Author Topic: Cell Phone Ban  (Read 9482 times)

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Pen^2

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #60 on: September 05, 2013, 02:12:18 PM »
But why assume the worst before anything has happened?  I know my friends' phone and other personality habits and if I have a concern, I would talk to them directly.  A general mass message is insulting

This is the crux of it, I feel. There isn't anything wrong with someone having a phone in their pocket on silent. But if someone actually needs to be told that loudly playing snake and obviously checking Facebook statuses during the ceremony is rude, then even without the phone, they'll find something else distracting to do. I just would avoid inviting such people.

The people who need to be told this are going to be trouble anyway. But the people who don't need to be told (i.e. most) are going to be treated rather poorly just by being asked (just as being told, "Please don't snore during the ceremony," is rather unkind). Seriously, just a general, acceptable, "phones turned off, please" like at the cinema--framed as a reminder in case anyone forgot to turn it off, instead of a, "We don't trust you and we think you're going to be rude at our wedding."

Dorrie78

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #61 on: September 05, 2013, 02:20:52 PM »
I get that yes, there are circumstances that require people to have their phones available at all times.  I just think it's sad that there are a few who can't be disconnected from text, IM, games, websurfing, email for a few hours at what is an important event in the lives of someone who is supposedly important to them.  If I looked out and saw someone's head bent over their phone during the ceremony, I would be seriously reconsidering my friendship.  I'm not crazy about phones at the reception...but at the ceremony there is honestly no excuse at all (barring real emergencies, which would also involve a speedy and quiet exit).
But the bride wants to ban people even bringing phones with them to the wedding. I don't carry mine because I can't be disconnected from texting and email, but because I always carry it with me. If I'm leaving my house, I'm carrying my phone. Cars break down, I get lost and need the GPS, I may be coordinating meeting someone somewhere. And when I get to where I'm going, I'm not going to leave my expensive smart phone in my car. I'm carrying it with me. In any case, how is she going to enforce this ban? Searching bags?

I think this ban is extremely unreasonable and as someone else said earlier, rude people who play cell phone games during a wedding will find another way to not pay attention if they don't have a cell phone.

Zizi-K

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #62 on: September 05, 2013, 02:29:45 PM »
I completely understand (and agree with) the request that cell phones be silenced and put away during the ceremony. But as far as "no picture" taking... I don't get that. People have been taking their own snapshots at weddings since forever. I remember people having their own cameras and shooting photos at my wedding way back in 1980!

I can see requesting "no flash photography" or "please don't post pix on social media" but "don't take any pictures" is going to go over like a lead balloon.


I used to agree with you, until I saw this (covers both smartphones and "guest" photographers):
http://coreyann.com/blog/corey-talks/corey-talks-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding

Nothing in that blog post contradicts what lowspark said. Getting in the way of the photographer would be rude, and posting pictures on Facebook when you've been asked not to would be rude, but taking snapshots for yourself or to share with the happy couple later should not be a problem.

Well, I don't know if you looked all the way through, but it was a whole collection of photos that were ruined not only by people getting in the way of the photographer to take their own shots, and ruined by an obvious smartphone in the photo, but also photos that were ruined by another person's flash (whether from smartphone or camera). The first kiss happens in an instant. If people are taking photos with their phones or their point-and-shoots, there's a good chance the shot could be ruined for the photographer who was actually hired by the B+G to photograph the day. I'm not against photography in the course of the evening, but I think it's good form to just pay attention to the ceremony and the major moments (cutting the cake, etc) without feeling the need to snap away. The happy couple doesn't need hundreds of candid pics - they've spent thousands on a professional photographer!

*inviteseller

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #63 on: September 05, 2013, 02:58:54 PM »
I am sick of cell phones TBH.  If you (general) can't go to an event without whipping out your phone to check/update your FB status or text someone or play the next level of candy crush, then stay home.  If you want pictures of yourself and relatives, take your own camera.  I have kids so I understand the need to check in with the babysitter, but you can provide the name and number of the location you are at, just like our parents did (you kids get off my lawn too!!).  I am personally sick and tired of going to events and only seeing the tops of peoples heads because they are hunched over their phones..adults and kids alike.  My older DD is not even allowed to have her phone on her if we are out at dinner or an event.

wolfie

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #64 on: September 05, 2013, 03:05:29 PM »
Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

Yvaine

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #65 on: September 05, 2013, 03:13:37 PM »
If you want pictures of yourself and relatives, take your own camera. 

So people need to buy a whole separate camera if they've been only using their phone for this purpose for years?

ladyknight1

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #66 on: September 05, 2013, 03:18:14 PM »
I get that yes, there are circumstances that require people to have their phones available at all times.  I just think it's sad that there are a few who can't be disconnected from text, IM, games, websurfing, email for a few hours at what is an important event in the lives of someone who is supposedly important to them.  If I looked out and saw someone's head bent over their phone during the ceremony, I would be seriously reconsidering my friendship.  I'm not crazy about phones at the reception...but at the ceremony there is honestly no excuse at all (barring real emergencies, which would also involve a speedy and quiet exit).
But the bride wants to ban people even bringing phones with them to the wedding. I don't carry mine because I can't be disconnected from texting and email, but because I always carry it with me. If I'm leaving my house, I'm carrying my phone. Cars break down, I get lost and need the GPS, I may be coordinating meeting someone somewhere. And when I get to where I'm going, I'm not going to leave my expensive smart phone in my car. I'm carrying it with me. In any case, how is she going to enforce this ban? Searching bags?

I think this ban is extremely unreasonable and as someone else said earlier, rude people who play cell phone games during a wedding will find another way to not pay attention if they don't have a cell phone.

