Author Topic: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54  (Read 16313 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #30 on: September 15, 2013, 07:50:21 AM »
Yeah, we used to do the switch off, doing Christmas with one family, Thanksgiving with the other and then the following year we'd switch.  But for the last 3 years we've gone to the IL's for both holidays, but no one seems to mind because it's fun and well hosted. 

It's also nice cause it's not too many people in one space.  At most there's 10 people, if DH's cousin can make it, everyone gets along, and the IL's are pleasant hosts. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

courtsmad25

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #31 on: September 16, 2013, 12:59:53 PM »
 It's posts like these that make me very aware on how diffrent family's are! Growing up Christmas eve was at my Grandma D's place, and always around 5-ish so my cousins, whose parents divorced years before, could fit it in with the other 30 Christmas things going on. I can remember one time when we had it at a cousins house instead but all of the rest of those years, Grandmas. Period. End of story.

  Christmas Day was always breakfast at home with the nuclear family (Mom, Dad, Sisters etc). Christmas Evening Dinner was at 6 PM at Grandparents W house. There were 10 kids, and all of their kids, S/O etc needless to say, that house was packed with at least 50 people...but you Had to go to Grandparents W house, or you were thought of as a special snowflake, a snob, or worse and risked being disowned by the family.  :o
  Yes, I am this serious! As we've gotten older,, the elders have been passing away so its not AS stringent, but, you had better be there or in a hospital.. So this posting had blown my mind!! Thank you Ehell for showing the differences.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #32 on: September 16, 2013, 02:59:33 PM »
While my paternal grandparents were alive and had their own place, we always had Thanksgiving at their home, but once they went into a facility the hosting job kind of shifted around and as years passed it would take longer and longer for the decision of where Christmas was going to be held.  One year they didn't decide till a week before and then some folks pouted when we (DH and I) said we had to go home Thanksgiving night cause I had to work the next day.  Gee, maybe I would have been able to ask for time off if I'd been able to give more notice!

Now we get together with DH's IL's every year and like I said, it's nice.  They don't expect us to be there until around 1 usually and that gives us enough time for the kids to open presents, eat and get ready and drive down (it's an hour and 15min drive).  We do tend to stay till 6 but since we always play a rather hilarious game of Spades with plenty of iced tea and sugary snacks, it's a lot of fun. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #33 on: September 16, 2013, 06:46:02 PM »
I always felt that we were caught in the middle as children on Christmas Eve and Day. We went were the family wanted us to go, sometimes to the dreaded smoky house, where I would get sick instantly, sometimes other houses. I felt like we never had enough time to spend one single day together without other family or friends. That is why Christmas Day is just for us.

blarg314

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #34 on: September 16, 2013, 08:25:44 PM »

...but you Had to go to Grandparents W house, or you were thought of as a special snowflake, a snob, or worse and risked being disowned by the family.  :o
  Yes, I am this serious! As we've gotten older,, the elders have been passing away so its not AS stringent, but, you had better be there or in a hospital.. So this posting had blown my mind!! Thank you Ehell for showing the differences.

Has anyone either moved away, or married someone whose family is in a different area? Those tend to be the breaking points for a YOU MUST Christmas tradition - someone moves a long distance and can't get time off work, or can't afford the tickets, or someone has a spouse who wants to spend some Christmases with their own extended family, who doesn't live in the area. Even a few hours away, when you've got small children, can push someone into taking the heat of breaking away.

courtsmad25

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #35 on: September 17, 2013, 12:39:22 PM »

...but you Had to go to Grandparents W house, or you were thought of as a special snowflake, a snob, or worse and risked being disowned by the family.  :o
  Yes, I am this serious! As we've gotten older,, the elders have been passing away so its not AS stringent, but, you had better be there or in a hospital.. So this posting had blown my mind!! Thank you Ehell for showing the differences.

Has anyone either moved away, or married someone whose family is in a different area? Those tend to be the breaking points for a YOU MUST Christmas tradition - someone moves a long distance and can't get time off work, or can't afford the tickets, or someone has a spouse who wants to spend some Christmases with their own extended family, who doesn't live in the area. Even a few hours away, when you've got small children, can push someone into taking the heat of breaking away.


