Author Topic: Something I just don't understand...  (Read 1430 times)

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MissBrit

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Something I just don't understand...
« on: January 08, 2007, 02:00:24 AM »
People claim that when someone tells a single person, like myself, that they need to "get a man" or "get laid" that they are just looking out for me and want me to be happy. I find this really rude because I am happy without a man. I never tell married people who's spouses I may not like to, "get a divorce" because that it's considered rude. I am perfectly happy being on my own. I am embarking on a new career in technical theatre at the moment and can't wait to finish my certificate and get work. I have close friends that I tell everything to and I'm pretty close with my family. I don't see why at this point in my life (I'm 26) that I need a man.

Does anyone else on here find it rude when people tell you to "get a man" if you're single or to "get laid" if you show the least bit of inkling of being uptight?

Gileswench

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2007, 02:15:35 AM »
It's exceptionally rude to try to tell someone their sex life is lacking, no matter whether it is or it isn't.

Minmom3

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2007, 02:36:48 AM »
<<Does anyone else on here find it rude when people tell you to "get a man">>

Heh.  Funny you should post this.  I had somebody tell me back in October/November that I needed 'some d!ck'.  That I needed to get laid, and blah blah blah.  She later admitted I turned beet red, so she KNEW good and well how angry she had made me...  She couldn't exactly tell me to get a man, as I've been married 23+ years. 

I was SO PO'd I wouldn't talk to her for a few weeks.  She got progressively more and more 'kiss-buttish' after that, and sent me a pseudo sweet sentimental email (of a kind I deeply dislike) and I finally laid it all out and told her chapter and verse how angry she had made me, how offended I was by what she had said leading up to her final words, and that I would never again be helping her on stuff as I had in the past, and that 'my friends do NOT speak to me that way.  Ever.  Didn't do it in high school in our crudest days, and don't do it now.  People who do that prove themselves to not be my friend.  And she was never again to ask me for classroom assistance.  If I were to do something that ticked her off, I expected her to be a grownup and come and tell me so directly, and we'd move on from there."

The next time I saw her, she said she didn't know I had it in me to lay it on the line like that.  I looked at her and said that I shouldn't have needed to do so.  See, I'm 51, and she's about 45 or so.    I though she was a nice friend.  Not deepest heart buddies, but friendly and trustworthy and adult.  Guess I thought wrong!  We're still amiable, but I no longer trust her.  Yes, she has family issues going on, but that doesn't justify what she did, IMHO, and I now treat her as a friendly acquaintance and no more than that.  I refuse to be more than that with somebody who angered me so badly.  It took me hours to calm down that night, and my family knew how angry I was - what kind of doormat behavior would I model for my girls if I let that kind of crap slide???  So, I stuck up for myself, even  while I hugely resented that I had to do so.

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Gigi

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2007, 03:26:19 AM »
These people need to get a brain, and get some manners!

Lauren

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2007, 09:10:28 AM »
This might be comments made among close friends (among three friends if one of us makes a comment that is deemed prudish the automatic response is "she SO needs a root right now!") but these are girls I'm extreemly close to. Anyone else? Beyond rude.

IndianInlaw

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2007, 09:23:05 AM »
Rude is being clueless about manners.

Disrespect is intentional.

They're idiots.

Bijou

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2007, 09:53:08 AM »
People claim that when someone tells a single person, like myself, that they need to "get a man" or "get laid" that they are just looking out for me and want me to be happy. I find this really rude because I am happy without a man. I never tell married people who's spouses I may not like to, "get a divorce" because that it's considered rude. I am perfectly happy being on my own. I am embarking on a new career in technical theatre at the moment and can't wait to finish my certificate and get work. I have close friends that I tell everything to and I'm pretty close with my family. I don't see why at this point in my life (I'm 26) that I need a man.

Does anyone else on here find it rude when people tell you to "get a man" if you're single or to "get laid" if you show the least bit of inkling of being uptight?
Yes and yes. I love your point about telling someone whose spouse you hate, to get a divorce.  You could say, "Look, I like your husband, but even if I didn't I wouldn't tell you you need to be divorced.  That would be none of my business!  So, why are you telling me I  need a man?"
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Pixie

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Re: Something I just don't understand...
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2007, 10:42:26 AM »
Those comments are childish, and should not be made by anyone older than age 10 or 12.     I will admit to telling someone once that I wished they would find some bliss and cheer up, but that's as far as I'll go.  I wouldn't tell someone to find a man, or have sex, as I have no idea what brings that person joy.... and its just plain rude.


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