Author Topic: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?  (Read 19895 times)

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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #45 on: October 17, 2013, 07:35:03 PM »
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #46 on: October 17, 2013, 07:55:49 PM »
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

What I would have said is "and now you know precisely *why*.  I can get the same exact things for less money, so I have more to spend."
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SoCalVal

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #47 on: October 23, 2013, 08:40:41 PM »
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

AND Kate Middleton did her own makeup for her wedding (as did I)! : )

Kudos to you for living debt-free!  That's our goal eventually but, with a mortgage, it's just not possible for a few decades (which I'm okay with since, otherwise, we'd be paying rent somewhere).



heartmug

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #48 on: October 28, 2013, 07:19:12 PM »
My sister-in-law could not believe my sister and I each did our own make-up for our own weddings.  I just never thought of it as a big deal.

And to the OP, great for you for finding SUCH a bargain!
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carol1412

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #49 on: October 29, 2013, 12:13:07 PM »
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

AND Kate Middleton did her own makeup for her wedding (as did I)! : )

Kudos to you for living debt-free!  That's our goal eventually but, with a mortgage, it's just not possible for a few decades (which I'm okay with since, otherwise, we'd be paying rent somewhere).

Well, Kate is a duchess rather than a princess. That's probably why she had to do her own makeup.  A real princess would have her makeup done by the bluebirds and kitchen mice!  ;)

Jones

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #50 on: October 29, 2013, 12:17:33 PM »
Glitter , I must ask; is this the same MOB who requested you and your partner not act like partners at the bridal shower? Curious mind here.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #51 on: October 29, 2013, 12:29:11 PM »
Glitter , I must ask; is this the same MOB who requested you and your partner not act like partners at the bridal shower? Curious mind here.

Nope, two seperate weddings. I'm not in the wedding party for bridal shower mom. I think I know at least...5 different couples getting married within the next 6 months (we're all in our late twenties now which seems to be the "everyone get married!" time).

Lillie82

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #52 on: October 29, 2013, 08:24:01 PM »
Her response is that money isn't an issue for me like some of the other girls, so I have no excuse to not pay full price for my dress.

Woaah! If she gives you that line again, use the next EHell phrase (which you can save in your pockets - yay for pockets, I never carry a purse) and say "What an interesting assumption!"

Good for you for getting the dress at Goodwill! What a find! Glad that K is rational and reasonable and not a bridezilla. And good for you for using your EHell phrase "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

I think I'm going to have to start using that a lot more often with her! This isn't the first reference she's made to how much money I make/have, usually I just ignore it, my mom drilled it into my head that the easiest way to tell who has no money is to see who talks about it the most, so just keep your lips zipped. It really is none of her business, she knows the field I work in and knows partner and I live debt free, so she's able to deduce that between the two of us we have a decent bank account, but again...not her money, not her business (even my own mother stays out of my money).



This post was reminding me of the Dave Ramsey show even before I saw the bolded!

I've tried to argue with family members that it's not necessary to go out and buy something new for family weddings, or for my dad's companies events. That it's ok to wear something you've worn before.

I just had that very disscussion with a friend who was upset she was going to have to wear the same dress she wore to a friend's wedding (a few months ago) to the same friend's cocktail party. I told her "Michelle Obama does and so does Kate Middleton, are you honestly fancier then then the first lady or a princess?", she calmed right down.

When I graduated high school my grandpa decided to give me an entire Dave Ramsey set (book, cds, whole package thing). I was always careful with saving money, but boy that was an awesome graduation gift. I have friends who seriously cannot wrap their heads around the idea that I have no debt and that I only have one credit card (I use it for automatic bill payments). But what if you want something but don't have the money? Easy, I save up. Then I get to have it. And if I forget about it before I saved up the money (or I'm not willing to wait to save up money) clearly it's not something I really want.

Don't want to get too sidetracked, but I had the feeling someone who used the words "live debt-free" like that (besides actually pulling it off), must be at least something of a Ramsey fan.

JenJay

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #53 on: October 29, 2013, 09:18:46 PM »

AND Kate Middleton did her own makeup for her wedding (as did I)! : )

Kudos to you for living debt-free!  That's our goal eventually but, with a mortgage, it's just not possible for a few decades (which I'm okay with since, otherwise, we'd be paying rent somewhere).

