Author Topic: Cell Phone Ban  (Read 7301 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Texas Mom

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3761
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #30 on: September 04, 2013, 12:06:27 PM »
The quotes below pretty much sum up the reasons the MOB is entertaining a phone ban:

I can sympathize with the desire to ban cell phones.  I was at a wedding this summer, and was saddened to see how many of the guests had their heads down over their cell phones during the ceremony, the dinner, the dancing... and that they seemed more interested in texting, twitter, facebook, and instagram then they were in the event that they were actually at!   :-\  I felt really bad for the bride and groom and their parents.


I have to say that it really ticks me off to attend a social event only to see people paying more attention to their cell phones than to the other guests.  If you're a doctor or a relative of a seriously ill patient I can see having a cell phone with you, but parents left kids with sitters long before cell phones existed and the world didn't come to an end.


Really, I think people place way, way too much importance on their "need" for their cell phones and not enough on real human interactions. No one should have to be told to not use a cell phone at a social event; they should know it to begin with. But, since they don't, I don't see any reason that the word shouldn't be put out that the wedding and reception are a cell-phone free event and that no photos be taken by guests. If one must have a picture of great-aunt Marjorie, then I see no reason why they cannot wait until afterward (or before) to do it. They don't need to take the picture during the actual event. It's just not that difficult.

She doesn't belong to this forum but wants to read everyone's comments when she comes over next time.

Thanks for the input - keep it coming!

auntmeegs

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3062
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #31 on: September 04, 2013, 12:20:08 PM »
The quotes below pretty much sum up the reasons the MOB is entertaining a phone ban:

I can sympathize with the desire to ban cell phones.  I was at a wedding this summer, and was saddened to see how many of the guests had their heads down over their cell phones during the ceremony, the dinner, the dancing... and that they seemed more interested in texting, twitter, facebook, and instagram then they were in the event that they were actually at!   :-\  I felt really bad for the bride and groom and their parents.


I have to say that it really ticks me off to attend a social event only to see people paying more attention to their cell phones than to the other guests.  If you're a doctor or a relative of a seriously ill patient I can see having a cell phone with you, but parents left kids with sitters long before cell phones existed and the world didn't come to an end.


Really, I think people place way, way too much importance on their "need" for their cell phones and not enough on real human interactions. No one should have to be told to not use a cell phone at a social event; they should know it to begin with. But, since they don't, I don't see any reason that the word shouldn't be put out that the wedding and reception are a cell-phone free event and that no photos be taken by guests. If one must have a picture of great-aunt Marjorie, then I see no reason why they cannot wait until afterward (or before) to do it. They don't need to take the picture during the actual event. It's just not that difficult.

She doesn't belong to this forum but wants to read everyone's comments when she comes over next time.

Thanks for the input - keep it coming!

Though I agree with them that its sad these things happen and would not want them to happen at my wedding, IMO you still cannot tell guests that they can't have their cell phones.  It's just not appropriate. 
I also definitely don't think you can tell people they are not allowed to take any picturest at all. You can ask that they don't take any pictures of the happy couple or wedding party, but that's really about it.  For example if someone said I could not take a picture of me and my DH, I would probably laugh at them.

CakeBeret

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4212
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #32 on: September 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM »
I can absolutely understand the desire to ban cell phones at your wedding. Nobody wants to hear badly-rendered Bohemian Rhapsody interrupting the most important moments of their life. Nobody wants to look out at their friends and family who have been invited to share in their special moment and see 25% of them paying more attention to their phone than the ceremony.

But, in practice it's rude. It's saying "I don't trust you to behave civilly so I'm going to impose rules on you as if you were a child."

You can ask the officiant to give a polite reminder to silence cell phones and refrain from taking photos. You could even put a sign in the entryway asking people to please make sure their phones are silenced. Some people (cough, my husband, cough) will NEVER remember to silence their phones unless someone reminds them.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

MindsEye

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1015
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #33 on: September 04, 2013, 12:31:35 PM »
An option, of course, is to have the ceremony/reception someplace that gets no reception. 

While that won't prevent people from playing angry birds or taking photos with their phones, it will put a stop to texting, twittering, facebooking and anything else that requires a signal. 

Many parks and rural areas don't have very good cellular coverage. 
And a lot of older churches (maybe because of the thick stone walls?) are dead zones as well.

Just a thought...

Kaypeep

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2237
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #34 on: September 04, 2013, 12:45:48 PM »
I don't think you can ban phones, but I think that you can ask that they not use them to take photos.  Here's a great blog that explains how guests can ruin the photos at weddings.  I'd be fine with setting up opportunities later for then to take photos, but request they leave the ceremony and special moments  like parent/couple dances to the (paid) professionals.

http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

As for the MOB who feels the phone zombies will pay more attention to their phones than to the event, well, that can't really be helped.  Some people will want the phone to share their own pics of their kids or whatever, so they will likely pull them out to show other guests things.  I'd try not to focus on the phone users and instead pay more attention to the guests who are fully engaged in the day.

