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  • September 28, 2016, 10:34:48 AM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 402386 times)

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Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2850 on: September 26, 2016, 07:20:08 PM »
Dear Morty

It's lovely that you've decided to leave your own private queen-sized bed with the 24/7 electric blanket to come and sleep next to my pillow again.  However...  could you please refrain from chatting every single time I move at night?

Love as always

Your sleep deprived food-n-lovins provider with the eyebags that need a luggage cart...

(yes, my pets are very hard-done by.  The electric bill was  :o :o :o :o :o)

Out on the patio we'd sit,
And the humidity we'd breathe,
We'd watch the lightning crack over canefields
Laugh and think, this is Australia.

Ganggajang - Sounds Of Then (This Is Australia)

Yarnspinner

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2851 on: September 26, 2016, 09:48:39 PM »
Dear Guest Kitty,

You can turn your nose up at it all you want.  It's what Mommy and Daddy gave me to feed you.  You seem to eat it just fine when you are at your own home.  Why, when you are here, do you expect me to come up with filet mignon and salmon en croute?  Waking me up every hour begging for a change of munchies is not playing well with my health and when your Mommy called tonight I told her you are inches from becoming a lovely scarf.  She told me to shut you out of the bedroom, but then you will not snuggle up to me once you realize that that is all the food you are going to get.

Love, Aunt Lily, who does spoil you rotten with kitty treats



Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2852 on: September 26, 2016, 10:26:46 PM »
Dear Holly,

The cat philosophy about boxes is, and I quote, "If I fit, I sit." It is not "if I don't fit, I try to sit anyway, and then I throw a fit."

Your head will fit in that box. Your butt is significantly bigger, and will not. Stop blaming the box.

Love, Me.
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Hmmmmm

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2853 on: Yesterday at 08:02:04 AM »
Dear Bossy Pants,
It's 95 degrees out and 90% humidity. No I will not open the window so you can sit on the ledge. You can see out just fine.

Signed,
Trying to get some work done in my home office

Baby Snakes

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2854 on: Yesterday at 09:38:42 AM »
Dear Feral Cats, 

Thank you so much for the dismembered mouse you left in front of my door, you were even nice enough to remove its guts and leave it in a nice pile next to the mouse.  Please don't leave your gifts on my door mat, I almost stepped in mouse guts this morning and then had to clean up and dispose of the dead mouse before going to work.

Thank you,
The Nice Lady Who Feeds You

GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2855 on: Yesterday at 12:28:23 PM »
Dear Feral Cats, 

Thank you so much for the dismembered mouse you left in front of my door, you were even nice enough to remove its guts and leave it in a nice pile next to the mouse.  Please don't leave your gifts on my door mat, I almost stepped in mouse guts this morning and then had to clean up and dispose of the dead mouse before going to work.

Thank you,
The Nice Lady Who Feeds You

Dear Renfield,
I would accept dismembered gifts on the front mat.  The live offerings being brought into the house is why you no longer have indoor/outdoor access at your discretion.  The Giant rat put paid to that.  Possibly forever.

-Your (Rebellious) Slave

Chipmunky

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2856 on: Yesterday at 01:47:36 PM »
Dear Mopsy,

It's cute that you want to come in and "check on the baby" during a sleep feed.  Less cute is the meowing and pawing at me during said feeding, which causes the baby to stir.  If you're coming in, you will be quiet, or face my wrath.

PS- stop sniffing over the pumping funnels when I'm putting the caps on the bottles. Trying to taste Chipmunchkin's food that I work hard to make for her is gross. I'm also not crazy about how you keep eyeing my chest.


Dear Squirt,

Enjoy your remaining days as a lazy, fat cat (15 lbs of chubber lovins!) while you still can. Chipmunchkin is trying to roll, and can already wriggle forward a bit on her stomach. It won't be long before she's crawling and chasing you around the house in the effort to play "catch the kitty tail". You might want to do a few laps before she's mobile and gives you a heart attack.


Loves and scritches,

Mama

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2857 on: Yesterday at 05:39:32 PM »
Dear stray kittens,

You will by now have undoubtedly learned why the adult cats hadn't killed the large toad before, and it had therefore lost its fear of cats - toads are not a good-tasting food. 

Love,

The human who feeds you even though you're skittery about humans.

diesel_darlin

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2858 on: Yesterday at 08:45:39 PM »
Bubba, Im sorry that you had a hairball. Im glad that you got it up though. What I dont understand is why you chose my area rug instead of the hardwood or the linoleum.

Love, hork disposer

It's a matter of traction.  It is quite the violent procedure to hork up a hairball.  They use their claws to dig in for traction, which is much easier on carpet.  :)

That makes perfect sense! Thank you!

Julian

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2859 on: Today at 01:00:57 AM »
Dear Salem

Please, could you leave the live gifts outside where they came from?

Mama had another bad night last night, courtesy of Morty and hot-n-cold running flashes, so chasing a rather lively bird around the house this morning was not the kindest way for me to wake up. 

I do think Molly the dog enjoyed the chase though.  Hopefully the poor bird will still be alive tonight when I get home... 

Love

the provider of noms.

(the bird went to ground somewhere in the lounge room, couldn't catch it and I had to go to work...  Goldilocks rang a while ago, it's still alive and squawking in the kitchen.)

Out on the patio we'd sit,
And the humidity we'd breathe,
We'd watch the lightning crack over canefields
Laugh and think, this is Australia.

Ganggajang - Sounds Of Then (This Is Australia)

o_gal

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2860 on: Today at 06:46:48 AM »
Bubba, Im sorry that you had a hairball. Im glad that you got it up though. What I dont understand is why you chose my area rug instead of the hardwood or the linoleum.

Love, hork disposer

It's a matter of traction.  It is quite the violent procedure to hork up a hairball.  They use their claws to dig in for traction, which is much easier on carpet.  :)

But then there are some (like my previous cat Miles) who would stand on the perfectly easy to clean tile floor in the entryway and hork it up onto the carpet in the living room. You could even turn her around during the preliminary "she's going to hork!" phase, and she'd turn back around and face the living room to do the deed  ::)