Kitchen Sink Etiquette

[Arila]

Well, we have a similar problem in our house. If Marissa's responsible for dishes, and she isn't doing them in a timely fashion such that the sink is regularly blocked up with dishes so he can't run the disposal, then whose fault is it??

I've never heard of not putting apple cores down the disposal. I've done it all my life and apples are a favorite fruit in our family.


Totally agree that this is a couples-work-it-out-between them issue like every other household chore division argument.

[Amara]

Is the garbage can close to the sink? I assume it is, which makes his behavior very passive-aggressive, but if it is further away and not as "convenient" may I suggest a kitchen re-arrangement?

[Joeschmo]

Well, we have a similar problem in our house. If Marissa's responsible for dishes, and she isn't doing them in a timely fashion such that the sink is regularly blocked up with dishes so he can't run the disposal, then whose fault is it??

I've never heard of not putting apple cores down the disposal. I've done it all my life and apples are a favorite fruit in our family.


Totally agree that this is a couples-work-it-out-between them issue like every other household chore division argument.

I still vote his fault for not looking for an alternative place to put his apple core.  I've never heard of a family who's favorite fruit is apples who only eat them in places with garbage disposals.  I too like apples and eat them at work or even in the car where the trash would be my only option for the core.  I'm surprised this has never happened to you or family that you've had an apple somewhere without a disposal available.

[Arila]

I've never heard of not putting apple cores down the disposal. I've done it all my life and apples are a favorite fruit in our family.

I still vote his fault for not looking for an alternative place to put his apple core.  I've never heard of a family who's favorite fruit is apples who only eat them in places with garbage disposals.  I too like apples and eat them at work or even in the car where the trash would be my only option for the core.  I'm surprised this has never happened to you or family that you've had an apple somewhere without a disposal available.

The posts just prior to my post people were discussing if it was even safe to put the cores down the disposal at ALL. I meant that I'd never heard of this prohibition/advice against doing that. Sorry that wasn't clear...

[Joeschmo]

I've never heard of not putting apple cores down the disposal. I've done it all my life and apples are a favorite fruit in our family.

I still vote his fault for not looking for an alternative place to put his apple core.  I've never heard of a family who's favorite fruit is apples who only eat them in places with garbage disposals.  I too like apples and eat them at work or even in the car where the trash would be my only option for the core.  I'm surprised this has never happened to you or family that you've had an apple somewhere without a disposal available.

The posts just prior to my post people were discussing if it was even safe to put the cores down the disposal at ALL. I meant that I'd never heard of this prohibition/advice against doing that. Sorry that wasn't clear...

Sorry, yours was the newest post when I clicked on unread posts since last visit so I didn't put it in the context of what I had read previously.  I was reading it as though you had never hear of throwing an apple core anywhere other than the disposal.  Thank you for clarifying for me.

[WonderWoman]

I'm still curious about pouring milk on clean dishes. What is that about? Just, why?

[Zizi-K]

My Dad does this too, not only with apple cores but also orange and banana peels. I too find it disgusting to find half-eaten and/or rotten food in the sink. Whether the husband's mom trained him to do it or not, the point now is that he lives with his wife and he might have to make some changes at her request. She could take two tacks: ask him to do it as a favor to her, and as a way of making less unpleasant work for her. Second, she could use logic/reason. I'm sure an 'expert' could be found online who would say that this is bad for the disposal or bad for the waste water system. We have a septic field and for us it actually is a big no-no to throw large amounts of food down the disposal. A third option is to start composting! All non-animal waste can be composted along with the fall leaves or grass clippings to make a nice fertilizer for next year's garden! That way hubs will throw his apple cores into a designated bin rather than in the disposal.

[jaxsue]

I'm still curious about pouring milk on clean dishes. What is that about? Just, why?

I'm curious, as well.

[TootsNYC]

I am on the wife's side.

the husband sounds like my prat of a brother who at 49 still takes milk and pours it in the clean dishes on Christmas and other special occasions, so I have to wash them. Mom thinks it's no big deal and never did a thing about it. So he's still doing it.
 If a person is never forced to change childish behaviour they never grow out of it.

Hey, snowdragon--come and give us some more detail on this--how does he do this? Are the clean dishes stacked in the sink or something?

[esposita]

I am on the wife's side.

the husband sounds like my prat of a brother who at 49 still takes milk and pours it in the clean dishes on Christmas and other special occasions, so I have to wash them. Mom thinks it's no big deal and never did a thing about it. So he's still doing it.
 If a person is never forced to change childish behaviour they never grow out of it.

Hey, snowdragon--come and give us some more detail on this--how does he do this? Are the clean dishes stacked in the sink or something?

Please do! The only thing I can think of is that you'd rather him drink out of his personal carton? And honestly I would sympathize! We don't have milk that often, and we buy small containers, so when I see hubby getting a whole cup dirty instead of just taking a swig from the carton that will soon be empty and won't be used long enough for germs to congregate, I roll my eyes at him and tell him to just drink from the carton, please! 

