dishes, etc. Also, DH and I always help her too, because we are close to her.
In my family, it is unthinkable to not at the very least offer to assist the hostess, so Cate not offering to assist her mil in any way is very strange to me.
So, is Cate wrong for never helping ? Or, am I the one who is way off on this?