Why didn't I congratulate you?

[lellah]

I had a client who called recently to update her name in our files.  Per company policy, we need to receive copies of certain legal documents, including a marriage license and a form emailed or faxed to a particular admin.  I said that I'd be happy to assist her with the name change, advised her of the process and its time frame, and inquired whether she had any questions. 

Yes, she said, why didn't you congratulate me?

I gaped like a fish at that.  I don't know her socially.  It's sort of weird--by traditional standards anyway--to congratulate a woman on her marriage.  She was calling about our business relationship.  She'd been married six months ago.  All good reasons not to bring it up, right?

Anyway, I mustered poise enough to say something about wishing her and Mr Whomever the very best. 

She freaked out at that and demanded to speak to my boss about how terribly rude I'd been, saying things like "would it kill that b-word to say 'congratulations' like a human being?"

Was I wrong not to acknowledge her marriage when I spoke to her about making the name change?  Or was she being sort of a SS?  Or were we both a bit off?

[LeveeWoman]

I had a client who called recently to update her name in our files.  Per company policy, we need to receive copies of certain legal documents, including a marriage license and a form emailed or faxed to a particular admin.  I said that I'd be happy to assist her with the name change, advised her of the process and its time frame, and inquired whether she had any questions. 

Yes, she said, why didn't you congratulate me?

I gaped like a fish at that.  I don't know her socially.  It's sort of weird--by traditional standards anyway--to congratulate a woman on her marriage.  She was calling about our business relationship.  She'd been married six months ago.  All good reasons not to bring it up, right?

Anyway, I mustered poise enough to say something about wishing her and Mr Whomever the very best. 

She freaked out at that and demanded to speak to my boss about how terribly rude I'd been, saying things like "would it kill that b-word to say 'congratulations' like a human being?"

Was I wrong not to acknowledge her marriage when I spoke to her about making the name change?  Or was she being sort of a SS?  Or were we both a bit off?

She's a nut!

[Zizi-K]

The woman sounds like a total nutjob. Yes, you could have said 'congratulations', but if it were me I wouldn't have noticed the omission. I hope your boss backs you up. She had no reason to freak out about it.

[Hillia]

She's a whackjob.  Good heavens, it's a  business transaction, not a social event.  As long as you handled her request politely and efficiently, that's all that's required. 

Would it have been nice to say congratulations?  Sure. But it's not required.  Some people *hate* social chitchat when they're doing a business transaction; even 'nice weather today, isn't it?' will set them off.  If there's a long line of people waiting, stopping to chat with each one will cause the 8th person to seethe at the unnecessary delay.  Let it go; I hope your boss did.

[veronaz]

She's a loon. 

That would be like when I picked up a prescription a while back the pharmacy asked me to verify my DOB - which happened to be that day.  She just said "Oh!  Today." and smiled, I winked and smiled, but should I have demanded a "Happy Birthday to you"?  Um, no.   

[Poppea]

She was absurd.

[Arila]

I also vote SS to the max!

Besides, unless she had announced that the name change was due to marriage, it could have been due to divorce (or as recently happened at work, sex change !!), which is not something you would generally "congratulate" people on...

[TeamBhakta]

She's probably trolling for a "we just got married" perk / discount / gift

[BarensMom]

My mother raised me to say "congratulations" to a groom but not to a bride.  One used "best wishes" or some other platitude to the bride.  Mom said that to say "congratulations" to a bride was an insult.

Therefore, based on my mother's criteria, the OP was actually being properly polite.

[Hmmmmm]

"I do not know the circumstances of your marriage, so I was unaware if Congratulations were appropriate."

A loon and complete loon.

[EMuir]

Er... it could have been a name change due to DIVORCE.  Which would have made a "Congratulations" rather awkward.

[NyaChan]

I think someone's missing all the "It's MY day" attention - six months have gone by, get over it already.  You were completely fine in the way you acted.  This woman was seriously out of line.

[daen]

Er... it could have been a name change due to DIVORCE.  Which would have made a "Congratulations" rather awkward.

OP referred to the need to send in a marriage license in the first post, so presumably the fact that it was a marriage had been established already.

The lady with the marriage license and the attitude is a loon.

[Luci]

"I do not know the circumstances of your marriage, so I was unaware if Congratulations were appropriate."

A loon and complete loon.

OK. You win! I laughed out loud. This a sincere LOL, not an automatic LOL which should really just be a smiley face 

Now that I think about, you guys never congradulated me on our marriage, the births of our children, their marriages, each of our grandchildren, any of our anniversaries or our birthdays.................... or never mind, I'm tired.

[jayhawk]

I think someone's missing all the "It's MY day" attention - six months have gone by, get over it already.  You were completely fine in the way you acted.  This woman was seriously out of line.

This.