Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Who is expected to help?

<< < (2/8) > >>

Hmmmmm:
I'm in my late 40's. In my family and social groups, all men do an equal share. I have two newphews who are 26 & 29 and they both help out equally when guests or hosts.

My dad (WWII generation) liked to cook, so it was common for him to be in the kitchen or out bbqing for family or social get togethers. He'd also occasionally make the family dinner, though mom always laughed that his idea of making the family dinner was making the main and figuring that all the sides just magically appeared. But in Dad's family of origin, 9 siblings were all born between 1911-1930, the men sat as the women prepared and cleaned up the meal. But by the time I came along and started noticing these things, it was shifting even in their family. My mom only had 1 sister so that side was very small and they both only had girls. My aunts DH always helped out during family get togethers, probably even more than my dad did. I do remember him washing more dishes than I ever remember my Dad washing after family dinners.

WillyNilly:
In my family no one is supposed to help. The hosts, host, and the guests are just guests. For a casual dinner, maybe people help - usually its by age not gender with teenagers or younger adults being the ones expected to step up and help the 'hosts', but for holidays and stuff, whoever hosts pretty much is expected to take care of it all.

But then I live in NC with very small kitchens and dishwashers as standard. There really isn't room for people to help in the kitchen or a need to help cleaning up.

Amara:
Once we all became adults it was everyone's responsibility to pitch in on hosting occasions like holiday dinners where the family got together. And everyone did. We tried to ease the load on my parents and as they got older they were simply given "time off" and everyone did almost everything else from preparing dishes to bring to washing and putting away all the dishes and decorations to even starting laundry. It was centered on age and respect--making things easier for them not only because of their age but because we were so appreciative--and never on gender.

lady_disdain:
I only wish my parents would slow down. My mother insists on trying to do everything. If they come to my place, I can circumvent by having almost everything done beforehand (aka, dinner that has only to be placed in the oven, that sort of thing) but she insists on doing the dishes, so I won't have to.

Hmmmmm:

--- Quote from: WillyNilly on September 20, 2013, 12:45:21 PM ---In my family no one is supposed to help. The hosts, host, and the guests are just guests. For a casual dinner, maybe people help - usually its by age not gender with teenagers or younger adults being the ones expected to step up and help the 'hosts', but for holidays and stuff, whoever hosts pretty much is expected to take care of it all.

But then I live in NC with very small kitchens and dishwashers as standard. There really isn't room for people to help in the kitchen or a need to help cleaning up.

--- End quote ---
In your family if a heterosexual couple is hosting do they equally share the prep and clean up? Or is the female the one in the kitchen stacking the dishes while the male is entertaining the guests after the meal?

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version