Regional differences: how common is handshaking where you live? (S/o thread)

[ladyknight1]

Business and distant social: Opening and closing handshakes.

Social circles: Either a handshake or a hug. I am a hugger to those close to me.

University: I don't touch my classmates, at all. Seems to be mutually agreed upon.

[EllenS]

That's an interesting aspect I had not originally thought of: age/life stage cohort.

I certainly did not go around shaking people's hands in university, either - except maybe if I had to meet a professor in office hours, or the dean (though I don't recall actually doing it, I probably would have).

Now I am in the "married with kids and a job" stage, I do it a lot, though I couldn't tell you exactly when it changed.

[Yvaine]

That's an interesting aspect I had not originally thought of: age/life stage cohort.

I certainly did not go around shaking people's hands in university, either - except maybe if I had to meet a professor in office hours, or the dean (though I don't recall actually doing it, I probably would have).

Now I am in the "married with kids and a job" stage, I do it a lot, though I couldn't tell you exactly when it changed.

It may be that we get more into the habit of doing it socially as we start doing it more at work. Or that there are just more formal events to attend as we get older--I'd probably shake hands at a wedding reception and not at a kegger, and while I do still attend silly casual bashes, there are a lot more formal events mixed in as we get older.

[perpetua]

Interesting thread. I've really had to think about this.

South-east UK here.

Professional: Almost always in job interviews, usually initiated by the interviewer. If it's a panel interview, you'd shake hands with all of them. I've never been to an interview where this hasn't been the case. Perhaps it's different for more casual kinds of jobs but for office/professional jobs, this is the standard. Refusal to shake the interviewers hand - unless your hand was obviously in a cast or something - would probably create a very bad impression of you; you've failed basic interview etiquette 101 within the first ten seconds. Meeting new colleagues, a handshake may or may not be offered, and I'd think this is more prevalent among men (although the interview handshake is equally given to both genders). Business contacts - for example a salesman from one company meeting a purchaser from another - would usually shake hands on meeting and possibly on repeated meetings.

Business: For large purchases such as a house, car, new kitchen, etc, a handshake would probably be offered at the end of the deal. My medical consultant shook my hand the first time I went to see him as part of the introductions. Everyday business transactions like bank transactions, shopping, etc: no handshake.

Socially: Not on an every day basis - you wouldn't shake hands with your friends when you meet them. Meeting someone new for the first time you may shake their hand. Possibly a young man meeting his girlfriend's father would be offered a handshake. During organised social activities, you may shake hands with people on joining a new group for the first time - for example, if you joined an orchestra, the musical director would probably shake your hand while introducing him/herself.

There's also an element of congratulations to it, but this seems to be a specifically male thing. A man will often shake the hand of their male friend in congratulation on news of a promotion, engagement, birth of a baby, etc. This is often a two-handed handshake, or a handshake with one hand and a pat on the shoulder/back/arm with the other. I can't think what the equivalent is for women, perhaps a hug.

So yes. Handshakes are very, very common in this part of the world; so common that you don't even notice them happening, which is why I had to think so hard about this post!

[Hmmmmm]

Texas

Professional
Handshakes with people you only see occasionally, but not with those you see on a daily basis.
Work place hugs seem to be more common with people I've worked with for years but only see a few times per year.
When going to S. America I've become used to cheek kisses in work situations.

Social
I only shake hands with first introduction. After that its a verbal greeting, a hug, or air kiss. My DH shakes his friends hands each time he encounters them.

[msulinski]

WNY here.
  Just had a job interview today. No hand shaking involved. in my last three job interviews either there was none or I initiated it.

Wow, this just seems bizarre to me. I don't think I've ever been involved in a job interview (either as interviewer or interviewee) where I didn't shake the other party's hand. Do you mind sharing what field this is?

[marcel]

In The Netherlands it is shaking hands all over, both in profesional meetings and personal  meetings with friends.

With friends we also kiss on the cheeks her, but the Dutch do it 3 times (as opposed two the 1 or 2 times described by an earlier poster.) so with non-Dutch always potential for getting it wrong.


I also tend to move in very international circles, both here and when going on trips, so I continuously have to adapt based on my relationship with people and where they are from. (With this person I hug, with that one 2 kisses, with the other one 3 kisses, with this guy I only shake hands, etc.) It does getr a bit awkward sometimes, but since most travel a lot, we are used to it.

[gellchom]

Central Ohio here.  Same as most report: handshakes in business and formal settings, hugs for friends. 

I wouldn't think much of a job applicant who didn't start off by extending a hand, looking me in the eye, and smiling when introducing themselves.  That's how I'm going to expect them to behave with clients.  If you don't make your best impression in a job interview, when would you?

[Just Lori]

Indiana area here.  Handshakes are a given in business situations.  In social situations, I notice that men use them more than women.  My husband will greet another soccer dad with a handshake, for instance, when we run into each other in the stands.  There are also a lot of shoulder pats and hugs among friends and acquaintances.

Refusing to shake hands without explanation is definitely seen as a snub in a business setting.  Explanations are usually along the lines of "It's a pleasure to meet you.  I'd shake your hand, but I'm afraid I'm coming down with a cold/I just had hand surgery/insert explanation here."

[Psychopoesie]

Slightly off topic, I came across a funny YouTube about handshaking vs kissing.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CXz-E5Oav_Y&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DCXz-E5Oav_Y

[EllenS]

I just saw a really interesting TED talk last night, talking about different behaviors/habits that are scientifically proven to increase mental & physical health.  (body posture, not sitting for more than 1 hour at a time, journalling, etc.)

One of the items mentioned was that shaking hands or making physical contact with another human for 6 seconds, increased oxytocin in the bloodstream and increased optimism, trust, and positive emotions.  (Contacting a friend by email or text to say "thank you" for something had similar effects).

In case the link doesn't work, it is "Jane McGonigal: The Game that can give you 10 extra years of life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfBpsV1Hwqs

[LibraryLady]

West Texas
In library not so much - but going to commissioner's court, meeting with them - then yes.

Out walking, if you are talking to your companion, and you see someone you know; I make eye contact and sort of give a head nod but it sharp and sudden backwards , as if you had tipped your hat.  Kind of hard to describe.

In Rotary - always a handshake. I am a woman, so it sometimes segues into a half hug too.   One elderly gentleman always wants a hug and sometimes a kiss on the cheek.

Families always a hug -sometimes a kiss.

LL