Author Topic: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54  (Read 15545 times)

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kckgirl

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #45 on: September 29, 2013, 02:08:59 PM »
We have blocked off Christmas day for years to be our nuclear family only. We have a Christmas Eve candle lit ceremony we attend at church, then it is home and together until Boxing Day.


That sounds wonderful!  I wish I could spend Christmas at home with just our family; my spouse and the cats.  We've worked out an alternating Christmas tradition but we get an undue amount of flack from my side because they want both of us every year.  So long as I've been alive I've only had one set of grandparents so with only one family to visit each holiday my parents have never had to make compromises.  It's so hard to please everyone.  It would be a blessing and a great relief just to relax at home.

flickan, you actually can spend Christmas at home with just your family. Tell everybody now so they won't be surprised. You don't have to and cannot please everyone. Please yourself and enjoy the blessing and relief of relaxing at home. One family I know spends Christmas every year at home, and alternates years going to the grandparents for New Year's Day.
Maryland

JoyinVirginia

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #46 on: September 29, 2013, 03:10:04 PM »
When the dh and I got married, we decided then told everyone that when we had children we would be home on Christmas day. We would get together and visit any other day, but that day would be home. We stuck to that until the children were teens and wanted to visit some people on that day. My folks came to our house, because we made our plans clear and did not JADE.
It may be hard the first time, but once you have had a peaceful relaxing Christmas Day at home, you never want to go back.

gramma dishes

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #47 on: September 29, 2013, 03:17:36 PM »
When the dh and I got married, we decided then told everyone that when we had children we would be home on Christmas day. We would get together and visit any other day, but that day would be home. We stuck to that until the children were teens and wanted to visit some people on that day. My folks came to our house, because we made our plans clear and did not JADE.
It may be hard the first time, but once you have had a peaceful relaxing Christmas Day at home, you never want to go back.

We did exactly the same thing.  We announced even before our first child was born that once we had him/her we would never again be traveling for Christmas.  If Grandparents want to come to OUR house, fine.  You will be warmly welcomed.  But we're not coming to yours!   ;D

It was fair because it applied to both families.  Like you, we stuck by it and it worked out beautifully.  We've never regretted making that decision.

Snooks

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #48 on: September 29, 2013, 04:12:39 PM »
We've done that ever since we got married.  It's lovely because we do the day our way, we see my parents on 26th and I try to avoid seeing the in-laws at all  ;)

flickan

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #49 on: September 29, 2013, 04:16:52 PM »
We have blocked off Christmas day for years to be our nuclear family only. We have a Christmas Eve candle lit ceremony we attend at church, then it is home and together until Boxing Day.


That sounds wonderful!  I wish I could spend Christmas at home with just our family; my spouse and the cats.  We've worked out an alternating Christmas tradition but we get an undue amount of flack from my side because they want both of us every year.  So long as I've been alive I've only had one set of grandparents so with only one family to visit each holiday my parents have never had to make compromises.  It's so hard to please everyone.  It would be a blessing and a great relief just to relax at home.

flickan, you actually can spend Christmas at home with just your family. Tell everybody now so they won't be surprised. You don't have to and cannot please everyone. Please yourself and enjoy the blessing and relief of relaxing at home. One family I know spends Christmas every year at home, and alternates years going to the grandparents for New Year's Day.

I am thinking about doing just that but we will have to wait a couple of years.  Reason being we are newly married and because I missed Christmas due to illness last year we have already promised my spouse's family that we will visit them this year.  The following year it must be my family but after that I will want to do a Christmas at our home.  I think the every third year tradition is the best we're going to get for now.  My spouse loves visiting his family on Christmas but is sympathetic to how stressful it is for me to be around a lot of people.  Regardless, it would be unfair of me to want to be alone every Christmas because he is just the opposite.  We don't have any children so it's simpler for us to travel to the big family Christmases and we have no space to host our own.  So here's hoping for a peaceful Christmas at home in 2015!

unnalee

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #50 on: October 08, 2013, 10:52:18 AM »
None of the various parts of our families is anywhere near as pushy as Sally, thankfully!  My husband and I lived a state away from both our families for the first 8 years we were married.  We both missed home, so didn't mind the 5 hour drive (each way) to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

But after we had kids, that drive became close to 6 or 7 hours depending on how much we had to stop and how the weather was.  We decided to take back Thanksgiving for ourselves, and were very happy.  Now that we've moved back close to our families, and have two little ones (with a third on the way) we're already telling our parents that Christmas is going to be spent at home with our kids.  We have a party with my mom's family on Christmas Eve, a party with my FIL's family on Christmas night, and one with MIL's family the weekend before Christmas. 

