Author Topic: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)  (Read 3831 times)

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jaxsue

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2013, 01:17:00 PM »
I've lived in MI, OH, FL, NY, and NJ. and it's the same as the OP described it. And even though I never lived there, I've spent a lot of time in Southern Ontario (family), and ditto for there.

In the south hugs were a a bit more common, too.

Surianne

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2013, 01:39:10 PM »
Southern US here and most of my handshakes are professional.  However, for the germaphobes, my life might be worse, LOTS of hugs.

LOL! Southern Ontario, Canada, and I was just about to say the same thing. Professionally, it is a handshake. Socially, in this area it may or may not have a handshake. But culturally it is a hug, even for total strangers. Your Great-Aunt Millie's neighbour Sue (that you've never met and might never see again) came over? Give her a big ol' hug and a kiss on the cheek! Too bad for you if she has germs. :P

This practice looks like it is dying out, as the under-30 set seem to be awfully squeamish about hugging a roomful of strangers. ;)

Interesting!  I'm in Southern Ontario and this isn't my experience at all.  Funny how professional and personal circles make a difference, isn't it?

I work in a library and hand-shaking isn't that common in my professional life.  In my personal life, I find when I did a lot of theatre, those people were huggy, but in general, it's rare except with close friends/family, and even then no one seems to care too much if I just hang back and avoid the hugs.

EllenS

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2013, 01:55:18 PM »
I'm from Texas originally and am used to the environment that EllenS described.

Now I live in Budapest and there is a lot of cheek kissing (or air kisses near the cheek) instead of handshakes. It takes some getting used to because people from different sections of Europe seem to have a different standard. For example, most of the Hungarians I know only do one cheek kiss, but I know a lot of people from Spain, France, Belgium originally that do two. It caused some funny situations when I first met them and was only expecting one... including an almost-mouth kiss  :-[ After almost two years, though, I'm finally getting the hang of it...

Yes, clashes like this can be very disconcerting.  I was at a holiday party in New York once, at a co-worker's house who was from the Dominican Republic and lived in a very Dominican neighborhood. He introduced me to a neighbor and some relatives of hers - they all kissed me!  I tried to go with the flow, but I really was a bit thrown.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2013, 02:49:13 PM »
With the exception of church, handshakes aren't that common on a daily basis.  And even then people in my church (Episcopal) aren't really offended if anyone chooses not to shake but instead waves or does some polite alternative.  Least from what I've experienced.

In fact, a lot of informal greetings tend to opt for the fistbump. So much so that my youngest will often go up to people with fist extended, expecting a bump.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

EllenS

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2013, 05:25:58 PM »
Piratelvr, general location?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2013, 05:53:50 PM »
Piratelvr, general location?

Oh sorry! Midatlantic! :) Maryland to be specific.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Jloreli

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #21 on: September 16, 2013, 07:23:12 AM »
New England here.....

Business: Definitely! And since I work in an advocacy non-profit depending on the circumstance I may do the two handed handshake with clients....as in I cover their hand with my free hand when we shake. But you have to be super good at reading body language before you try that one. I usually only do it when someone is so upset they are already practically climbing in my lap. I get "petted" as a security object (arm or hand) quite a bit more than I would generally like but it is an occupational hazard. I also shake a lot more than my colleagues on a daily basis because I am a liaison to several traditionally male dominated agencies who tend to shake several times a day. I know I'm "in the club" when I get moved to fist bump or one handed "bro-hugs" complete with back thumping! LOL

 Social: Definitely when meeting someone new.....but also when seeing someone after having not seen them for a while if they are almost at the hugging level but not quite or if they are at that level but not "huggy" people. Church for sure though we may also use an actual peace sign or smile and nod especially during flu season.

Redsoil

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #22 on: September 16, 2013, 09:29:40 AM »
Rural Australia here - handshakes are extremely common.  Cattle sales, professional networking, dealing with real estate agents, buying a vehicle, introductions and various other areas of life.  If a handshake isn't given, it's quite often replaced by a certain "nod" of the head that's quite distinctive.

At bike rallies and events, often the handshake is the "biker variation" handclasp.  Otherwise it's (as someone described previously) a big ole hug!  :)
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Pen^2

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #23 on: September 16, 2013, 09:50:14 AM »
Singapore here. Handshakes are very uncommon, and are generally reserved for business interactions with foreigners. I've found that if I offer my hand to people, they'll take it, but it'll be out of surprise and not a natural reaction. If I wasn't a foreigner they'd probably ask me what I was doing instead of thinking, "Oh, that's right, she's foreign and they do that hand shaking thing." Kind of like how if a Japanese person bowed to a Westerner, the Westerner would probably bow back in politeness, but it wouldn't be a natural thing for them and they might be surprised. Also, generally, men don't shake with or offer to shake with women and vice versa due to some of the major religions around here frowning on it; so, unless you know someone's religion, it can (potentially) be seen as rude to even offer. Handshakes are becoming a bit trendy among the business elite, but they are by no means common or standard.

