Author Topic: New job and an upcoming ceremony  (Read 2983 times)

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AylaM

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New job and an upcoming ceremony
« on: September 07, 2013, 06:14:20 PM »
I've been unemployed for a while, and recently got a job offer.  I accepted it.  After the initial excitement and paperwork, I start in just over a week. 

During a recent conversation I realized that they had never asked about any upcoming events that I'd need time off for, and I was so excited to finally get a job offer that I didn't bring it up.

And I do have an upcoming event two months after my first day.  So now I am faced with the decision of whether or not I should ask for a day off.  I know my father would be very upset if I didn't attend (it is his ceremony).  I'd prefer to go because I know it is important to him.  But ultimately I realize the job is more important in the long run.

Now logically it shouldn't be a problem, I will have accrued the time to take a day.  But the day of the ceremony is one that many people are likely to was to take off as it is the day before a federal holiday weekend.  So I am unsure if I should ask, and if I do ask I am not sure when or how.

I'm told this is one of those things where it actually can hurt to ask (makes you appear unreliable or something).  So I wanted to see if anyone here had any advice on the matter.

jmarvellous

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2013, 07:29:22 PM »
Congrats on the job!

I do not think it will hurt to ask, as long as you ask NOW (preferably before you start, so it's not like you're pulling something over on them) and make it abundantly clear that you'll understand if you can't take the time off. Take a humble tone, but not an overtly apologetic one, I think.

"My father has a very important ceremony on ____, and I'd love to be able to attend, if possible."

Good luck!

TootsNYC

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2013, 09:43:40 PM »
I think it so depends on the personality of the people you're working with.

I'd allow it.

Is there any way you can work some hours on that day? Bringing that up might mean that you make yourself look better.

And let this be a lesson to you--always give yourself thinking time before accepting, and look into days off, etc., before you accept.

cicero

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2013, 10:50:09 PM »
I would ask. And say 'sorry I didn't bring this up at our final interview but ...'

If you can work part of that day, and/or make up the hours that week, then offer to do so.

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camlan

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2013, 11:00:45 PM »
If you haven't started working yet, there's still time to negotiate this. I've hired people who have told me, as soon as they accepted the offer, that they need a certain day/week off within the first three months of employment. We accommodated them, although they got the time off without pay as they had not accrued vacation time yet.

So ask. But if this is a popular day for people to take off, be aware that your new department may have reached its limit of people out for the day months ago. Many places I've worked have had rules that only a certain number or certain percentage of the department could have scheduled days off on the same day. For example, out of a department of 10 people, only two could schedule vacation days at the same time. That left eight people working, which gave us enough flexibility to cover if someone went out sick. We could get the essential work done with seven people, but with less than that it would mean tons of overtime.

So ask and hope for the best. And if they can't give you the day off, surely your father will understand that having a job is very important.

This shouldn't hurt you in the long run, if you make it clear that it is a specific day for a specific purpose--a ceremony honoring your father.
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TootsNYC

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2013, 07:16:45 PM »

This shouldn't hurt you in the long run, if you make it clear that it is a specific day for a specific purpose--a ceremony honoring your father.

I agree. And in fact, you'll have lots of time--every other day--to give them evidence that you're a hard-working individual who takes the job seriously.

gramma dishes

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2013, 07:29:43 PM »
I agree with everyone else.  Ask respectfully, stressing that this is a one time event for your father.  Offer to make up the hours the day before or after if they agree.  Do be prepared that even though they're "nice" people, letting you take that particular day off just might not be possible, so prepare Dad too, that even though you're very proud of him and really, really want to attend his special ceremony, you might not be able to make it.

He will understand.  It's not like you're spending his ceremony day going shoe shopping or sunbathing at the beach.

delabela

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2013, 09:37:36 PM »
I agree - and I don't know what type of job you have, but maybe you could offer to come in early or switch a day off to accommodate.  But I would not look sideways at someone who wanted one day in 2 months to attend an event for her father - it's understandable. 

Oh, and congrats!

DavidH

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2013, 07:12:41 PM »
I don't see harm in asking provided you accept whatever answer is given.  I'd make it clear that this isn't a I want to make a long weekend out of it, rather it's a one off special event.  Since you'll have accrued time off, I would just wait a few weeks into the job, so that they have time to form a positive opinion and the first thing you do when you arrive isn't asking for time off.

jpcher

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2013, 06:24:56 PM »
I don't see harm in asking provided you accept whatever answer is given.  I'd make it clear that this isn't a I want to make a long weekend out of it, rather it's a one off special event.  Since you'll have accrued time off, I would just wait a few weeks into the job, so that they have time to form a positive opinion and the first thing you do when you arrive isn't asking for time off.

Normally I would agree with the bold above, however the day off is a day where "many people are likely to was to take off as it is the day before a federal holiday weekend." Being a new employee, waiting a few weeks before asking for the time off will put her as low man on the "time-off" totem pole so it's very likely that she would not be given the time.



AylaM -- I agree with others that you should ask now, before your start date. Especially since it's two-months in advance.

EllenS

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Re: New job and an upcoming ceremony
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2013, 06:35:55 PM »
I agree with asking sooner rather than later, and bringing something to the table like making up hours, or even coming in over the weekend if appropriate, that you can offer as acknowledgement that this is an accomodation.

If you can figure a way to only make it a half-day, or a long lunch instead of a whole day off, that would be even better.
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