Author Topic: How to Organize this?  (Read 1330 times)

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snowdragon

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How to Organize this?
« on: September 16, 2013, 12:29:41 AM »
I am attempting this because of POF's thread, and not wanting someone I love to feel "squeezed in" and\or forgotten, but with the schedules I am not sure how to do this. So I am asking the ehell mavens if they can see a way to do this.
My Aunt wants to go to the zoo for her birthday. She would want to go to a Fancy restaurant afterward. I would have to drive and push the wheelchair for her. Going would be My Aunt (BG), other aunt (Rosie), Mom ( Anna) and me. The scheduling is the issue. Aunt BG will.not.get.up. early and go at opening, when it is most convenient   for the rest of us. Her thought is "It's my birthday I should not have to work around anyone" ( When it's my birthday, graduation or anything else - I have to work around everyone, Mom does the same thing, so does Rosie.)
   My Schedule is : Monday I have PT at 3p,Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday and Friday: I have Classes.
   Mom's Schedule: Monday work in the afternoon,  Tuesday off, Wednesday Art Class, Thursday, Friday: work all day. Sunday Church until 2-2:30 ( zoo closes at 4)
   Rosie: Works Tuesday and Thursday all day.
   BG's: Tuesday , Thursday, Saturday Classes.
   The only time that we have off at the same time is Monday morning and she won't budge on the not getting up to get there at opening ( 10am, we'd have to leave at 9)
  Can anyone see any compromise here that work ( other than BG giving in and getting up before she wants to)? Mom is willing to take Monday off work but does not want to be in the city ( where the zoo is) after dark - and we would have to leave the zoo at about 3 to be able to go get dressed appropriately, go get dinner and leave before dark in the place she is requesting http://www.mikealafayette.com/  dinner there is a slow, luxurious affair that leaves you feeling very pampered. 2 hours at least.

Luci

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2013, 12:47:05 AM »
Give her the possibilities all nicely charted out on calendar frame and let HER figure it out. I am being serious here. Put your suggestions in bold.

There is only so much even the most loving neice can do.

The dear woman has either to lighten her expectations or concede to getting up earlier.

Best wishes.

Deetee

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2013, 01:09:04 AM »
I don't see that not wanting to get up early is anything unreasonable. Some people take a while to get going in the morning and a rushed start can mess up the rest if the day. I can only imagine that if one is in a wheelchair that is much worse.

Is aunt OK with lunch or dinner at the nice restaurant? Would it work to go for lunch and then to the zoo? Can you do the outings on separate days? Does everyone need to attend everything?

I'm not saying you all need to bend over backwards to accommodate her but give her the options as to when everyone is free and how it can work. From my viewpoint, Monday morning doesn't really work super well either. Evenif you got there at 10 and stayed 2 hours and then changed and went for lunch (1 hour change and travel time) and then a two hour lunch lands you at 3 which is your PT. 

Personally, I would pick Monday or Sunday or Saturday and split up for church or PT or lessons and changing and meet for lunch or dinner after that. Asking four people to come up with a six hour uninterrupted slot of time is not trivial.

snowdragon

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2013, 02:53:26 AM »
She wants it all in one day and it must be dinner for her to be happy. We are taking a wheelchair because while she can walk - she can not walk long enough to do the entire zoo and see everything. We take a wheelchair for her anytime we go anywhere like a zoo or a museum, but she manages with a walker on the college campus where she teaches and nothing at home or for a quick trip to a store. She is by non means "confined" to it and can be ready to go in a half hour ( even at 7:00 am ) if it suits her.
   Personally, I do think it is unreasonable for her to expect that we re-arrange everything and she will not give on any part of this. She can not do Saturdays because she teaches at the college all day - 10:30- 4:30.
  Something's going to have to be given up by everyone, and mom and I have offered to change our Monday schedules for one day because that is the one day no one has classes ( which we can't really cut for something like this). My PT is even willing to come in early or stay late one day so we can do this for her. Mom would be missing a half day of work and I would be changing my PT for one day. Sunday before 2 would not work as mom serves in several capacities and would need to find three other people to do what she does at mass. leaving at 2 would put us their around 3 and it closes at 4 so only one hour.
  I think I am going to have to tell her that if she can not get herself up early enough that we can be there at 10 when it opens, it's not happening.
 