QueenfaninCA

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 644
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #35 on: September 04, 2013, 12:55:48 PM »
The quotes below pretty much sum up the reasons the MOB is entertaining a phone ban:
Really, I think people place way, way too much importance on their "need" for their cell phones and not enough on real human interactions. No one should have to be told to not use a cell phone at a social event; they should know it to begin with. But, since they don't, I don't see any reason that the word shouldn't be put out that the wedding and reception are a cell-phone free event and that no photos be taken by guests. If one must have a picture of great-aunt Marjorie, then I see no reason why they cannot wait until afterward (or before) to do it. They don't need to take the picture during the actual event. It's just not that difficult.

I think expecting no pictures are taken even during the reception is deluded. If you ban cell phones, people will bring regular cameras.

It's totally fine to ask no pictures being taken during the ceremony (we had it in the program and the clergy-person announced it at the beginning of the service to please only take pictures during the processional, the recessional and right after we exchange rings. Yes, we paid a professional photographer to pretty much just hang out during a two hour catholic bridal mass.

But I really think you can't expect people to not take any pictures during the reception. People took pictures during weddings well before the advent of cell phones. And they might want to have some pictures even of the bride and groom to remember the event. Or will the bride and groom give pictures of themselves from the wedding to all wedding guests?

When my cousin got married my husband (then fiance) snapped a picture of myself with the bride and groom. Only people who have seen my photo album (pre-digital) have seen the picture, but it is a great way for me to remember the event.

Zizi-K

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 486
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #36 on: September 04, 2013, 02:04:24 PM »
I completely understand (and agree with) the request that cell phones be silenced and put away during the ceremony. But as far as "no picture" taking... I don't get that. People have been taking their own snapshots at weddings since forever. I remember people having their own cameras and shooting photos at my wedding way back in 1980!

I can see requesting "no flash photography" or "please don't post pix on social media" but "don't take any pictures" is going to go over like a lead balloon.

I used to agree with you, until I saw this (covers both smartphones and "guest" photographers):
http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

Judah

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4769
  • California, U.S.A
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #37 on: September 04, 2013, 02:54:02 PM »
I completely understand (and agree with) the request that cell phones be silenced and put away during the ceremony. But as far as "no picture" taking... I don't get that. People have been taking their own snapshots at weddings since forever. I remember people having their own cameras and shooting photos at my wedding way back in 1980!

I can see requesting "no flash photography" or "please don't post pix on social media" but "don't take any pictures" is going to go over like a lead balloon.

I used to agree with you, until I saw this (covers both smartphones and "guest" photographers):
http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

Nothing in that blog post contradicts what lowspark said. Getting in the way of the photographer would be rude, and posting pictures on Facebook when you've been asked not to would be rude, but taking snapshots for yourself or to share with the happy couple later should not be a problem.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

-The Car Talk Guys

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5258
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #38 on: September 04, 2013, 04:32:06 PM »
I understand the desire to not have interruptions or distractions, however the ban would have me declining the invitation. A request to silence all electronic devices and to step out in case of an emergency before the ceremony starts is much preferred.

I would have to say I see far more people checking in on the professional sports game on their phones during weddings and other ceremonies than playing a game or checking social media. I consider both rude.

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16393
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #39 on: September 04, 2013, 04:35:38 PM »
I completely understand (and agree with) the request that cell phones be silenced and put away during the ceremony. But as far as "no picture" taking... I don't get that. People have been taking their own snapshots at weddings since forever. I remember people having their own cameras and shooting photos at my wedding way back in 1980!

I can see requesting "no flash photography" or "please don't post pix on social media" but "don't take any pictures" is going to go over like a lead balloon.

I used to agree with you, until I saw this (covers both smartphones and "guest" photographers):
http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

Something about this really bugs me.  I think it's the idea that not only can the B&G request your presence at their marriage ceremony, they can also tell you how you should be "taking it in."  You need to give them your undivided, focused attention.  Really get in the moment with them.  Because, you know, you can't just sit there and watch passively.  You have to really get into it. 

That makes me go blech.

sweetonsno

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1255
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #40 on: September 04, 2013, 04:54:26 PM »
I completely understand (and agree with) the request that cell phones be silenced and put away during the ceremony. But as far as "no picture" taking... I don't get that. People have been taking their own snapshots at weddings since forever. I remember people having their own cameras and shooting photos at my wedding way back in 1980!

I can see requesting "no flash photography" or "please don't post pix on social media" but "don't take any pictures" is going to go over like a lead balloon.