Cami

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #24 on: September 16, 2013, 10:05:46 AM »
I live in the upper midwest US (where people are not as friendly as they are reported to be). Shaking hands is something I do multiple times a day at work. Socially, I shake hands when meeting new people. It's a noticeable cut if someone doesn't shake hands and people will mark that cut and remember it.  (As an example, I was with some neighbors at a sales party. An older gentleman in our group turned to say hello to a neighbor and brought that neighbor into the group. I was the only one who didn't know her, so the "rule" would be to shake hands when introduced. I stuck out my hand and she stared at it and did nothing. That was over 10 years ago and occasionally her name will come up in conversation and someone always comments, "Remember when she refused to shake Cami's hand? What a weirdo.")
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 10:07:33 AM by Cami »

Thipu1

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #25 on: September 16, 2013, 10:33:02 AM »
Southern US here and most of my handshakes are professional.  However, for the germaphobes, my life might be worse, LOTS of hugs.

LOL! Southern Ontario, Canada, and I was just about to say the same thing. Professionally, it is a handshake. Socially, in this area it may or may not have a handshake. But culturally it is a hug, even for total strangers. Your Great-Aunt Millie's neighbour Sue (that you've never met and might never see again) came over? Give her a big ol' hug and a kiss on the cheek! Too bad for you if she has germs. :P

This practice looks like it is dying out, as the under-30 set seem to be awfully squeamish about hugging a roomful of strangers. ;)

Interesting!  I'm in Southern Ontario and this isn't my experience at all.  Funny how professional and personal circles make a difference, isn't it?

I work in a library and hand-shaking isn't that common in my professional life.  In my personal life, I find when I did a lot of theatre, those people were huggy, but in general, it's rare except with close
friends/family, and even then no one seems to care too much if I just hang back and avoid the hugs.

In the library, handshaking wasn't common with ordinary readers.  However, we would often have visits from scholars with whose work I was familiar.  Meeting someone like that required a handshake. 

Yvaine

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #26 on: September 16, 2013, 10:44:23 AM »
Southern US here and most of my handshakes are professional.  However, for the germaphobes, my life might be worse, LOTS of hugs.

LOL! Southern Ontario, Canada, and I was just about to say the same thing. Professionally, it is a handshake. Socially, in this area it may or may not have a handshake. But culturally it is a hug, even for total strangers. Your Great-Aunt Millie's neighbour Sue (that you've never met and might never see again) came over? Give her a big ol' hug and a kiss on the cheek! Too bad for you if she has germs. :P

This practice looks like it is dying out, as the under-30 set seem to be awfully squeamish about hugging a roomful of strangers. ;)

Interesting!  I'm in Southern Ontario and this isn't my experience at all.  Funny how professional and personal circles make a difference, isn't it?

I work in a library and hand-shaking isn't that common in my professional life.  In my personal life, I find when I did a lot of theatre, those people were huggy, but in general, it's rare except with close
friends/family, and even then no one seems to care too much if I just hang back and avoid the hugs.

In the library, handshaking wasn't common with ordinary readers.  However, we would often have visits from scholars with whose work I was familiar.  Meeting someone like that required a handshake.

On my last job interview--amusingly enough, in a library--I shook hands with three different people, and I shook hands with each of them twice: at the beginning and at the end of the interview. I mean, no, library workers don't shake hands with the patrons every time they help them find a book or something, but it still comes up sometimes. And I don't think I've ever been to an interview, in any field, where there was no handshaking.

In a social situation, people might not shake hands, especially if it's a casual gathering. One might just nod and/or say something verbally upon meeting someone. There's a fair amount of hugging too (midwest US) but in my experience it's usually limited to people who already know each other.

Surianne

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #27 on: September 16, 2013, 11:38:48 AM »
Yes, I'm not claiming no one in a library shakes hands, I'm simply referring to my own experiences, which is what the question asked, I believe.

snowdragon

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #28 on: September 16, 2013, 12:32:44 PM »
WNY here.
  Just had a job interview today. No hand shaking involved. in my last three job interviews either there was none or I initiated it. 

Eeep!

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Re: Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)
« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2013, 12:56:21 PM »
California here. Definitely handshaking in business.  Handshaking at my church (not a big fan).  And now that I think about it, socially, I do sometimes shake hands when I'm first meeting someone.  Not always though, I think maybe if the introduction seems kind of formal/official I might.  But I definitely don't shake hands with friends or family.  I am a bit of a hugger. But that is only once I know people.
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