Etiquette School is in session! > "Why would I want to do that?"

Don't outshine the bride...smaids?

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At my sister's wedding in May of this year, I was told to wear dark purple or yellow as she'd like the family to match. No further details regarding dress code. Also my mom was making dresses for all nieces, and they'd budgeted to buy purple ties for all nephews/family males (who were only required to wear a white shirt). I wore a deep purple and white semi formal. Gorgeous dress that fit great 2 weeks before the wedding but was a bit big the day of the wedding. Quite embarrassing when it turned out all the bridesmaids had on purple skirts with yellow tops, and most of the sisters/sisters in law were wearing either the same or something quite similar. I had no yellow on whatsoever. My husband and I managed to hide out in the church kitchen a good portion of the reception, assembling snacks and mixing dips. At least my kids were dressed appropriately!

No one accused me of trying to make a statement though my own brain berated me for outshining the bridesmaids.

Were the guests making comments people that you knew?  Their comments are very rude and odd and it would be even creepier if they were strangers.  I can see a friendly comment about you 'matching' the bridal party, but accusing you of doing it on purpose is way over the top.  Either way, I don't think you did anything wrong.  Many people don't even know the color scheme of a wedding prior to attending it. 

If somebody knew a bridal party's color and style of dress and deliberately went out and bought the same one that would be odd, but simply wearing the same color (especially a common one such as black/white) wouldn't even be a blip on my radar.


--- Quote from: Katana_Geldar on September 14, 2013, 06:03:43 PM --- As for not matching bridesmaids, the only ones who need to worry about that are MOB and MOG.

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Slghtly OT, but at the wedding of a son of a friend of the family the MOB and MOG wore the same dress! different colors, and they look nothing alike, but it was kind of funny, and they were fine with it. It was a longer dress, with a beaded jacket. MOG has very dark hair, and hers was a burgandy, and MOB is tall and blonde, and hers was a pretty royal blue. you didn't know it was the same unless you looked very carefully, and as they are all pretty laid back, no reason to consult wiht each other about what the other was wearing beforehand!


--- Quote from: whatsanenigma on September 06, 2013, 04:59:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love on September 06, 2013, 04:46:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: whatsanenigma on September 06, 2013, 04:07:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love on September 06, 2013, 03:31:33 PM ---My brother and SIL's wedding invitation came in the mail and I noticed the colors were ivory and sage. So I went out and bought a purple dress. Turns out, it was pretty much the exact same color as the bridesmaids' dresses. I felt even more self conscience, because my other two brothers were groomsmen and I was the only member of our family not in the bridal party. I sincerely hope no one thought I was trying to make a statement.

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You bought a purple dress that ended up matching "sage" dresses? When I think of "sage", I think of a grayish green.  Did the bride change her mind about her wedding colors or something?  Or maybe "sage" doesn't mean what she thinks it does.  Very weird to me.

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She used the sage and ivory theme on everything accept the bridesmaids' dresses.

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Okay, well, that' interesting interpretation of what "wedding colors" means.  It sounds like it was a beautiful wedding, though-those three colors sound pretty together-but I do wish it had been less awkward for you!

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Well, there's no obligation for the bride to reflect her "wedding colors" on the invitation. The OP assumed, which was certainly a reasonable gamble.

A few weeks my SIL and I were chatting about the two dresses she had bought to wear to the family weddings (DH's cousin got married 2 weeks before us). She mentioned that the one she liked better (and planned to wear to our wedding) was floor-length royal blue and that she had silver sandals to go with it. I must have had a funny look on my face, because she asked if that was ok and I said it was find, but my BMs were wearing floor length royal blue dresses with silver shoes. She wore the other dress to our wedding and the blue dress to the cousin's wedding (and it looked very similar to the BM gowns). If she hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have cared, but it would have been noticeavle.


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