Author Topic: Nope, that person is still not here- updated with new question at end.  (Read 6974 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #15 on: September 23, 2013, 12:56:05 PM »
Given your update, OP, I don't think it's that the guy doesn't respect you.

he's just completely disorganized. It's not a matter of being tech savvy--it's a matter of having organized thinking.

I totally see your point about wanting to see the screw-ups, so you're "in" the community more. Go I agree w/ GratefulMaria--set his emails to forward, so your DH can see them too. Then you can safely ignore the work ones. Might lessen the annoyance factor.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2013, 01:04:37 PM »
You've already replied to him several times with the correct information.  From now on, I'd just delete the emails.

This. My feeling is, if someone continually does something wrong, like this, in spite of being told its not the correct thing to do, then I'm not wasting any more of MY time on the issue.Yes, I could be nice and either keep forwarding to the correct person, or set something up where it automatically does that, but I shouldn't have to.

I've made a reasonable effort to communicate and given the person ample opportunity to fix what's wrong, and if they continue doing the wrong thing, then they can deal with the consequences of it.

GreenBird

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2013, 01:17:49 PM »
From the update, it sounds to me like Bob thinks email is "announce only", as in he sends outgoing emails but never reads incoming ones.  So if you really want him to change, I think calling to correct him over the phone every.single.time is your best bet.  But it's also annoying for you to have to do that, so I'd tend to autoforward everything to your husband and make it your husband's job to let you know if there's anything you need to know.  They're your husband's work emails, so he's the best one to filter them anyway.  (The option of just deleting all the emails sounds good too, but I wouldn't do that if it may negatively impact your husband's work for him to miss out on info.) 


sammycat

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #18 on: September 23, 2013, 08:12:42 PM »
You've already replied to him several times with the correct information.  From now on, I'd just delete the emails.

This. My feeling is, if someone continually does something wrong, like this, in spite of being told its not the correct thing to do, then I'm not wasting any more of MY time on the issue.Yes, I could be nice and either keep forwarding to the correct person, or set something up where it automatically does that, but I shouldn't have to.

I've made a reasonable effort to communicate and given the person ample opportunity to fix what's wrong, and if they continue doing the wrong thing, then they can deal with the consequences of it.

I agree.

bopper

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #19 on: September 23, 2013, 10:36:05 PM »
Respond to the email:

"Bob, I have deleted the email as it may contain confidential information since this is a work related matter.  My husband's email is: blah@blah.com. I will not be forwarding any work email meant for him but will delete it directly so as not to breach any privacy."

Danika

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2013, 01:44:14 AM »
I had a situation like this a few years ago and I handled it the way several PPs have suggested. My parents were longtime friends with John. My mother has email, my father does not. John would email my mother's email address to send them jokes or political rants. Somehow, he got a hold of my email address. I was working a ton and was getting about 300 emails a day at work, and at home and didn't want any extra emails. For some reason, I'd get email jokes or political rants from him. An added bonus is that I don't agree with him on many political topics so I'd get irritated reading them, too.

I replied to him and asked him why he was sending these things to me. I mentioned, politely, that I already got too many emails a day and requested to all of my friends that they not send me jokes or political things. He replied that he was writing to me because for some reason, my mother wasn't getting his emails. As if his jokes were of the utmost importance. No one else I knew had trouble sending my mother email. Her email provider was reliable. He was requesting that I forward them to her, even though I could see her email address on his "To:" line.

Several times, I forwarded them to her and replied to him with her correct email address. He continued. Several times, I told him that I just didn't have time for more jokes, or to be forwarding things for him. He continued. Several times, I replied to both him and my mom with her correct email address. He continued.

I was in your position. I finally just blocked his email address from my account. That was it. I said no more. I saw him at other family events and he never said anything about it. I don't know what happened. About a year later, I upgraded my computer, so I had the same email address but a new version of MS Outlook and no filter blocking his email address. I never got any more emails from him.

So he learned his lesson through my actions, because he wasn't listening to my words. I still don't know why he was sending things to me. I don't know if he wanted to convert me to his political viewpoints or what was going on. But my method was effective.

Mainly, I was insulted that he was blatantly disrespecting my requests. He was disrespecting my time, abusing my politeness, and misusing my assets (my email and bandwidth) and none of it was respectful. That's why I finally just blocked him. I found him to be rude, in that way, and I wasn't going to try to find the good, or give him the benefit of the doubt any longer.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2013, 07:03:47 AM »
I would respond or reply one more time in bold letters.

BOB, I HAVE TOLD/EMAILED YOU NUMEROUS TIMES REGARDING EMAILS YOU ARE SENDING TO ME THAT SHOULD BE SENT TO MR. --------, YET I STILL KEEP GETTING EMAILS.  THIS IS THE LAST WARNING.  ANY EMAILS I RECEIVE FROM NOW, IN REGARDS TO MR.'S JOB, FROM NOW ON WILL BE DELETED.

I say type it bold, so there is no way he can miss this in an email.  Or you could do regular type with bold and in a color or just bold.

Then, I would do as directed.  Delete.  Or block him.

scansons

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here (update and another question)
« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2013, 11:11:35 AM »
Just after I got all this good advice, I went out to the school twice during the day.  The first time to read to my son's class.  (Teacher encourages parents to come to the class room.  Which is great.)  Was not greeted by Bob when he saw me.  All the rest of the staff that saw me greeted me politely.  Including the lunch ladies who are very sweet.  Then he came up and barked at me while I was in line at lunch (i.e. infront of my son's class) because he wanted to know if I was eating school lunch that day.  I was not.  No "hello".  No pleasantries.  Nothing. 

