Author Topic: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?  (Read 20949 times)

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DavidH

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #15 on: September 10, 2013, 02:52:03 PM »
I'd call her and say that she was right, you needed the new dress and went and bought one.  Then on the day of be sure to mention to her something like, doesn't this just look fantastic, and she'll never know the difference and will be thrilled she was right. 

Shalamar

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2013, 05:03:12 PM »
Some people have a real problem with wearing used clothing - as if you're going to pick up something nasty.  Unless you're in the habit of keeping clothes you find behind dumpsters, however, that shouldn't be a problem!  Clothes can be washed, after all.  I LOVE thrift stores and consignment stores.

I remember Amy whatsername (argh - what was her name?  The lady with the cheapskate blog?) having an argument with someone about buying clothes from thrift stores.   Amy said innocently "You stay in hotels, don't you?"  "Yes."  "Ewww!" said Amy, very tongue-in-cheek, "you mean you sleep in sheets that someone else slept in?"  "That's not the same thing!   They wash those sheets!"   "Yes, and I wash the clothes I buy.  It's exactly the same thing."

Mental Magpie

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2013, 05:48:40 PM »
I'd call her and say that she was right, you needed the new dress and went and bought one.  Then on the day of be sure to mention to her something like, doesn't this just look fantastic, and she'll never know the difference and will be thrilled she was right.

I wouldn't do that. It just encourages her to think she is right in telling other people what I do and that this behavior is accept le in the future.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

VorFemme

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2013, 05:48:57 PM »
If you want the effect of pockets without "ruining the way the dress hangs" - you have to wear a belt with the pockets in it and get to them with open seams at the correct height - there are ways to adjust the seams so that they overlap slightly (making it less likely that they gap and expose your thighs, hips, or the hidden pockets hanging from your belt....a rather old fashioned way of doing it...medieval, even).  Although apparently that was because that was the only way to keep YOUR small belongings in your control - was to wear them or carry them on a belt at all times.
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RooRoo

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2013, 12:31:51 AM »
Speaking as someone who has made many of my own clothes, pockets do not have to ruin the lines of anything. The main trick is to not put a pocket where the fabric will tighten/loosen in normal wear. For example, the side seam, at the place where any garment will tighten when one sits down or bends over. That will gap every time.  And of course it will gap all the time if the garment is too tight.

And since fashions have been running to skin-tightness for around 60 years...   :(
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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2013, 01:15:43 PM »
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

Redneck Gravy

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2013, 02:27:33 PM »
Congrats on the thrift store score !

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bopper

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #22 on: September 12, 2013, 02:41:45 PM »
"If you would like me to have  a brand new dress, you are welcome to buy me one.  The dress I have is in very good shape and nobody will know."

I assume that new dresses are "better" and she wants the best for her baby girl!

Zizi-K

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #23 on: September 12, 2013, 02:52:25 PM »
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

I'm curious who will be saving the money? The bride (and groom) is supposed to provide the flowers for the wedding, the attendants are not supposed to buy their own flowers. Is this a gift to the bride?

Yvaine

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #24 on: September 12, 2013, 03:16:35 PM »
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

I'm curious who will be saving the money? The bride (and groom) is supposed to provide the flowers for the wedding, the attendants are not supposed to buy their own flowers. Is this a gift to the bride?

It might well still be with the bride's money. I read it as the bride can save money if she buys the flowers through the bridesmaid's work, and if she just buys them "as is" and then the bridal party assembles them into bouquets themselves. Otherwise she'd be paying more for the flowers (by not getting the discount) and also for the professional arranging.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #25 on: September 12, 2013, 03:19:59 PM »
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

I'm curious who will be saving the money? The bride (and groom) is supposed to provide the flowers for the wedding, the attendants are not supposed to buy their own flowers. Is this a gift to the bride?

Save money for the bride and groom. They're paying for the bulk of the wedding themselves, so we'll suggest ways to get something a little cheaper if we know about it. Like I know of two local caters who will give them a discount because they're both teachers, so I'm making sure they're on the list of caters to check out.

SoCalVal

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #26 on: September 12, 2013, 03:39:49 PM »
Good news! One of the other bridesmaids suggested that to save some money we make our own bouquets and the groomsmen can help make their own boutonnieres, still buying the bride's bouquets and the groom's boutonniere. Sounded like a great plan to me, our bouquets are really simple (just 6 white roses each, so three dozen and some ribbon), and the bridesmaid who suggested can get a good discount through her work on some very nice flowers (I know we got them for our last friend's wedding!).

Of course MOB is well...not pleased with that idea. What will people think?! Well, nothing if we don't tell them. And if we do, oh wow what a great way to save money. I'm guessing. Bride suggested silk a while back, that went over as well as the make our own plan.

Flowers...who knew they were such a big deal? Got her off my used dress...though she probably assumes I went out and bought a new one because why would I not she told me to after all. Eh, the emails stopped I'm happy.

Perhaps someone could tell MOB that your dress is the something old part of "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?"

Good deal on making your bouquets!  :)  I made mine and my bridesmaids the night before my wedding.  DH ran around the day before our wedding and went to three locations of a local grocery store chain to pick up the number of roses I wanted (I think it was something like five dozen); I already had the floral tape, which I bought from Michael's at a discount.  No boutonnieres as they would've damaged the wedding shirts of DH and his party.  Fortunately, no relatives had issue with our cost-cutting efforts (DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves so it's not like anyone would've had a say in that).



Cami

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #27 on: September 12, 2013, 05:52:57 PM »
See you went to the logical grown up place...mine went...I can hide snacks! Seriously, why don't we put pockets on all the dresses? Men get them on their suits! Purses are great, but sometimes you just need a darn pocket!

It ruins the lines of the dress.  Or so I've been told.   ::)
As a former bridal consultant, fitter and seamstress I will say that pockets certainly do ruin the lines of a dress...when the wearer shoves their hands in the pockets and keeps them there.  Which is often the case.

At one point in our bridal salon, we got in a maids gown and a bridal gown with pockets. We encourage our brides to send us photos of their big day. Every photo we got of people in those gowns look bad, IMO, because they all had their fists in the pockets, pulling down the gown and making LUMPS in the hip area. Blech.

AnaMaria

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #28 on: September 12, 2013, 11:16:56 PM »
I'm really wondering who's paying for the wedding??  If it's the parents, aren't they glad they're spending less?  If it's B&G, what right does MOB have to be saying they need to spend more???

First part of the story reminds me of my best friend's wedding- she wanted to check out some pre-owned wedding dresses to see if she could get a better deal, and her mother threw a fit saying that wearing a used wedding dress meant that she was "used" (we come from a religious background where physical intimacy is reserved for marriage).  Okay, it's bad enough when people get hung up on the color of  a wedding dress- like wearing anything other than pure white means you aren't "pure"- but the used status of the dress??   Who's going to know and WHO CARES???

PastryGoddess

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #29 on: September 13, 2013, 12:03:31 AM »
If and when I get married, I am definitely going to wear a used wedding dress.  I might go shopping to figure out which designers and silhouettes, I like.  But unless it's on sale at a deep deep discount. I'm buying used.