I used to agree with you, until I saw this (covers both smartphones and "guest" photographers):
http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

Something about this really bugs me. I think it's the idea that not only can the B&G request your presence at their marriage ceremony, they can also tell you how you should be "taking it in."  You need to give them your undivided, focused attention.  Really get in the moment with them.  Because, you know, you can't just sit there and watch passively.  You have to really get into it. 

That makes me go blech.

I totally agree with this. It seems very self-centered. I can totally get behind asking people to refrain from behaviors that will distract other guests (and the hosts). No flash photography? Sure. Stay in your seat? Yes. Silence your device? Yup. Don't bring anything that might distract YOU from being fully engaged 100% of the time? Nope. Yes, a marriage is a major life event and is likely the biggest, most important thing to happen to the HC in that year. However, it's unreasonable to expect your guests to consider it that important themselves.

If I saw this sort of sentiment expressed on an invitation, I would wonder whether I'd be scolded for discussing anything other than the HC or wedding during the reception. Would I be allowed to catch up with mutual friends? Or would that constitute "not being present and taking it in"?

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5258
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #41 on: September 04, 2013, 04:58:06 PM »
If a couple feels that strongly about having no electronics at their wedding, I think they should elope or have a very intimate ceremony.

OP, why does the Mother of the Bride feel this is her decision?

Hillia

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3681
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #42 on: September 04, 2013, 05:05:01 PM »
I completely understand (and agree with) the request that cell phones be silenced and put away during the ceremony. But as far as "no picture" taking... I don't get that. People have been taking their own snapshots at weddings since forever. I remember people having their own cameras and shooting photos at my wedding way back in 1980!

I can see requesting "no flash photography" or "please don't post pix on social media" but "don't take any pictures" is going to go over like a lead balloon.

I used to agree with you, until I saw this (covers both smartphones and "guest" photographers):
http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

Something about this really bugs me. I think it's the idea that not only can the B&G request your presence at their marriage ceremony, they can also tell you how you should be "taking it in."  You need to give them your undivided, focused attention.  Really get in the moment with them.  Because, you know, you can't just sit there and watch passively.  You have to really get into it. 

That makes me go blech.

I totally agree with this. It seems very self-centered. I can totally get behind asking people to refrain from behaviors that will distract other guests (and the hosts). No flash photography? Sure. Stay in your seat? Yes. Silence your device? Yup. Don't bring anything that might distract YOU from being fully engaged 100% of the time? Nope. Yes, a marriage is a major life event and is likely the biggest, most important thing to happen to the HC in that year. However, it's unreasonable to expect your guests to consider it that important themselves.

If I saw this sort of sentiment expressed on an invitation, I would wonder whether I'd be scolded for discussing anything other than the HC or wedding during the reception. Would I be allowed to catch up with mutual friends? Or would that constitute "not being present and taking it in"?

OTOH, if I invite you to a major, life changing event, which I have spent considerable time, effort, and money planning, I don't think it's too much to ask the guests to at least pretend they care about what's going on.  No, I don't expect guests to care as  much as I do, or to achieve some higher level of consciousness, but if you'd just as soon surf the net or text, you can do that at Starbucks and save us both the annoyance.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15620
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #43 on: September 04, 2013, 05:18:30 PM »


OTOH, if I invite you to a major, life changing event, which I have spent considerable time, effort, and money planning, I don't think it's too much to ask the guests to at least pretend they care about what's going on.  No, I don't expect guests to care as  much as I do, or to achieve some higher level of consciousness, but if you'd just as soon surf the net or text, you can do that at Starbucks and save us both the annoyance.

I agree.   I was horrified at the comments I saw on an Australian news site about the weddings that carefully avoided football season only to end up on a replay date because the finale game ended in a tie.  Some of those basically were telling the bride that only she cared about her own wedding.

People can surf the net or do Facebook anytime.  I don't think it's too much to ask them to refrain from doing so for the few hours it takes for a wedding and reception.

CocoCamm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1262
  • Leader of the 3 ring circus
Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #44 on: September 04, 2013, 05:19:33 PM »
I think the idea of no cell phones is unrealistic and a little egotistical.

People need their phones for a variety of reasons, asking for them to be left home is unrealistic. I know years ago people didn't have cell phones but that was years ago. Things have changed. A perfect example is that pay phones no longer exist in abundance they way they used to. So if any guest needed to make a call they would have to relay on borrowing a phone from the reception hall. Not really practical if you have a bunch of people who need to check in with the baby sitter or call a cab, etc.

I think its egotistical because your basically saying "I want all your attention on ME! ALL NIGHT! NO DISTRACTIONS! JUST MEEEEEEE!!!"

Now of course I think it's rude if a guest were to spend the night with their head buried in their phone. At the same time I highly doubt the happy couple would even notice. I got married about 4.5 years ago. I couldn't tell who if anyone was on their phone.