General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

Why didn't I congratulate you?

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lellah:
I had a client who called recently to update her name in our files.  Per company policy, we need to receive copies of certain legal documents, including a marriage license and a form emailed or faxed to a particular admin.  I said that I'd be happy to assist her with the name change, advised her of the process and its time frame, and inquired whether she had any questions. 

Yes, she said, why didn't you congratulate me?

I gaped like a fish at that.  I don't know her socially.  It's sort of weird--by traditional standards anyway--to congratulate a woman on her marriage.  She was calling about our business relationship.  She'd been married six months ago.  All good reasons not to bring it up, right?

Anyway, I mustered poise enough to say something about wishing her and Mr Whomever the very best. 

She freaked out at that and demanded to speak to my boss about how terribly rude I'd been, saying things like "would it kill that b-word to say 'congratulations' like a human being?"

Was I wrong not to acknowledge her marriage when I spoke to her about making the name change?  Or was she being sort of a SS?  Or were we both a bit off?

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: lellah on September 04, 2013, 05:29:27 PM ---I had a client who called recently to update her name in our files.  Per company policy, we need to receive copies of certain legal documents, including a marriage license and a form emailed or faxed to a particular admin.  I said that I'd be happy to assist her with the name change, advised her of the process and its time frame, and inquired whether she had any questions. 

Yes, she said, why didn't you congratulate me?

I gaped like a fish at that.  I don't know her socially.  It's sort of weird--by traditional standards anyway--to congratulate a woman on her marriage.  She was calling about our business relationship.  She'd been married six months ago.  All good reasons not to bring it up, right?

Anyway, I mustered poise enough to say something about wishing her and Mr Whomever the very best. 

She freaked out at that and demanded to speak to my boss about how terribly rude I'd been, saying things like "would it kill that b-word to say 'congratulations' like a human being?"

Was I wrong not to acknowledge her marriage when I spoke to her about making the name change?  Or was she being sort of a SS?  Or were we both a bit off?

--- End quote ---

She's a nut!

Zizi-K:
The woman sounds like a total nutjob. Yes, you could have said 'congratulations', but if it were me I wouldn't have noticed the omission. I hope your boss backs you up. She had no reason to freak out about it.

Hillia:
She's a whackjob.  Good heavens, it's a  business transaction, not a social event.  As long as you handled her request politely and efficiently, that's all that's required. 

Would it have been nice to say congratulations?  Sure. But it's not required.  Some people *hate* social chitchat when they're doing a business transaction; even 'nice weather today, isn't it?' will set them off.  If there's a long line of people waiting, stopping to chat with each one will cause the 8th person to seethe at the unnecessary delay.  Let it go; I hope your boss did.

veronaz:
She's a loon. 

That would be like when I picked up a prescription a while back the pharmacy asked me to verify my DOB - which happened to be that day.  She just said "Oh!  Today." and smiled, I winked and smiled, but should I have demanded a "Happy Birthday to you"?  Um, no.   ::)

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