Author Topic: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!  (Read 17425 times)

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Isilleke

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume...
« Reply #60 on: September 26, 2013, 07:09:40 PM »
I have to admit I disagree a little.

I would go further with this because obviously her perfume is bothering you. Maybe she is trying to get back at you for the bathroom incident, but maybe she's speaking the truth. You yourself say that you can still smell your perfume at the end of the day, so it is plausible that what you perceive as a nice and subtle fragrance is disturbing others. So what I would do is to indeed stop wearing yours, but at the same time tell your boss and if it's necessary HR that you won't accept her perfume either since it is bothering you and others. If you do include the others make sure they are willing to speak up of course!

YummyMummy66

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume...
« Reply #61 on: September 26, 2013, 07:24:25 PM »
I'm sorry, but I would be telling boss, fine, I will no longer wear perfume, but I expect you to tell Carla to do the same or I see a possible discrimination situation here.

donnamos2

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE!!!
« Reply #62 on: September 26, 2013, 07:59:51 PM »
So, I decided that I would pretend like I thought this was a ridiculous joke.  I haven't changed anything, I still spritz my undies every morning...

Carla has been hovering, and acting very agitated.  When I said this seemed very high-school-ish, I wasn't kidding.  It's like she's dying for me to say something to her about it, and I've stayed all work-focused and upbeat.  So much so, I'm almost perky.  I've actually had to ask her if she needed something, because she stands in my office door and takes deep breaths in through her nose and then heavily sighs.  I guess she can tell I'm still wearing my perfume and is expressing extreme disappointment in me.

I'm all about being a team player, but I decided that rolling over on this would set a very bad precedent.  I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but neither Carla nor my boss know that.  Once I thought about it, I have nothing to lose by not only not complying but not making a stand either.  Carla and my boss must know how ridiculous this would sound to HR, so I figure they would probably be wary about bringing it up again. 

I think that Carla wanted to throw her weight around, my boss didn't want to be bothered, and I've just shown Carla that I won't be bullied.  And all without saying a word.  We'll see if this lasts, but I'm hoping it's over.

Otterpop

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE!!!
« Reply #63 on: September 26, 2013, 09:07:18 PM »
So, I decided that I would pretend like I thought this was a ridiculous joke.  I haven't changed anything, I still spritz my undies every morning...

Carla has been hovering, and acting very agitated.  When I said this seemed very high-school-ish, I wasn't kidding.  It's like she's dying for me to say something to her about it, and I've stayed all work-focused and upbeat.  So much so, I'm almost perky.  I've actually had to ask her if she needed something, because she stands in my office door and takes deep breaths in through her nose and then heavily sighs.  I guess she can tell I'm still wearing my perfume and is expressing extreme disappointment in me.

I'm all about being a team player, but I decided that rolling over on this would set a very bad precedent.  I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but neither Carla nor my boss know that.  Once I thought about it, I have nothing to lose by not only not complying but not making a stand either.  Carla and my boss must know how ridiculous this would sound to HR, so I figure they would probably be wary about bringing it up again. 

I think that Carla wanted to throw her weight around, my boss didn't want to be bothered, and I've just shown Carla that I won't be bullied.  And all without saying a word.  We'll see if this lasts, but I'm hoping it's over.

I think your doing the exact right thing.  Appeasing a bully only makes them ask for more.  Carla also sounds like a nutball.

(The have a "no perfume" policy at DH's work because there are so many sensitive people that HR couldn't handle all the complaints.  It fair because no one can wear it.  Your boss asking just YOU to quit is crazy.)

EllenS

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE!!!
« Reply #64 on: September 26, 2013, 09:15:14 PM »
So, I decided that I would pretend like I thought this was a ridiculous joke.  I haven't changed anything, I still spritz my undies every morning...

Carla has been hovering, and acting very agitated.  When I said this seemed very high-school-ish, I wasn't kidding.  It's like she's dying for me to say something to her about it, and I've stayed all work-focused and upbeat.  So much so, I'm almost perky.  I've actually had to ask her if she needed something, because she stands in my office door and takes deep breaths in through her nose and then heavily sighs.  I guess she can tell I'm still wearing my perfume and is expressing extreme disappointment in me.

I'm all about being a team player, but I decided that rolling over on this would set a very bad precedent.  I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but neither Carla nor my boss know that.  Once I thought about it, I have nothing to lose by not only not complying but not making a stand either.  Carla and my boss must know how ridiculous this would sound to HR, so I figure they would probably be wary about bringing it up again. 

I think that Carla wanted to throw her weight around, my boss didn't want to be bothered, and I've just shown Carla that I won't be bullied.  And all without saying a word.  We'll see if this lasts, but I'm hoping it's over.

If Carla keeps going down this road, she is going to wind up in a professional darwinism thread. This is nuts.
I think minding your own beeswax is the right way to go.

johelenc1

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #65 on: September 26, 2013, 10:08:34 PM »
When I first read the OP, I thought the boss was saying it was making her (the boss) sick.  Then I realized Carla was the one complaining about being sick!!  Are you kidding me?  She is getting sick because of the perfumes and her solution is for YOU to stop wearing perfume and her to do....nothing!  That is just insane.

