Etiquette School is in session! > "Why would I want to do that?"

Don't outshine the bride...smaids?

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Isometric:
You're fine! This has happened before at weddings I've been at, and although people do comment, IME it's never meant to be malicious or implying anything.

I don't know why, if someone did want to be a bridesmaid, they would try to match. It would look very desperate!

AnaMaria:
Thanks for the reassurance, everyone!!

To clarify, there were plenty of other people saying things like, "Hey, look, you match the wedding colors!"  THAT sounded like casual conversation to me; it was the few who flat out asked if I was TRYING to match the bridesmaids that got under my skin.  As if I had gone shopping for this dress with the mindset of, "Oh, I want to look like I was supposed to in the wedding party!" 

whatsanenigma:

--- Quote from: Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love on September 06, 2013, 03:31:33 PM ---My brother and SIL's wedding invitation came in the mail and I noticed the colors were ivory and sage. So I went out and bought a purple dress. Turns out, it was pretty much the exact same color as the bridesmaids' dresses. I felt even more self conscience, because my other two brothers were groomsmen and I was the only member of our family not in the bridal party. I sincerely hope no one thought I was trying to make a statement.

--- End quote ---

You bought a purple dress that ended up matching "sage" dresses? When I think of "sage", I think of a grayish green.  Did the bride change her mind about her wedding colors or something?  Or maybe "sage" doesn't mean what she thinks it does.  Very weird to me.

whatsanenigma:

--- Quote from: Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love on September 06, 2013, 04:46:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: whatsanenigma on September 06, 2013, 04:07:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: Dandy Andy's Daddy's Love on September 06, 2013, 03:31:33 PM ---My brother and SIL's wedding invitation came in the mail and I noticed the colors were ivory and sage. So I went out and bought a purple dress. Turns out, it was pretty much the exact same color as the bridesmaids' dresses. I felt even more self conscience, because my other two brothers were groomsmen and I was the only member of our family not in the bridal party. I sincerely hope no one thought I was trying to make a statement.

--- End quote ---

You bought a purple dress that ended up matching "sage" dresses? When I think of "sage", I think of a grayish green.  Did the bride change her mind about her wedding colors or something?  Or maybe "sage" doesn't mean what she thinks it does.  Very weird to me.

--- End quote ---

She used the sage and ivory theme on everything accept the bridesmaids' dresses.

--- End quote ---

Okay, well, that's...an interesting interpretation of what "wedding colors" means.  It sounds like it was a beautiful wedding, though-those three colors sound pretty together-but I do wish it had been less awkward for you!

earthgirl:
When I had been dating DH for about six months, we went to a destination wedding of one of his friends.  I had only met this friend once, the week before the wedding, and I don't think DH had seen her at all while we were dating prior to that time.  Once we got to the destination, the island where the bride had grown up, it became clear that the only wedding guests were family members of the bride and groom, the bridal party (all but one of whom were family members), and me and DH.  Though I enjoyed being on a tropical island and the bride's family was lovely, I felt really out of place attending the wedding festivities of someone I hardly knew, especially when everything was in such an intimate setting (everything, including ceremony and reception, was at family member's houses or the family business).
 
Even worse, the dress I had brought with me was the exact shade of her bridesmaid's dresses.  Different material and design, but the same color.  I realized it the day prior to the wedding (I saw a bridesmaid's dress hanging on a door at the rehearsal dinner) but didn't have anything else I could wear.  I was self-conscious the whole time, thinking that perhaps people would think I was trying to insert myself into the bridal party.  A couple of the bride's family members commented on it but none of the comments seemed hostile at all. 

After spending that long weekend with her and getting to know her better, I realized that the bride was about as laid back as you can get (at least as far as weddings are concerned), and I doubt the color of my dress was even on her radar.

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