Author Topic: Cell Phone Ban  (Read 10951 times)

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Texas Mom

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Cell Phone Ban
« on: September 03, 2013, 09:37:27 PM »
Is there a polite way to communicate this to one's guests?

The hosts will provide a contact number that can be called in the event of an emergency (like in the "old days" before cell phones).

I've been to three events in the last two months where cell phone photographers and social networkers were a major nuisance.

A friend's DD is getting married next summer & asked her group of friends to help her brainstorm the proper way to communicate and enforce the ban.  I'm bringing the issue to the smartest group of etiquette people I know!

 :)

katycoo

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2013, 09:59:28 PM »
What, exactly, are you wanting to ban?  Total use of cell phones all night, or people posting photos on social media?

Shoo

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2013, 11:31:54 PM »
As someone's guest, I would not be happy to be told my cell phone was "banned."  I am an adult and can decide for myself when and where my cell phone shall be used.  If you don't want pictures being taken of the ceremony, that is your prerogative.  I think you can ask your officiant to state that at the beginning of the ceremony.  I think you can also ask that no photos be posted to social media.  But beyond that, no, I don't think you can do it.

MsMarjorie

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2013, 11:48:04 PM »
I think its something that should be asked "face to face" rather than in a note, where the tone and intent will be harder to decipher.  Perhaps the hosts could call people and say "we're trying to make this a social network free zone, do you mind leaving your phone in your purse/pocket?". 

It might be a bit much to ask people to not bring them at all, but if you could just get them to limit the phones to their bags it might be an easier ask.

FoxPaws

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2013, 03:39:17 AM »
Delusions of grandeur? The only people I have ever heard of banning phones were celebrities who had million dollar contracts with the tabloids for exclusive photos of their events. And I still think that's tacky, entitled behavior.

A host (or their representatives) may certainly ask that phones be turned off during the ceremony, no pictures or video be taken, or that pictures not be posted before the happy couple have a chance to do it themselves, but I'll be darned if I'm going to count on someone being able to find me in the crowd if there's an emergency at home or hunt down whoever has charge of THE phone when I need to check in with the sitter.

Your friend needs a reality check.
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sammycat

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2013, 06:36:18 AM »
Delusions of grandeur? The only people I have ever heard of banning phones were celebrities who had million dollar contracts with the tabloids for exclusive photos of their events. And I still think that's tacky, entitled behavior.

A host (or their representatives) may certainly ask that phones be turned off during the ceremony, no pictures or video be taken, or that pictures not be posted before the happy couple have a chance to do it themselves, but I'll be darned if I'm going to count on someone being able to find me in the crowd if there's an emergency at home or hunt down whoever has charge of THE phone when I need to check in with the sitter.

Your friend needs a reality check.

I agree with all of this.

The host/s can certainly ask that no one takes photos of the bridal couple/main guest, but I retain full rights to take photos of or with other guests present (provided those being photogaphed consent of course).

So if cousin Betty requests no photos of her and her new DH at their wedding, that's fine, but if great aunt Maude and I want a photo together, taken with my phone, we're going to take it.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2013, 06:50:04 AM by sammycat »

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2013, 07:26:44 AM »
I can't think of an easy way to put it either, especially if there are any guests who might have left small children with a sitter and would need to be reached, or something, and at a wedding it would be hard to track down a host to get your phone.  But I can see how the use of phones for picture taking and using social media would be distracting.
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2013, 07:42:13 AM »
Texas Mom, can you provide more detail on what you are suggesting be banned? I don't think you can request guests leave their cell phones at home, but I do think you and try to address specific actions.

I've been to 2 weddings recently where the officiant requested that no photos or videos be taken during the ceremony and requested all cell phones be put away unless an emergency and if one occurs to please exit the sanctuary.