This is the first year that our kids will wake up on Christmas morning in their own beds, at their own house.  My husband and I both grew up spending the day with just our parent's and siblings.  We want the same for our kids.  Everyone is more than welcome to come and visit.  We'll see how much PA backlash we get as the holidays get closer.

Snooks

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #51 on: October 08, 2013, 11:28:18 AM »
Gosh no, I've been crazy - but will try to do it this weekend. :)

Did this ever come?

Thipu1

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #52 on: October 08, 2013, 12:03:12 PM »
On both sides, my parents' families always spent Christmas in their own homes.  They both had several siblings with families of their own and everyone lived within a ten mile radius.  Everybody saw everybody else at least once a week. 

On Christmas Eve afternoon, One or two members from each household would drive around delivering presents to the others.  This was a great deal of fun for all concerned.  It was a sort of reverse trick or treating. 

On Christmas morning, there were rounds of phone calls to express thanks and give holiday greetings.  Then, each family sat down to it's own Christmas Dinner. 

Late in the afternoon, families would visit the respective Grandparents.  These were simple meetings
with cookies and tea.  Visits overlapped and, since everyone lived close together, they didn't last very long.

It was a pleasant and relaxed way to celebrate Christmas.  There were no heroic efforts required and there was minimal drama.   

secretrebel

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #53 on: October 17, 2013, 02:25:13 PM »
Bumping in hope of an update.

POF

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS
« Reply #54 on: October 18, 2013, 01:08:44 PM »
FOrgive me for being updatedeliquent..... its been a whirlwind of year end at work, restructuring at work, x-country track and AAU basketball.  Then I got a nasty sinus infection. 

SO DH ( Lakehouse Sally is his sister ) told me to ignore her - she's a whackadoodle.  But he also said he would handle it.

He mentioned it to her this and said.... I know you told POF that you want everyone at your house for XMAS - but we are going to be staying home.  Her reponse ... oh.. I don't care Betty ( her daughter - my niece ) is having XMAS. 

So - non drama event......  Betty gets her way for everything and I guess she trumped her Mom.   So - no issue for me .......

POF

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54
« Reply #55 on: October 18, 2013, 01:39:36 PM »
After all of that, and she doesn't care?  Lakehouse Sally is a pill.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

Sophia

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54
« Reply #56 on: October 18, 2013, 01:45:01 PM »
I find it amusing that the bulldozer has been bulldozed herself. 
Mildly curious if your niece actually serves food. 

Winterlight

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54
« Reply #57 on: October 18, 2013, 02:29:32 PM »
This kind of thing always boggles me, but then we lived several thousand miles away from the nearest relatives so family gatherings on holidas didn't happen. There was one big reunion on my mom's side when I was a little girl and that's it. Part of it may have been living in the 70s when people didn't just hop a plane somewhere.
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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POF

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54
« Reply #58 on: October 18, 2013, 03:25:01 PM »
I find it amusing that the bulldozer has been bulldozed herself. 
Mildly curious if your niece actually serves food.

Neice is a pretty good cook actually and we would go to her house .... but she always has way too many people for an indoor event. Plus while I really like her husband ... - his family is kind of hard to be around.  So we take a pass and I will try to go visit on a day when we can actually visit with them and play with the kids.

WillyNilly

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Re: Lakehouse Sally and "Dibs" on XMAS - update # 54
« Reply #59 on: October 18, 2013, 06:59:10 PM »
I find it amusing that the bulldozer has been bulldozed herself. 
Mildly curious if your niece actually serves food.

Don't parents always want their kids to be just like them only better stronger more successful versions? Sounds like Lakehouse Sally did well in accomplishing that with her offspring!