Second, time I was out there to drop something off for Son.  Again everyone else is pleasant and helpful.  Bob grunted at my greeting.  Witnessed him hollering (not meanly) at the Secretary across the hall while sitting in his office so basically anyone could have heard him. 

After I was out there the second time Bob emailed me again with the agenda for a meeting that he intended for DH.  I replied:  I don't see my name on this agenda.  Did you need me at the board meeting?"    No reply.  No apology.  nothing.   

I'm headed out to read again today.  Suggestions?  I don't like allowing him to just be rude to me.  But I've barely dealt with the man, and I don't think I've been rude.  I've certainly tried not to be. 

ETA:  Have seen other parents treated in the same way.  DH says Bob is "barely civil" to him.  So I really don't think it is personal. 
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 11:31:13 AM by scansons »

m2kbug

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here- updated with new question at end.
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2013, 11:37:10 AM »
Are any of these emails confidential or information sensitive?  This is the issue that popped into my head.  His administrative and work-related emails should not be going to you or any of the other "random parents," and he needs to be careful about what he's sending to whom.  I've gotten a couple of misdirected emails since my child was once in a teacher's class, and while nothing was confidential or sensitive, what if it was?  This would make it even more important that Bob start paying attention.

Outside of that, I have nothing else to offer that hasn't already been said.

I don't know what to think of Bob's behavior.  Is he acting this way because you keep trying to redirect his emails to your husband?

lowspark

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here- updated with new question at end.
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2013, 11:43:31 AM »
This man is a rude boor. Why do you continue to give him any consideration at all? I'd just quit replying to any of his emails that don't directly affect me. As for his rude behavior toward you in person, I'd give one word answers, if absolutely necessary, and turn away.

JenJay

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here- updated with new question at end.
« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2013, 12:17:51 PM »
I'd have DH email him and say "Hey Bob, please add me to your address book and send all work-related emails to this account. Scansons' email account is fine for parent comminications but if it's regarding me and work it needs to be sent to this address to ensure I get it ASAP. Thanks."

Then whenever he sent anything for DH I'd reply "DH doesn't have access to this account. You can reach him at X." and that is all I would say. If he persisted I'd ask DH to consider ignoring an email or two to reinforce to Bob that he won't get info sent to you. The first time he called with "Where are you? We had a meeting at 5 and it's almost 6!" DH can say "A meeting? I did't know that? Did you email ME? Scansons hasn't been online much lately so if you emailed the wrong account I didn't get it."

P12663

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here (update and another question)
« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2013, 10:52:39 PM »
-snip-

After I was out there the second time Bob emailed me again with the agenda for a meeting that he intended for DH.  I replied:  I don't see my name on this agenda.  Did you need me at the board meeting?"    No reply.  No apology.  nothing.   

-snip-

I kind of like this.  Respond to each email as if it were meant for you.  Perhaps even show up for a meeting.

Another option might be meeting with the secretary and asking her(?) to adjust Bob's address book, since he won't/can't.  Assuming that that is something she can do.

By the by - does your husband want you to continue forwarding the emails or is he fine with you ignoring and/or deleting them?

scansons

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here (update and another question)
« Reply #27 on: December 06, 2013, 10:58:34 PM »
-snip-

After I was out there the second time Bob emailed me again with the agenda for a meeting that he intended for DH.  I replied:  I don't see my name on this agenda.  Did you need me at the board meeting?"    No reply.  No apology.  nothing.   

-snip-

I kind of like this.  Respond to each email as if it were meant for you.  Perhaps even show up for a meeting.

Another option might be meeting with the secretary and asking her(?) to adjust Bob's address book, since he won't/can't.  Assuming that that is something she can do.

By the by - does your husband want you to continue forwarding the emails or is he fine with you ignoring and/or deleting them?

He's fine with me ignoring them, in as much as I don't need to reply to Bob.  But I do need to at least let him know before deleting them, on the off chance it is something major. 

Someone else asked about sensitive information.  As far as I know, he's never sent anything to anyone that was sensitive and not for their eyes.  But I don't know everything that's gone on. 

Danika

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here
« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2013, 03:20:21 PM »
I'm headed out to read again today.  Suggestions?  I don't like allowing him to just be rude to me.  But I've barely dealt with the man, and I don't think I've been rude.  I've certainly tried not to be. 

ETA:  Have seen other parents treated in the same way.  DH says Bob is "barely civil" to him.  So I really don't think it is personal.

Bob clearly has bad social skills.

Personally, I think you've done more than enough. I would just delete all his emails going forward and say nothing else.

But if you're curious as to why you're on his distro list and not your husband, then the next time you're near Bob, you can go up to him and say "Hi Bob" cheerfully. It sounds like you'll probably get a grunt as a reply. And then you can look at him directly and ask "Why do you keep me on your email distro list when it sounds like I shouldn't be involved in these meetings you all are organizing?" And just see what he says.

Is your last name the same as your husband's? I think menley was probably right about the following:
I had this happen once with someone who didn't clear out their email auto-complete list, so every time she typed in "me", for example, "menley@wrongaddress.com" would automatically pop up and she'd just hit enter. She would always ignore the bounced back e-mails and then get mad at me for not responding to her e-mail that I never got :) Is it possible that Bob is doing something similar? For example, just typing in the last name and your e-mail comes up first instead of your husband's?

gramma dishes

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Re: Nope, that person is still not here- updated with new question at end.
« Reply #29 on: December 07, 2013, 03:43:44 PM »
How did Bob get to be in an administrative position?  He sounds incredibly disorganized and not exactly the brightest bulb in the box to boot!  ???