  I kid you not: spouse issue, you better have spent thanks giving with them, cause your going to Granparent W's place. Moved away? If your not there (military deployment exception) you WILL be a "special snowflake" and possibly disowned. We were OK with leaving the festivities a little early because my mom worked nights at a hospital. With my first husband we would spend the night at my parents place, then travel 3 counties to his family's Christmas.. then he working night's would go home, then I would go another 3 counties over to Grandparent W's.  My baby sister didn't go 2 years in a row; and they didn't attend her wedding, baby shower, baby's first birthday etc.

Sophia

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #36 on: September 17, 2013, 03:57:09 PM »
I think I know who the special snowflake is, and it isn't your baby sister.

MindsEye

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #37 on: September 17, 2013, 04:29:54 PM »
  I kid you not: spouse issue, you better have spent thanks giving with them, cause your going to Granparent W's place. Moved away? If your not there (military deployment exception) you WILL be a "special snowflake" and possibly disowned. We were OK with leaving the festivities a little early because my mom worked nights at a hospital. With my first husband we would spend the night at my parents place, then travel 3 counties to his family's Christmas.. then he working night's would go home, then I would go another 3 counties over to Grandparent W's.  My baby sister didn't go 2 years in a row; and they didn't attend her wedding, baby shower, baby's first birthday etc.

Good grief.  I think at that point I would want to be disowned!  Good riddance to bad rubbish would be my attitude, I am afraid... I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the relatives who led the shunning or the ones who went along with it.

weeblewobble

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #38 on: September 17, 2013, 04:46:07 PM »
I have an acquaintance, Tara, with the "unrealistic grasp of entertaining" problem.  She doesn't seem to realize that it takes more than decorating your house nicely to make a nice party.  You have to put food and drinks on the table.  You have to provide some form of entertainment.  You have to make people feel welcome and not chase them around your house, reminding them to wipe their feet, use coasters, avoid sitting in the "nice" chairs, those are just for show.

Tara would host 30 people and only put out a two liter of soda and a plate of cheese and crackers, then gripe that people always seem so eager to leave her parties and don't show gratitude for her hospitality. friends have tried to gently tell her that people might be willing to stick around if she offered more food or drink or maybe stopped treating guests like they were furniture-smudging burglars.  But she said that she has the right to keep her home nice and if people want extra food and drink, they should bring them.

Other people in the group, with less "magazine perfect" houses, but the foresight to put out an abundance of delicious food and drink, provide games and activities and relaxed, fun atmosphere, host parties at their homes.  And Tara gripes because their houses aren't as nice as hers, but people act like they're having a better time than at hers.

She wouldn't listen to suggestions from others and eventually people just stopped going to her house.  With Lakehouse Sally, I would just tell her that you're going to continue with your holiday as planned.  And she can continue with hers.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2013, 04:48:55 PM by weeblewobble »

Snooks

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #39 on: September 17, 2013, 04:53:06 PM »
To avoid de-railing this thread could we have a separate thread about people's failure to host?  They're good stories but we could swamp POF's thread if we're not careful :)

o_gal

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #40 on: September 20, 2013, 01:23:32 PM »
I've been sick and haven't had the strength to give the Lakehouse update for this year  ::) - but stay tuned. Craziness.... its in the air.

So I've been waiting patiently and haven't seen it yet... did you ever post the Lakehouse update?

POF

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #41 on: September 20, 2013, 03:33:44 PM »
Gosh no, I've been crazy - but will try to do it this weekend. :)

Missy2U

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #42 on: September 20, 2013, 04:09:29 PM »
Gosh no, I've been crazy - but will try to do it this weekend. :)

YAY!!!!  Now I have something other than the NFL to look forward to this weekend!!  :)

nayberry

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #43 on: September 29, 2013, 01:23:07 PM »
so POF, what time should we arrive ?  :D

flickan

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #44 on: September 29, 2013, 01:35:35 PM »
We have blocked off Christmas day for years to be our nuclear family only. We have a Christmas Eve candle lit ceremony we attend at church, then it is home and together until Boxing Day.


That sounds wonderful!  I wish I could spend Christmas at home with just our family; my spouse and the cats.  We've worked out an alternating Christmas tradition but we get an undue amount of flack from my side because they want both of us every year.  So long as I've been alive I've only had one set of grandparents so with only one family to visit each holiday my parents have never had to make compromises.  It's so hard to please everyone.  It would be a blessing and a great relief just to relax at home.