At my mom's house, helping usually falls along gender lines, but not because of stereotypical roles; my mom, sister, and I have very similar approaches in the kitchen and intuitively know what goes where and how to manage the workflow. Same at my dad's, except it's my SIL working with my step-mom because they work well together. Our family's philosophy is mostly the host hosts, and the guests are guests. Help is accepted, if it is actually helpful, but is not expected or required.
At my house, I generally don't accept help in the kitchen (tiny, inconvenient layout), and task only my husband and daughter with other hosting duties.
At MIL's? It used to very much be divided among gender lines. I was expected to help, and there was much resentment on her side when I didn't offer, and on mine when I was told what to do. Especially when males were never, ever part of the process. I finally wised up, and when MIL told me to come in and help her, I told my husband, "hey, your mom needs some help in the kitchen." It didn't take long for the dynamic to shift, and now everyone is involved in helping.