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Author Topic: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?  (Read 968 times)

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jpcher

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What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« on: June 26, 2015, 06:28:34 PM »
This quote from the "Silly things that made you happy" thread:

Watching my DD "helping" her little brother register for his college courses.....

She might be turning into a helicopter sibling. We'll have to watch that.

made me smile and brought back a memory.


When my brother was 16 (I was 19) he started his first real part-time job*. One Saturday morning, after about a month or so of him working, I was in the kitchen and he flew out of his bedroom in a very frantic mode:

Bro: Oh! No! NO! NO! I'm 10 minutes late already! I need to eat breakfast. No! I can't eat breakfast I need to take a shower! I can't work all day without eating! I should just get dressed and go. They're going to fire me! Why didn't I hear my alarm? I'm in sooo much trouble! etc.

Me: STOP! The first thing you need to do is call them. There's the phone. Apologize for being late and let them know that you will be there in 15-20 minutes.

Bro: Call them? They're going to yell at me!

Me: At least they'll know that you're still coming in and not ditching the job. It was a simple mistake, but the sooner they know the better it will be for you.

Bro (still looking like deer in the headlights): Okay. okay. I gotta call them.

and he did.

Bro (on the phone): I'm so sorry that I'm late, but I'll be there in less than 20 minutes. Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much!

After he got off the phone, Bro looked at me in awe and said "They didn't even sound mad."

Me: It's the communication thing. You gotta let them know. Now, go take a shower and get dressed. I'll make you a quick breakfast to go.

Fortunately we lived only a 5 minute drive away from his work.


30+ years later, when I saw him last year, he asked me "Do you remember that day? I'll never forget it. You taught me about communication. Thank you." (that's an abbreviated conversation, not word-for-word.)

Bro is now quite the big-wig in a very large corporation.

Now, I'm certainly not saying that my "STOP! and call them now" is the only reason that he has achieved what he has, but it was good to hear that 30+ years ago I gave him a bit of advice that he still remembers.




What about you? What is the best advice you gave to a sibling?

Or -- what is the best advice that was given to you from a sibling?


(or friend/parent/relative, etc.)




*Bro ended up working at this job, transferring to other locations, during his college days. He left as a manager.

sylviatexas

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2015, 06:45:27 PM »
What a good sister you are!

The best advice I ever gave my brother was, "Don't marry that girl."

He didn't take it, had 3 children with her, went through a bitter divorce, & was adrift for a number of years before he met a wonderful woman to whom he's been married for donkey's years!

Klein Bottle

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2015, 06:47:38 PM »
I was in my third year of college when my next youngest sister graduated from high school. Her senior year, she was uncertain what she wanted to pursue as a future career, and her guidance counselors were not much help.

Her strong suit was math. I had several friends at university who were engineering majors, and for some reason, I picked mechanical and suggested she look into that.

Long story short, that became her major, and she has had a wonderful career, obtaining her PhD. She has worked in the space program, and has taught at an esteemed university. And now her oldest child is also an engineer.
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gmatoy

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2015, 07:44:37 PM »
My youngest sister was having a crisis. She was afraid to tell our parents. She left our mother a note. And then called me asking what she should do. I arranged for both of them to come to my house. DSis asked what she should do when Mama got there. I told her to go into Mama's arms, which would be outstretched.

They were and she did go straight into them.

Twik

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2015, 09:13:24 PM »
"You had no breakfast, you had no lunch, it's 2 pm and you're not feeling well. For goodness sake, eat!"
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Winterlight

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2015, 09:44:18 PM »
"When you're in the car with dad, the best way to avoid getting lectured about your grades/finances is to get him off on one of his pet subjects. It won't work every time, but I've had a lot of success with it." Bro later said he's glad I use my powers for good. *g*
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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Slartibartfast

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2015, 10:41:50 PM »
"I don't care if you can't find a job yet - move in with him anyway."

My sister was dating a guy for five years long-distance.  They both have jobs which are very hard to find openings for.  Four of those five years, they were trying to find something in the same city (ANY city) so they could actually be closer than four hours apart, but they kept not having any luck.