Well, Kate is a duchess rather than a princess. That's probably why she had to do her own makeup.  A real princess would have her makeup done by the bluebirds and kitchen mice!  ;)

 ;D

starry diadem

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #54 on: October 30, 2013, 02:44:53 AM »

Well, Kate is a duchess rather than a princess. That's probably why she had to do her own makeup.  A real princess would have her makeup done by the bluebirds and kitchen mice!  ;)


Well, a royal duchess is a cut above the ordinary kind. Still a royal highness, so maybe the Palace should have sent her the kitchen mice, at least.
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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less? *Update #55*
« Reply #55 on: December 16, 2013, 12:38:09 PM »
So, a little update. The wedding isn't until March, but boy has it been a fun ride so far! MOB has completely forgotten about my used dress. Because there are much much bigger problems. Mainly another bridesmaid who...got...PREGNANT! She announced her pregnancy early last month (or maybe end of October? I honestly can't remember) and she's already starting to show, she's due in late May, so at a March wedding, you bet your bippy she's gonna be showing. Big time.

Bride was totally cool, the dresses we have aren't very forgiving to a growing baby bump, so she suggested to pregnant bridesmaid, she go ahead and pick something similar in style/color that will accommodate her bump. And also to let her know if closer to the wedding she'd prefer to sit out or maybe sit down during the ceremony, if she felt like she needed too. She was very reassuring saying "I'm not kicking you out of my wedding, not at all! I just want you to do what makes you comfortable, you're bring a human into the world, that's pretty important".

MOB on the other hand, went a bit nutty. It's not actually that she's pregnant, MOB is able to see that our lives don't stop turning her for her daughter's wedding, it's that she's pregnant and not married. And what will people think. She's not with the father either and is planning on attending the wedding by herself. And well MOB is Mrs "What will people think!", it's 2013, they're thinking nothing. This is hardly shocking anymore. She tried asking me if I had new any nice men who could accompany her so people wouldn't ask, or if she'd be willing to wear a fake ring and tell people her husband was "away", both  we're answered with "No" (in that, are you crazy? tone). So now MOB is wringing her hands over this very worried what people will think.

The upside, this is much bigger to focus on then flowers, dresses, or why they aren't picking more expensive things. So HC is able to do whatever they darn well please while MOB frets over the unwed pregnant girl. Though she is concerned about me and Partner wearing our engagement rings because she isn't sure how she'll explain us to her friends. Bride told her "Mom, just tell them they're just like Portia and Ellen, your friends like Portia and Ellen", and that quieted her down for a while at least.

Danika

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #56 on: December 16, 2013, 03:04:19 PM »
Crazy drama! And even if guests cared about unwed mothers or same-sex partners, I don't even know if that would come up in conversation. There's so much going on during a wedding. People chit-chat and they don't always have their significant others standing right next to them. Guests are walking around, eating, socializing, dancing.

I imagine the only true conversations that happen are at the dinner table. And it's highly likely that the unwed pregnant lady and you will be at the same table as the bride, so you all know each others' stories anyway.

The MOB should be glad that you two are in the bridal party so that you're not, you know, Heaven forbid (sarcasm) sitting and mingling in with the general crowd!

Marbles

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #57 on: January 16, 2014, 12:34:18 AM »
That poor MOB. It must be really difficult living in her head with all the worrying about what other people will think [about her]. It's a shame that she can't see that no one is going to judge her for the choices her daughter's friends make.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #58 on: January 16, 2014, 02:59:28 AM »
/facepalm

Oh Noes! The Horror! ::)

If the MOB's friends are like her, maybe they will be thinking scandalised thoughts... and that will be entirely their own problem. :P Maybe tell her that if she doesn't actually tell anyone what's 'wrong', they probably won't notice?
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Marozia

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Re: So you want me to pay more, when I've already paid less?
« Reply #59 on: January 30, 2014, 02:34:16 AM »
I can't believe K's mum was upset over a dress that you'll only wear once!
Why would it matter to her whether the dress came from goodwill or the bridal shop, as long as it's clean and the exact style, who cares!