[Niamh84]

I know that this is not at all etiquette approved but when I first moved in with my boyfriend it used to drive me mad that every time he finished the toilet roll, he'd just leave the empty cardboard insert sitting there instead of putting it in the bin.  I was constantly asking him to put them in the bin, then I escalated to just walking out of the bathroom and handing them to him whenever I found them.  This didn't work so every time I found an empty one that he'd left sitting there I'd put them in his pillow case or his shoe or sometimes popped them into the hood of whatever he was wearing.   All of a sudden the problem disappeared, weeks went by and there wasn't a single empty toilet roll insert left lying around.  I was so happy.  Then one night I went to bed expecting my head to sink into a lovely soft warm pillow, only to find that my pillow case had been entirely filled with all the toilet roll inserts he'd been hoarding for the last few weeks as revenge!

Anyway, he always puts them in the bin now and I would imagine if you did this with dirty apple cores then the message would be received a lot faster (though would end up quite disgusting if your husband has my boyfriends tast for revenge!)  Like I said, it's absolutely not correct ettiquette but it's what I would do!

[edgypeanuts]

As I understand it, Snowdragon is gone for a bit, although I am interested in the details of the milk pouring as well.

I can see a few reasons for wanting apple cores and other fruit debris to go down the disposal instead of in the garbage.  We do not currently have a disposal, but I try to recycle and dispose of things with as will waste as possible.  Garbage stinks after only a day if you put those kinds of things in and I can see some people wanting them down the disposal instead.

I also HATE dishes in the sink.  It is a personal issue for me, but dirty dishes should be in the dishwasher or washed and put away.  Clean dishes should be put away not in the sink.  Other households do not have to operate this way, but it is an issue for me.  My husband knows this and is pretty good about it, but he has several dishes he doesn't like to go in the dishwasher.  He will wash them and then leave them in the sink or on the counter.  It does annoy me if I am making something and I cannot drain things in the sink or rinse my hands because the sink is full of dishes.
I will admit I have to fight my passive-agressive side to not just drain the pasta or rinse my hands over the clean dishes when I turn around with my hands full and the sink is occupied by last nights dishes.  (I haven't done this, but I have to confess it crosses my mind)

[violinp]

Apple cores can't go down our disposal, because it would ruin the blades (it can't take something like that). I don't think it can take banana peels, either.

[Arila]

I know that this is not at all etiquette approved but when I first moved in with my boyfriend it used to drive me mad that every time he finished the toilet roll, he'd just leave the empty cardboard insert sitting there instead of putting it in the bin.  I was constantly asking him to put them in the bin, then I escalated to just walking out of the bathroom and handing them to him whenever I found them.  This didn't work so every time I found an empty one that he'd left sitting there I'd put them in his pillow case or his shoe or sometimes popped them into the hood of whatever he was wearing.   All of a sudden the problem disappeared, weeks went by and there wasn't a single empty toilet roll insert left lying around.  I was so happy.  Then one night I went to bed expecting my head to sink into a lovely soft warm pillow, only to find that my pillow case had been entirely filled with all the toilet roll inserts he'd been hoarding for the last few weeks as revenge!

Anyway, he always puts them in the bin now and I would imagine if you did this with dirty apple cores then the message would be received a lot faster (though would end up quite disgusting if your husband has my boyfriends tast for revenge!)  Like I said, it's absolutely not correct ettiquette but it's what I would do!

Actually, I wonder if to the OP's friends husband, the dirty dishes sitting in the sink and blocking access to the garbage disposal are actually the cardboard rolls in your story, and his leaving the apple cores next to them in the sink are his way of putting them on her pillow.

[LeveeWoman]

I know that this is not at all etiquette approved but when I first moved in with my boyfriend it used to drive me mad that every time he finished the toilet roll, he'd just leave the empty cardboard insert sitting there instead of putting it in the bin.  I was constantly asking him to put them in the bin, then I escalated to just walking out of the bathroom and handing them to him whenever I found them.  This didn't work so every time I found an empty one that he'd left sitting there I'd put them in his pillow case or his shoe or sometimes popped them into the hood of whatever he was wearing.   All of a sudden the problem disappeared, weeks went by and there wasn't a single empty toilet roll insert left lying around.  I was so happy.  Then one night I went to bed expecting my head to sink into a lovely soft warm pillow, only to find that my pillow case had been entirely filled with all the toilet roll inserts he'd been hoarding for the last few weeks as revenge!

Anyway, he always puts them in the bin now and I would imagine if you did this with dirty apple cores then the message would be received a lot faster (though would end up quite disgusting if your husband has my boyfriends tast for revenge!)  Like I said, it's absolutely not correct ettiquette but it's what I would do!

Actually, I wonder if to the OP's friends husband, the dirty dishes sitting in the sink and blocking access to the garbage disposal are actually the cardboard rolls in your story, and his leaving the apple cores next to them in the sink are his way of putting them on her pillow.

They're not her cores!