Etiquette School is in session! > "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

A Variation of This Phrase, Annoying Coworker and the Cake

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--- Quote from: Yvaine on September 16, 2013, 03:15:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: TurtleDove on September 16, 2013, 03:07:18 PM ---I would have just casually not eaten any and not brought it to her attention.  If she pushed it, I would explain, but otherwise, I would have just let it slide.  Of course it depends how many other people were involved - if it's lots of people this is relatively easy, if it's just one or two, it would be more difficult.

--- End quote ---

But she was trying to figure out if she could eat it--it seems extreme to think the OP should have just forgone it when it was possible that she might have been able to eat it, and when it was made especially for her...

--- End quote ---

I agree, and also, this:

--- Quote --- She told everyone it was a sugar-free Jello cake so BeagleMommy can eat it.
--- End quote ---

Because the annoying co-worker made a big deal about it, and then BeagleMommy didn't eat it, that might have made things awkward or confusing.  Annoying co-worker would otherwise possibly have tried to milk that for sympathy, saying "I made this cake especially for her and she didn't eat it!".  And even if not, it is informative to the other co-workers that if they bring in jello cake that truly is made all the way without sugar, BeagleMommy will be able to eat it, and I am sure that at least some of the co-workers would appriciate that information.


--- Quote from: TurtleDove on September 16, 2013, 03:20:12 PM ---I mean I would have responded differently after asking.  Like this:

From the OP:
When I asked her what she used to sweeten the cake she said "Sugar, of course!". 

My response:  "Oh, okay!" (Casually grab coffee, go talk to someone else, whatever involves not eating the cake but not essentially calling out the coworker for being "stupid," which is how this came across to me).

Now, I agree the coworker was daft to think she could use sugar elsewhere and have it be okay, but I think the OP could have handled this in a less potentially offensive manner. I know I rarely notice who is and who is not eating whatever unless they actively comment on it somehow.

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Ah, ok. That makes more sense, thanks.

are any one else's tastebuds cringing in the corner at the thought of a dessert made with BOTH sugar and artificial sweetener?  :o

That way the exchange happened, OP was able to clarify what was in the cake AND she was able to educate her co-worker about what "sugar free" actually means.  Had the co-worker not announced to all and sundry that she specifically made it so OP could eat it, I can totally see doing something more laid back like walking away. 

I don't think the OP was offensive.  I would have thought it odd if the only thing Beagle Mommy said was "Oh, Okay" and then walked off without clarifying.  In fact I would have thought she was deliberately snubbing the food AC brought in after leading her on by asking what's in it.

Ah, yeah, I have not run into anyone who has that problem with their thought processes lately - but Maternal Grandfather was diagnosed with diabetes back in the 1970s.  Mom was a science teacher.  Maternal Grandmother was a math teacher.

"Sugar Free" meant "100% artificial sweetener" rather than "some artificial sweetener with  glucose, fructose, sucrose, or similar substances ending in -ose".

Not everyone has a scientist in the family (she'd also worked in a water purification plant in the lab and a few other places while moving around while Dad tried to finish his schooling) - so I did understand that not everyone was as precise in their measurements, word choice, and the like. 

Dad was allergic to penicillin and Maternal Grandfather was allergic to honey - so I learned at an early age that you didn't try to HIDE what was in something - because it might cause more problems if no one knew WHY Dad or Granddad was getting sick.  Certain cheeses and other foods have penicillin mold used in producing them.  Honey keeps baked goods moist and adds a layer of flavor, too.  But not around Dad & Grandfather!!!

Then more family members started developing food allergies and I found out that...not everyone understands that "allergy" doesn't mean "eating this ingredient will make my nose run and my eyes turn red".  It can range from "itchy all over" to "hives & swelling" and worse...all the way up to "I will quit breathing" - although (knock wood) so far no one has had THAT reaction.


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