BigBadBetty

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2013, 07:58:06 AM »
As someone's guest, I would not be happy to be told my cell phone was "banned."  I am an adult and can decide for myself when and where my cell phone shall be used.  If you don't want pictures being taken of the ceremony, that is your prerogative.  I think you can ask your officiant to state that at the beginning of the ceremony.  I think you can also ask that no photos be posted to social media.  But beyond that, no, I don't think you can do it.

I like this. I also don't think you should be able to control whether photos not containing the bride and groom are posted to social media. I get to see relatives that I never normally see at weddings and funerals. I also think the worst way to express your desire is to make a cheesy poem.

MindsEye

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2013, 08:07:21 AM »
I can sympathize with the desire to ban cell phones.  I was at a wedding this summer, and was saddened to see how many of the guests had their heads down over their cell phones during the ceremony, the dinner, the dancing... and that they seemed more interested in texting, twitter, facebook, and instagram then they were in the event that they were actually at!   :-\  I felt really bad for the bride and groom and their parents.

I am not sure that there is any way you can prevent your guests from paying more attention to their phones then to the wedding, short of getting some jammers to plant around in the ceremony and reception sites.

Venus193

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2013, 08:13:46 AM »
I can sympathize with the desire to ban cell phones.  I was at a wedding this summer, and was saddened to see how many of the guests had their heads down over their cell phones during the ceremony, the dinner, the dancing... and that they seemed more interested in texting, twitter, facebook, and instagram then they were in the event that they were actually at!   :-\  I felt really bad for the bride and groom and their parents.

I am not sure that there is any way you can prevent your guests from paying more attention to their phones then to the wedding, short of getting some jammers to plant around in the ceremony and reception sites.

I have to say that it really ticks me off to attend a social event only to see people paying more attention to their cell phones than to the other guests.  If you're a doctor or a relative of a seriously ill patient I can see having a cell phone with you, but parents left kids with sitters long before cell phones existed and the world didn't come to an end.

Sharnita

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2013, 08:40:12 AM »
I think that if you expect that of people for the enyire event you need to make it clear in the invite so they are clear on what they have to.

dawbs

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2013, 08:51:40 AM »
IMO, it would be unspeakably rude to essentially tell guests "we don't trust you to behave like adults so we're going to ban your phone usage".

I can understand the irritation with phones, but, really, requests can be politely made, orders cannot be politely given.

(and there have been times in the last few years where a contact number wouldn't have cut it--I was the contact person for 2 relatives in hospice care, i was the 'emergency contact' for family that was travelling in a relatively risky overseas location, etc--and the important people knew I was reachable 24-7 for these purposes.  Contact everyone and saying "oh, everyone please know that next Saturday between 8 am and 2 pm, you should reach me at this number instead" would have been an hassle of epic proportions. 
People handled these things before cell phones but, honestly, I've currently planned my life around having the phone on and available--I'd have done my planning differently if the phone wasn't available.)



lowspark

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2013, 09:10:18 AM »
Since she is proposing providing a "contact number" then I assume she's going to send this request out in advance? Like in the invitation? Yeah, I think that's not going to work. It's either going to put people off or get totally ignored. I can guarantee there will be people at the ceremony with cell phones regardless of how she puts it.

Texas Mom, can you provide more detail on what you are suggesting be banned? I don't think you can request guests leave their cell phones at home, but I do think you and try to address specific actions.

I've been to 2 weddings recently where the officiant requested that no photos or videos be taken during the ceremony and requested all cell phones be put away unless an emergency and if one occurs to please exit the sanctuary.

This is what your friend needs to do. Just have the officiant make a polite statement before the ceremony begins. Cell phones are ubiquitous and there's simply no going back to the "old days" at this point.

Redsoil

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2013, 09:56:35 AM »
I think it's terribly sad that we simply have to accept the proliferation of smartphone usage, to the exclusion of all else.

My way of thinking is:  if you're at an event, or in a social situation where it would be considered rude to suddenly whip out a book and start reading, then it's ALSO rude to play on your phone.  And you kids get off my lawn!
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