Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Who is expected to help?

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English1:
Op here - I set BIL-who-never-lifts-a-finger to work the other day. He looked surprised but did it ok, with a few nudges on what exactly TO do. 

My parents had a bit of a health crisis and needed someone with them to help out at all times for a few days. Me and my OH turned up to relieve BIL of his turn 'on duty'. My sister wanted him to return to their home to do something, (she wasn't there) but he hung around anyway, much to sis's frustration. I knew perfectly well he was hanging around knowing we'd be cooking dinner and if he went home he'd have to sort himself out. Anyway, I got busy in kitchen, OH made a round of tea and came to cook with me (without being asked), BIL sat on sofa. I went in and told BIL to lay the table. He stopped after clearing stuff of table and getting place mats out. Prompted him to fetch plates, he did, then stopped. Prompted him to fetch glasses and cutlery, and he did.

Sis says he never does ANYTHING at home and she was a fool to let him get away with it for so many years, he just is incapable of it now, and she's dead jealous of my lovely new(ish) OH who just naturally pitches in. She thinks it's too late to change their ways...I say it's never too late.

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: English1 on October 22, 2013, 12:22:06 PM ---Op here - I set BIL-who-never-lifts-a-finger to work the other day. He looked surprised but did it ok, with a few nudges on what exactly TO do. 

My parents had a bit of a health crisis and needed someone with them to help out at all times for a few days. Me and my OH turned up to relieve BIL of his turn 'on duty'. My sister wanted him to return to their home to do something, (she wasn't there) but he hung around anyway, much to sis's frustration. I knew perfectly well he was hanging around knowing we'd be cooking dinner and if he went home he'd have to sort himself out. Anyway, I got busy in kitchen, OH made a round of tea and came to cook with me (without being asked), BIL sat on sofa. I went in and told BIL to lay the table. He stopped after clearing stuff of table and getting place mats out. Prompted him to fetch plates, he did, then stopped. Prompted him to fetch glasses and cutlery, and he did.

Sis says he never does ANYTHING at home and she was a fool to let him get away with it for so many years, he just is incapable of it now, and she's dead jealous of my lovely new(ish) OH who just naturally pitches in. She thinks it's too late to change their ways...I say it's never too late.

--- End quote ---

As long as she enables him and continues to think of his as an old dog, he won't change.

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