The OP mentioned it is the mother of the bride who wants this. We do not know what the happy couple themselves want.

No, I have not noticed people occupied with their phones during most ceremonies I have attended in the last few years.

rose red

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #67 on: September 05, 2013, 03:20:11 PM »
Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

Nope, not just you.  Oh, sure I've seen people glance at their phones or go outside to use it, but I've only seen "hunched over, ignoring the real world" on TV shows, and only heard of this phenomenon on the internet.  I don't think the world is as rude as we think.  It's just we hear (and notice!) more about the bad stuff because it jumps out at us since it's not the norm (at least in my experience in life).
« Last Edit: September 05, 2013, 03:22:00 PM by rose red »

hobish

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #68 on: September 05, 2013, 03:28:07 PM »
Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

No, you aren't alone. I was at a wedding a month ago where they didn't hire a photographer and instead had a site to upload photos to - the intent was for people to take pics with their digital cameras, usually a smart phone -  and there still weren't people hunched over their phones all night.

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Sharnita

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #69 on: September 05, 2013, 03:34:03 PM »
I am sick of cell phones TBH.  If you (general) can't go to an event without whipping out your phone to check/update your FB status or text someone or play the next level of candy crush, then stay home.  If you want pictures of yourself and relatives, take your own camera.  I have kids so I understand the need to check in with the babysitter, but you can provide the name and number of the location you are at, just like our parents did (you kids get off my lawn too!!).  I am personally sick and tired of going to events and only seeing the tops of peoples heads because they are hunched over their phones..adults and kids alike.  My older DD is not even allowed to have her phone on her if we are out at dinner or an event.

My own camera is my cell phone.  And "just like our parents" would require the same access to pay phones that "our own parents" had. It doesn't matter if you are personally sick of cell phones - that doesn't make them rude.  I personally think that all music on the radio should be Broadway show tunes.  It doesn't mean I am "right" or that people who feel and choose differently are "wrong" or "rude".  It is fine for you to choose for yourself how you want to live and for you to choose for your minor children.  If you don't want to socialize with people who make different choices that is also fine.  However, that doesn't mean you are more polite or that they are more rude.

Sharnita

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #70 on: September 05, 2013, 03:36:55 PM »
Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

Honestly. even people who are usually fond of their phones seem to put them away at weddings and similar events, in my experience. Now there might be a random case of a single who is left alone at a table while the couples are all dancing getting out the phone but if somebody really objects to that then I find that really controlling.

CocoCamm

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #71 on: September 05, 2013, 03:51:04 PM »
But why assume the worst before anything has happened?  I know my friends' phone and other personality habits and if I have a concern, I would talk to them directly.  A general mass message is insulting

My husbands eldest brother is a known sports nut. I don't mean a fan I mean a nut. Like he will miss important events to watch a sports game on TV. My FIL read him the riot act before our wedding and told him in no uncertain terms he would not be disappearing from the wedding in order to catch up on any games.

I guess we could have gone overboard and just made an announcement like "please don't leave the festivities for long stretches of time to watch sports." But that would have been rude because I know it wouldn't even have occurred to like 98% of the guests to do such a thing.

Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

I have not. Not when going out to dinner. Not when attending fancy events. As another poster pointed out I think it happens just not as often as some may think.

WillyNilly

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #72 on: September 05, 2013, 03:54:31 PM »
If you want pictures of yourself and relatives, take your own camera. 

So people need to buy a whole separate camera if they've been only using their phone for this purpose for years?

Seriously! I haven't had a camera in 10 years, what a wonderful thing it was to finally graduate from disposables to a cell phone!
Next you're going to say I should also buy a watch, and an address book and pen, and small light for my keychain, and a GPS unit. And I suppose I'll need new cocktail purse to fit all this gear into...

Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

Nope, me too. I mean I have seen plenty of photos taken on cells. And I'm sure at some point someone discreetly sent to received a text or stepped out to take a call, but I've certainly never noticed it as its in no way a widespread issue.

I have over 1,400 photos from my 2012 wedding. Only 600 are from my hired photographers, the rest are from guests who took them and uploaded or otherwise digitally sent them to me. And I have looked at every single one and not one has anyone using a phone as anything other then a camera in them; not one "hunched head" in 160+ guests over the course of 5 hours, where I would estimate every guest owned a cell and 80% or more owned smart phones.

Yvaine

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #73 on: September 05, 2013, 03:58:42 PM »
If you want pictures of yourself and relatives, take your own camera. 

So people need to buy a whole separate camera if they've been only using their phone for this purpose for years?

Seriously! I haven't had a camera in 10 years, what a wonderful thing it was to finally graduate from disposables to a cell phone!
Next you're going to say I should also buy a watch, and an address book and pen, and small light for my keychain, and a GPS unit. And I suppose I'll need new cocktail purse to fit all this gear into...

Try cocktail duffel bag!  ;D When all these functions could be fulfilled by one pocket-sized device that just happens to annoy some people by merely existing, even if people behave politely with it.

audrey1962

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Re: Cell Phone Ban
« Reply #74 on: September 05, 2013, 04:12:55 PM »
Is there a polite way to communicate this to one's guests?

No. IMO, this is equivalent to writing "no children" on an invitation. You have to assume your guests know how to behave properly.

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Am I the only person who has gone to events and not seen people hunched over their phones? I went to a wedding last month and I don't remember anyone using their phones at all.

I haven't noticed this either. In the past year I've gone to one wedding, several professional conferences and countless dinners, and have yet to see hordes of guests hunched over their phones. It's just not something I've experienced.