They both moved to San Francisco this spring.  He proposed to her at Christmas before they left  ;D  He had a job lined up beforehand; she's still looking.  They're actually getting to be together, though, and she's never been happier  ;D ;D ;D

(And hey, if anyone knows any museums hiring curators/registrars in the San Francisco area, let me know . . .)

cicero

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2015, 02:21:20 AM »
What a good sister you are!

The best advice I ever gave my brother was, "Don't marry that girl."

He didn't take it, had 3 children with her, went through a bitter divorce, & was adrift for a number of years before he met a wonderful woman to whom he's been married for donkey's years!
LOL that was the advice i gave my sister "don't marry him" but did she listen to me? not a chance. 30 something years and four kids later, he hasn't changed and she is miserable (but won't admit it). I told her that he doesn't respect her and he is mean to her and she said it's because he's stressed and he will change after the wedding. I told her that people are usually on their best behavior before the wedding and that afterwards he will have no reason to change (of course, someone told *me* not to marry my first husband but did i listen? not a chance)

Let's see ---
*I told my brother not to invest any money in any money schemes that my then-husband was trying to get him to invest in. My brother thought (mistakenly ) that it would help me if he invested. I told him that i don't trust my then-husband and to not get involved.
*I told my sister to stop with her negative thinking that her husband is cheating on her because he isn't. (She suspected a *thing* between him and a coworker and i told her that nothing is going on).
*Told other sister to stop calling her third child a "liar". she said "but he lies". I said "then call him out every time he lies, but don't label him a liar. there is a difference between calling someone "a liar" and telling them "you just told a lie".


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ladyknight1

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2015, 07:53:37 AM »
"You had no breakfast, you had no lunch, it's 2 pm and you're not feeling well. For goodness sake, eat!"

I am the oldest of three sisters. My youngest sister is less than practical in her approach to life. She doesn't remember to eat, and will work until she faints from not eating. This happened twice at work. The restaurant ended up asking her to leave, since they were concerned for her well being.

She, like my son, is hypoglycemic, and prone to low blood sugar. My son has a very high metabolism and eats small meals throughout the day when he is active. My sister does not. It took multiple fainting spells and trips to the ER before she started giving her body the fuel it needed.

cicero

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2015, 08:21:49 AM »
"You had no breakfast, you had no lunch, it's 2 pm and you're not feeling well. For goodness sake, eat!"

I am the oldest of three sisters. My youngest sister is less than practical in her approach to life. She doesn't remember to eat, and will work until she faints from not eating. This happened twice at work. The restaurant ended up asking her to leave, since they were concerned for her well being.

She, like my son, is hypoglycemic, and prone to low blood sugar. My son has a very high metabolism and eats small meals throughout the day when he is active. My sister does not. It took multiple fainting spells and trips to the ER before she started giving her body the fuel it needed.
that's kind of ironic, no? she works in a *restaurant* and fainted because she didn't eat?

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ladyknight1

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2015, 08:52:15 AM »
There is no logic to explain it.

ehelluser

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2015, 11:25:53 AM »
"I don't care if you can't find a job yet - move in with him anyway."


(And hey, if anyone knows any museums hiring curators/registrars in the San Francisco area, let me know . . .)

Might not be right for her but the San Jose Museum of Quilts is looking right now.

sandisadie

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2015, 06:45:16 PM »
My youngest sister is 11 years younger then me. (I was early 40s, she was thirty). Not long after I had gotten married for the 2nd time and moved far, far away from my home state to south Florida we returned to my hometown for a short visit.  We visited my youngest sister and while there decided to shop at a big mall not far away.  She told me that we would have to wait while she put on her full makeup and did her hair.  I informed her that since moving I had stopped using anything but lipstick and mascara for shopping and such and she should too.  She protested that she "always" dressed up to go shopping.  It's what everybody did there!  Well, I got her to follow my lead and from then on she spent alot less on makeup!

VorFemme

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Re: What was the best advice you ever gave to your sibling?
« Reply #13 on: Yesterday at 09:17:27 AM »
Got her an ereader with adjustable font size that reduced her eyestrain while reading - I did let her try out mine and the one that I intended to go to Mom to see which one worked best for her.  She reads on the commuter bus on the way back & forth to work every day & sometimes at lunch.
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