I'm really wondering who's paying for the wedding?? If it's the parents, aren't they glad they're spending less? If it's B&G, what right does MOB have to be saying they need to spend more???
First part of the story reminds me of my best friend's wedding- she wanted to check out some pre-owned wedding dresses to see if she could get a better deal, and her mother threw a fit saying that wearing a used wedding dress meant that she was "used" (we come from a religious background where physical intimacy is reserved for marriage). Okay, it's bad enough when people get hung up on the color of a wedding dress- like wearing anything other than pure white means you aren't "pure"- but the used status of the dress?? Who's going to know and WHO CARES???
Bride/Groom are paying for most of it, I'd say about 80%-90% of the bill, and each of their parents gave them a set amount to go towards the wedding/honeymoon. Her mom did pay for the church and reception hall because she was instant it be in the church because...what will people think (nothing! they will think nothing!) otherwise? And his are paying for the rehearsal dinner. Her mother doesn't really care about money per say, like one girl ordered her's from an online store and saved some money and she's good with that, but more of what will people think if they find out. I'm of the "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" school of thought. We didn't worry about what the neighbors thought in my family, we'd perfer to give them something to talk about.
Oh I learned a very long time ago do not mention used wedding dresses. Apparently they might have bad mojo attached (like the dress of a jilted bride), and your dress must be new. This was when I mentioned off handily one day before anyone I knew started getting married that I'd buy a used dress if it was something I liked (especially since I want a vintage styled dress). Partner's and I actually have...wait for it...used engagement rings. I know, I know. What are people thinking about us? And the mojo. My grandma bought them at an antique store when I was like 12, when Partner got serious about popping the question, grandma busted out the one she always thought would be perfect for me, and then she after we got engaged she gave me the other that's perfect for Partner to present to her. They're gorgeous and suit us wonderfully, they also look lovely together. Plus we made up a fun back story about their history (totally made up, just a bit of fun). But still I've gotten some "Oh, so they aren't new?" reactions. No, antique does usually indicate someone else owned it first (they aren't technically antiques, they aren't old enough).
And yes, we have been looking at used wedding dresses. People are thinking all kinds of things about us I'm sure.