   

cicero

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2013, 03:12:13 AM »
i would knock this down to two options (start the day early or split the hoopla into two days) and let her choose. put everything in a color coded spread sheet that is self explanatory, and will enable her to see why *these* are the only options. (we do this at work when trying to set up multi-group meetings).

(BTW - it looks like your restaurant is not open on mondays)

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JenJay

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2013, 07:36:58 AM »
I agree with PPs that Aunt can want what she wants but that doesn't make it possible. The three of you organizing should get together and figure out what you can do and let Aunt know, then she can decide which option she prefers.

lady_disdain

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2013, 08:28:26 AM »
Actually, there is a simple solution: spend less time at the zoo and don't see everything. The 9am leaving time is going to be a problem no matter what date is chosen, so the rest of the schedule doesn't really matter much, once a date has been found.

"Ok Aunt. If you want to leave at 10am for the zoo, we will get there at 11, which would only leave us 4 hours to see the animals." If she feels that sleeping in is more important than seeing everything, then let her.

Tea Drinker

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2013, 06:46:18 PM »
Actually, there is a simple solution: spend less time at the zoo and don't see everything. The 9am leaving time is going to be a problem no matter what date is chosen, so the rest of the schedule doesn't really matter much, once a date has been found.

"Ok Aunt. If you want to leave at 10am for the zoo, we will get there at 11, which would only leave us 4 hours to see the animals." If she feels that sleeping in is more important than seeing everything, then let her.

Trying to see everything is a good way for one or more people to get worn out and not enjoy themselves. No matter how this is scheduled, most of the group are likely to spend several hours on their feet, and snowdragon is going to spend several hours not only on her feet, but pushing her aunt's wheelchair.

I love zoos, and am a member of my local zoo. I don't expect to see everything on every visit. (When my local zoo was the Bronx Zoo, there was pretty obviously too much to do for that to be a good idea; I might manage it with the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle, but it would be less fun and start feeling more like an obligation. In fact, it's probably a good idea to tell BG that time and energy are finite--even if she doesn't get worn out, other people might--so she should decide what she most wants to see so they can start there and work out a reasonable route without too much back-and-forth over the same paths.
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ladyknight1

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2013, 06:51:19 PM »
I POD PP who suggested one of three options to BG.

1. BG gets up early, you all are at zoo at opening time, then you have nice dinner.

2. Zoo one day, dinner another.

3. Spend shortened time at zoo, then dinner.

I hope things work out!

jpcher

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2013, 07:29:21 PM »
Yup. Monday is out. Only due to the restaurant being closed on Mondays.

From your schedule listing it seems like Sunday would be the easiest for everybody except for Mom . . . and I strongly hesitate to ask Mom to miss church completely. Is there a chance that she could go to an earlier service?

What about the compromise of just you and Rosie taking BG to the zoo on Sunday (whatever time BG finds acceptable) and then Mom meeting you at the restaurant for dinner?


TootsNYC

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2013, 10:20:41 PM »
if the trip to the zoo is a gift to her, it needs to truly be a gift. No pressuring her into getting up and leaving earlier.

So maybe she can't have her gift exactly the way she wants it--that would be too bad, but that is also reality. So you just let her pick whichever scenario gives her the best gift that's actually available.

Maybe Mom can join you at the zoo after church is over.

Hmmmmm

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Re: How to Organize this?
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2013, 10:33:36 PM »
It looks like the restaurant is closed on Sunday and Monday. So if she insists on doing both dinner and zoo the same day, then your down to Tue- Sat. And since BG works Tue, Th, and Sat, she can only go on Wed or Fri. And it doesn't look like that is possible for you. So I would just tell her that you, her, and Rosie can go to the zoo on a Sunday and then she can pick another night for all 4 of you to have dinner.