Author Topic: Do you think this is odd?  (Read 5532 times)

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quietgirl

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Do you think this is odd?
« on: September 23, 2013, 04:18:11 PM »
I don't think it's rude per se, but it does seem a little odd to me.  I was interested in what my fellow ehellions would think.

I added an event to fb last week.  The invite was for an evening at a popular place to paint and drink wine.  I had two friends that wanted to go and I thought it would be easier than texting back and forth.  I didn't make it a private invite because I figured the other two might want to invite friends and potentially some of our mutual friends might see it and want to come.  I figured we'd invite our mutual friends anyway, but this way we wouldn't have to rehash all the details.

On the invite were just 3 people: Jane, Tina, and me.  Before Jane or Tina even responded a fb friend of mine who does not know either of the other two RSVP'd that she was coming. 

Now, I understand that the fb event was public.  I suppose she saw it in her newsfeed, thought "Cool, that's fun!" and RSVP'd.  But I think it's weird that she RSVP'd to an event that she wasn't invited to and that she didn't know either of the other attendees.  I mean, I did make it public purposely so that people that weren't formally invited could attend.  I just didn't expect someone from outside of that circle to want to attend. 

Does anyone else think this is odd?  Or does this happen all the time? 

PS.  I did immediately change the invite to private, but I didn't kick her out.  It's fine that she comes. 

amylouky

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2013, 04:28:02 PM »
Facebook is really weird with events and invites. I get things all the time that are "suggested events" that my friends are attending. Sometimes it's not really c lear that you haven't actually been invited to the event. So I think I'd give your friend a pass on this, she probably thought you were inviting her.

Sophia

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2013, 04:30:14 PM »
plus it sounds like fun.  Painting and drinking.  What could go wrong?

PastryGoddess

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2013, 04:38:18 PM »
I've had that happen to me, except I was the friend.  One of my mutual friends has a bunco night every so often.  I usually don't see the events, but somehow it got put on my timeline.  Once I looked at the event and noticed I didn't know anyone, I ignored the thread.

TurtleDove

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2013, 04:46:22 PM »
I think your friend, actually correctly, assumed she was welcome at the event since it was public. To avoid confusion make the event private and add just the people you want to see it.

sweetonsno

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2013, 04:48:36 PM »
No, I don't think it's weird for her to RSVP. This is more a case of you misunderstanding FB settings than her misunderstanding the invitation, IMO. When you create a "public" event, you're issuing an open invitation to that event.

I think that for future events, it would be easier to just send a group PM to the people who you want to attend, or create a private event and add your two friends as organizers so they can invite others.

Judah

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2013, 05:19:30 PM »
No, I don't think it's weird for her to RSVP. This is more a case of you misunderstanding FB settings than her misunderstanding the invitation, IMO. When you create a "public" event, you're issuing an open invitation to that event.

I think that for future events, it would be easier to just send a group PM to the people who you want to attend, or create a private event and add your two friends as organizers so they can invite others.

I agree. I don't see how your friend could have been wrong, or even weird, to RSVP to an event that was made public. That's how public events work. 
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menley

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2013, 05:24:17 PM »
Honestly, I wouldn't have done it myself and thus I think it's a little weird :)

However, I do see how she could see a public event and a friend who posted it and think, hmm, fun!

It's not really rude, or bizarre, but it's something I personally wouldn't have done.

WillyNilly

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2013, 05:33:47 PM »
I see how and why you think it was weird, but ultimately i don't think it was. I think its more about how everyone uses Facebook a bit differently.

For example, I am only FB friends with people I know in real life, and I tend to use my feed as a sort of personal news line - if I have news I'd like to share I post, and I read it to get news on people I my life.

But my DH for example, has several hundred FB friends, some are just friend-of-a-friend people who he has never met, etc. He uses Facebook to promote his bands and his friend's band's shows, and posts articles he finds interesting, etc.

So for me, I probably wouldn't post a friend outing as something public, any public event would be specifically billed as such, like a "Community Earth Day Event!" But my DH will post stuff on upcoming shows, or comment on other people's events to get the event to show up in people's newsfeeds, as a way to promote the event. Sure the bands invite all their friends and fans, but they are happy - eager in fact - to have new faces come, so these public events are truly public.

