Author Topic: Viewpoints on a situation  (Read 2998 times)

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esposita

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #30 on: September 20, 2013, 10:01:33 PM »
Yes, if he wasn't ill kempt  ...

So you think if he was dirty, smelled like alcohol and was dressed in ragged clothing it would not be okay?  But as long as he's clean and neat and shiny he would be perfectly safe?   ???

Well not quite. A very public bus stop on a street with other adults walking around, a one time deal of a non-threatening person, male or female handing out flyers to some school kids, is not a situation I, personally, would bring to the attention of the authorities.

The title of this thread was asking for viewpoints. That's just my viewpoint. :)

Jones

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #31 on: September 20, 2013, 10:25:23 PM »
My viewpoint involves "don't talk to strangers" and "don't block waiting traffic". I wouldn't have told the kids to listen to any stranger they were avoiding. Particularly if they were attempting to safely cross the street at the time.

Inviteseller, I like how you handled the whole incident.

Sharnita

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #32 on: September 21, 2013, 08:11:19 AM »
Ted Bundy was clean and well dressed.

*inviteseller

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #33 on: September 21, 2013, 08:35:35 AM »
Yes, if he wasn't ill kempt  ...

So you think if he was dirty, smelled like alcohol and was dressed in ragged clothing it would not be okay?  But as long as he's clean and neat and shiny he would be perfectly safe?   ???

Well not quite. A very public bus stop on a street with other adults walking around, a one time deal of a non-threatening person, male or female handing out flyers to some school kids, is not a situation I, personally, would bring to the attention of the authorities.

The title of this thread was asking for viewpoints. That's just my viewpoint. :)

My neighborhood is 2 large circular streets that cross each other, but it is tucked away at the top of a hill surrounded by some woods.  It is not a cut through for any other neighborhoods.  The traffic that comes through, both foot and vehicular, is residents and their visitors.  This is not a public bus stop, but rather a bus stop for the elementary school bus.  These kids are K-5th, but at our stop, of the dozen kids, the majority are 2nd & 3rd graders.  There were 2 women taking their daily walk, a dad waiting for his son on his porch across the street from my house and a mom waiting on the street 2 houses down from me, and myself.  The kids are going to the houses down the street from mine.  And, to a child, a person they do not know, male or female, well dressed or dirty, jumping out of a car and running to catch up to them can be scary.  My own 7 yr old DD who was with me was startled by this woman's behavior and the boys she was trying to get to talk to her looked at her but kept walking as they should.    I understand that is your opinion esposita that you find it rude to ignore someone calling out to you to try and give you something (with the caveat that they are not a homeless looking person), but even I will not stop for people trying to hand me fliers, and I sure as heck have told my kids to never stop when a stranger tries to stop them and engage them in conversation if I am not with them, especially with a running car with the door hanging open.  Maybe I have watched too many Lifetime movies, but this whole scenario was just making my brain scream WRONG!

Thank you Jones..I was unsure if I went over the top or was rude in stopping her.  To me, anyone, no matter what they look like or what gender they are, should never do what this woman did..maybe she just wasn't thinking, but when an adult says stop bothering the kids and the kids themselves will not stop and talk, leave them be!

esposita

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #34 on: September 21, 2013, 08:42:56 AM »
Ted Bundy was clean and well dressed.

I feel like this is a trifle unfair. I am fully aware that all that glitters is not gold.

But Ted Bundy also pretended to have a limp or be in some type of trouble in order to lure women back to unsafe places. This is a completely different situation!

I think children can be taught to never go anywhere with a stranger without also worrying that every stranger might be a serial killer.

*inviteseller

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #35 on: September 21, 2013, 09:28:35 AM »
Adults should not solicit unattended children for any reason IMO.  I don't care if it is for sports camps, church gatherings, or anything.   

esposita

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #36 on: September 21, 2013, 10:43:14 AM »
Adults should not solicit unattended children for any reason IMO.  I don't care if it is for sports camps, church gatherings, or anything.

I can agree with this Inviteseller.  :D

But I think where we differ is that in the exact situation you described (barring any other what-ifs) I'd probably just shrug it off as a one time, poor judgement type of thing. I understand that not everyone feels that way.  :) And honestly, if it (again, this exact situation) became a pattern I'd step in.

kherbert05

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #37 on: September 21, 2013, 11:01:55 AM »
The reactions from the adults around were to ignore them (2 just walking up the street), to call their kids (2 parents across the street) and then me...I immediately called to the women as she was calling to the kids to stop approaching the kids.  My exact words were "hey, do not approach those children.  You don't know them, they don't know you and you could get yourself in trouble for something like that."  I said that in a nice voice thinking she was just having a brain freeze and not thinking of how her actions looked.  She actually ignored me and still approached the kids who were walking away from her (the bus driver was watching her in his mirror) and I yelled "Leave those kids alone!  Now!"  She proceeded to tell me what a horrible person I was stopping her from telling the kids about their church and that they needed to come to church.  That is when I figured out where I saw her before..her and some other adults escorted some young kids (about 8 or 9 of them) door to door getting the kids to knock and try to hand out religious literature and preach to the residents of the neighborhood and tell us our kids (not the adults) needed to come to this church, that, btw, is being run out of a rental townhouse.  I went to the rental office for the complex and voiced my concerns but I guess nothing has been done as they are now stalking the school buses.  The school said they will talk to the kids about stranger danger but because they were not on school property there is not alot they can do.  Today I talked to the police department and they have received similar complaints and are looking into it.  I tried to get the license number but she jumped in the car and they tore off when they heard me say to my older DD to get the license.  I am glad my thoughts were not too over the top when I saw what she was doing.  Again, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't thinking clearly but it is obvious this is their M.O.
Hate groups using religion as a cover do stuff like this.  Keep up the pressure. These people are predators just not the kind that end up on registries.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Erich L-ster

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #38 on: September 21, 2013, 02:12:00 PM »
I think it's inappropriate if the kids were elementary to middle school age but if it were high school age kids that they can make up their own minds to take a flyer or not.

Bexx27

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Re: Viewpoints on a situation
« Reply #39 on: September 21, 2013, 02:48:08 PM »
I haven't read all the replies yet, but I know I am going against the grain here, big time.

I would have told my kids "Hey, someone is trying to get your attention, turn around and stop ignoring her!" At that point, she hadn't done anything wrong or creepy. She was giving out flyers, albeit enthusiastically. If she had started badgering the little kids then yeah, there would have been problem. But giving out flyers does not a scary woman make.

I don't believe it is rude for anyone of any age to ignore strangers on the street soliciting or panhandling. It's not a social interaction and it's unwelcome (for me). I would not want to teach my children that they are obligated to engage any stranger who approaches them selling something, just as I don't want to teach them they are obligated to listen to a telemarketer's entire spiel over the phone. Stranger danger doesn't have to enter into it for me.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver