Author Topic: Shopping for Dresses  (Read 2666 times)

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metallicafan

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Shopping for Dresses
« on: March 30, 2014, 03:52:09 PM »
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DH and I will be attending a formal event with his family in June.  MIL and I were talking about needing to go buy dresses.  She suggested that we go together, she wanted my input in finding a dress.  I am happy to go with her, we will make a day of it, shopping and lunch.

However, when it comes to finding MY dress, I would rather go alone.  I love my MIL dearly, I really do.  But, her taste and my taste are wildly different.  That coupled with the fact that she is not the complimentary type of person, makes me certain that I would come home feeling defeated instead of elated.
I am looking for a kind way to let her know that I would rather shop on my own for my dress.  I don't want to hurt her feelings, I am very close to my in laws.

Suggestions, please?

TootsNYC

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2014, 04:01:10 PM »
"I'm not in the mood to try on dresses today; I'll do it later. And we really won't have enough time for both of us."

EllenS

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2014, 04:39:43 PM »
"Let's just focus on you today. I'm in the zone/on a mission to find a great dress for you. I'll get mine some other time."

I'mnotinsane

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2014, 05:30:30 PM »
You could just happen to see the perfect dress while running another errand, couldn't you?  Of course this will be before your shopping trip with MIL.

checkitnice

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2014, 06:02:52 PM »
I would just focus on her that day.  I would imagine that the stores that carry "her" dresses might not carry "your" type of dresses?  Just make sure to steer toward "her" stores.  Any type of explanation or telling her that you'd rather not have her input for your dress might be too much for her to hear.

NyaChan

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2014, 06:05:21 PM »
If you can't find the dress before you go shopping with her, I'd just try to keep the focus on getting her dress.  If she asks about you, either say you are still considering what you want to wear/already have something picked out, or if she insists, try on something she likes and then say you aren't ready to make a decision. 

MrTango

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2014, 07:11:02 PM »
You could just say "I've already taken care of my dress."

doodlemor

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2014, 07:34:49 PM »
You could just happen to see the perfect dress while running another errand, couldn't you?  Of course this will be before your shopping trip with MIL.

That would be my Plan A.

Take2

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2014, 11:09:10 PM »
This is what I would do:

Schedule a date for dress shopping with her, maybe suggest early May so that summery styles are in all the stores but there is still time for alterations if needed. Shop like mad for the perfect dress for yourself in the meantime, I like the complimentary personal shopper at some nicer department stores for putting together a stunning ensemble with the hunting done for you if finding time is a concern. Then let MIL know that you just stumbled across an AMAZING deal on the PERFECT dress for yourself and you couldn't pass it up. Perhaps it was on a sale rack you passed headed to look at shoes for your child or something. But you still really would love to do your planned outing, and now you can focus exclusively on finding her the very best dress in the world, it will be so much fun!

auntmeegs

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2014, 03:08:09 PM »
Uh...didn't you already get your dress (wink, wink) and can therefore dedicate the shopping trip to finding her dress?

sweetonsno

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Re: Shopping for Dresses
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2014, 04:47:32 PM »
I love all of these ideas. Just recast it as you wanting to focus on finding her dress on this trip. If you find a dress for yourself in the meantime, great! If she insists on shopping for you, ask for her help finding something innocuous, like a simple but elegant necklace that you can wear.

I also think this shopping trip might be a good opportunity to discuss your needs/preferences for a shopping companion. For instance, you can ask her whether she prefers to hear something more direct ("That dress looks frumpy") or something more indirect ("I prefer the other one" or "I think you look better in something a bit more tailored"). Then you can explain what you prefer: "I sometimes have a hard time separating a criticism of a dress with a criticism of me, so I like comments that focus on the styles that look good rather than the styles that look bad." If this type of comment would work within your relationship, you can tell her directly that sometimes her feedback misfires: " You've got such a good eye for detail, but sometimes after I've tried on ten dresses and only heard what is wrong with them, I feel really discouraged."