Someone who is used to seeing public events that are posted as public specifically to get more then just the invited audience are not going to intuitively realize that other people might post events that are actually just personal outings between a small group of specific invitees.

Surianne

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2013, 06:53:46 PM »
No, I don't think it's weird for her to RSVP. This is more a case of you misunderstanding FB settings than her misunderstanding the invitation, IMO. When you create a "public" event, you're issuing an open invitation to that event.

I think that for future events, it would be easier to just send a group PM to the people who you want to attend, or create a private event and add your two friends as organizers so they can invite others.

I agree. I don't see how your friend could have been wrong, or even weird, to RSVP to an event that was made public. That's how public events work.

I agree, this is perfectly normal behaviour to me, and if I saw a public event, I'd assume it was because the organizer wanted anyone to be able to sign up.

blarg314

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2013, 08:34:06 PM »
  I didn't make it a private invite because I figured the other two might want to invite friends and potentially some of our mutual friends might see it and want to come.  I figured we'd invite our mutual friends anyway, but this way we wouldn't have to rehash all the details.

This sounds a bit confusing - you were expecting mutual friends to see the event and ask to come, but expected this particular Facebook friend to realize that the event wasn't intended for her? If you're posting something with the idea that people will see it and want to join in, then will apply to everyone who sees the event posting.

Iris

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2013, 08:42:41 PM »
Facebook handles public events really weirdly at times. I once got an 'event notification' from a fb friend pop up in my news feed with the "accept, deny"etc buttons below. I thought it was slightly odd because it was from an old friend whose life has taken a different path to mine, so we don't often socialise irl anymore. I had to go to something like 3 different windows before I confirmed that no, I wasn't actually invited to said event.

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Tea Drinker

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2013, 09:06:16 PM »
Given that she's someone you know, it doesn't seem weird--if a friend of mine says they're organizing something or having people over for X occasion, I don't necessarily check on who else is likely to be there. (In fact, that's sometimes considered impolite, at least if it's more specific than "is this going to be a big occasion?" or "I'd be delighted. Do you know whether anyone might be willing to give me a ride if I pay the tolls?")
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esposita

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2013, 08:37:07 AM »
No, I don't think it's weird for her to RSVP. This is more a case of you misunderstanding FB settings than her misunderstanding the invitation, IMO. When you create a "public" event, you're issuing an open invitation to that event.

I think that for future events, it would be easier to just send a group PM to the people who you want to attend, or create a private event and add your two friends as organizers so they can invite others.

I agree. I don't see how your friend could have been wrong, or even weird, to RSVP to an event that was made public. That's how public events work.

I agree, this is perfectly normal behaviour to me, and if I saw a public event, I'd assume it was because the organizer wanted anyone to be able to sign up.

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Zilla

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Re: Do you think this is odd?
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2013, 09:25:12 AM »
I don't think it's rude per se, but it does seem a little odd to me.  I was interested in what my fellow ehellions would think.

I added an event to fb last week.  The invite was for an evening at a popular place to paint and drink wine.  I had two friends that wanted to go and I thought it would be easier than texting back and forth.  I didn't make it a private invite because I figured the other two might want to invite friends and potentially some of our mutual friends might see it and want to come. I figured we'd invite our mutual friends anyway, but this way we wouldn't have to rehash all the details.

On the invite were just 3 people: Jane, Tina, and me.  Before Jane or Tina even responded a fb friend of mine who does not know either of the other two RSVP'd that she was coming. 

Now, I understand that the fb event was public.  I suppose she saw it in her newsfeed, thought "Cool, that's fun!" and RSVP'd.  But I think it's weird that she RSVP'd to an event that she wasn't invited to and that she didn't know either of the other attendees.  I mean, I did make it public purposely so that people that weren't formally invited could attend.  I just didn't expect someone from outside of that circle to want to attend. 

Does anyone else think this is odd?  Or does this happen all the time? 

PS.  I did immediately change the invite to private, but I didn't kick her out.  It's fine that she comes.


The bolded is where you made a mistake, you didn't specify which mutual friends.  When you expose your invite to your entire friend's list, you are inviting them all and sundry.  If you wanted it to be only for mutual friends, you should have restricted to that pool of mutual friends and added, "Please feel free to add whomever else you wish to attend this." (with whatever wording)