Hold your ground OP!

GrammarNerd

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #66 on: September 26, 2013, 10:43:24 PM »
I love it!  Isn't it great when you can make a point and take a stand by doing....nothing?  And it's absolutely wonderful that you know you're getting to her, when you can see her being all passive/aggressive.  But the beauty is that she can't do anything about it!  You have SO much power here, and all she has the opportunity to do is dig herself into a REALLY big hole!

AmethystAnne

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #67 on: September 28, 2013, 10:32:30 AM »
OP, I like your update. And I love your style of ignoring the silly request and being perky in all your dealings.

She must think she is something special, hanging out at your doorway, sniffing deeply. She is wasting company time being all slightly P/A about it.

And if she makes a big stink  ::) about your fragrance by going to your boss again, could you say in a perky tone of voice and a smile on your lips, "I will if she will"  ;D


Carotte

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #68 on: September 28, 2013, 07:21:27 PM »
Good update :)
Now just for the sake of peace of mind, do keep note and track of things if you start feeling like she'll try to escalate things and you're good to keep on wearing your perfume.

rain

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #69 on: September 29, 2013, 07:51:05 AM »
 >:D  my thought is that if she complains again is ask then why has she been hovering by your office, rather than working


shoot - if she keeps hovering, start keeping track of the time & bring it up to boss
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #70 on: September 29, 2013, 08:36:40 AM »
For what it's worth, I can still smell my perfume at the end of the day, but it's light even when it goes on.  At least that's the case for my favorite.  I have another one that's a little heavier and that I can smell all the day long but I don't wear it as often.
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Cherry91

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #71 on: September 30, 2013, 11:16:27 AM »
I fully support calling your manager/Carla's bluff - either he'll balk at actually having to document such a rediculous situation to HR, or you'll both get called to HR and they'll quickly realise who the REAL problem is.

Carla sounds like a piece of work. EvilCherry almost wishes you'd had the chance to respond when she called you a drama queen

hobish

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE!!!
« Reply #72 on: September 30, 2013, 03:46:05 PM »
So, I decided that I would pretend like I thought this was a ridiculous joke.  I haven't changed anything, I still spritz my undies every morning...

Carla has been hovering, and acting very agitated.  When I said this seemed very high-school-ish, I wasn't kidding.  It's like she's dying for me to say something to her about it, and I've stayed all work-focused and upbeat.  So much so, I'm almost perky.  I've actually had to ask her if she needed something, because she stands in my office door and takes deep breaths in through her nose and then heavily sighs.  I guess she can tell I'm still wearing my perfume and is expressing extreme disappointment in me.

I'm all about being a team player, but I decided that rolling over on this would set a very bad precedent.  I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but neither Carla nor my boss know that.  Once I thought about it, I have nothing to lose by not only not complying but not making a stand either.  Carla and my boss must know how ridiculous this would sound to HR, so I figure they would probably be wary about bringing it up again. 

I think that Carla wanted to throw her weight around, my boss didn't want to be bothered, and I've just shown Carla that I won't be bullied.  And all without saying a word.  We'll see if this lasts, but I'm hoping it's over.

That is great. I like your style.
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Oh Joy

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume...
« Reply #73 on: October 03, 2013, 01:48:10 PM »
I have to admit I disagree a little.

I would go further with this because obviously her perfume is bothering you. Maybe she is trying to get back at you for the bathroom incident, but maybe she's speaking the truth. You yourself say that you can still smell your perfume at the end of the day, so it is plausible that what you perceive as a nice and subtle fragrance is disturbing others. So what I would do is to indeed stop wearing yours, but at the same time tell your boss and if it's necessary HR that you won't accept her perfume either since it is bothering you and others. If you do include the others make sure they are willing to speak up of course!

Yup.  I know that the dynamics between you and Carla are a separate issue from the scents themselves, but I do urge you to keep an open mind about your fragrance and how accustomed we grow to familiar scents.

I'm posting in this thread again because my nanny unintentionally reminded me of it today and I think it's a good illustration.  I cannot smell her perfume when we're in the same room and assume she applies it in a reasonable amount before driving to our home, but I notice her scent on my infant at the end of the day.  More remarkably, this morning as we stood catching up on the day, we made a game of 'flying' the baby back and forth between us.  It's almost three hours later and I'm constantly distracted by the smell of her rising from my cardigan.

Kind of like changing deodorant or dryer sheets...so very noticeable the first couple of days, then they fly completely below your radar...

Surianne

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Re: It's Not The Amount of Perfume... UPDATE, p. 62!
« Reply #74 on: October 03, 2013, 08:25:52 PM »
I agree, I hope the OP will use this incident as a starting point to think about her own scent, whether others can smell it, and whether it's necessary to use perfume at work when it may be bothering her coworkers.