Thank you everyone for the valuable input. I have decided to just lay low as far as my brother and his wife are concerned. He's phoned me a couple of times and I've chosen not to answer (thank you , call display! ) and since I'll be away for Thanksgiving, I won't have to deal with him much until Christmas.
He just keeps showing me how wise this decision is! My mom was in the hospital for the last week and he showed up once. Out of eight days he only managed a half hour visit. He has very flexible hours at work, his wife is a SAHM, and a half hour was the best he could manage.
I just don't understand how we got to this point, considering a year ago he was one of my best friends.
As far as the name thing goes, I think if he had chosen a name in honor of someone or something, or even if he had been honest with us all, it wouldn't feel like such a big deal, but I found out at work when I saw one of his business cards left in the break room with his business flyer. My mom had no idea at all.
I will probably answer if he calls this week, just to find out how the Peanut is doing but I very much fear that the close, sharing relationship
we had is gone.
Thanks again! It's wonderful to have this sounding board of unbiased third parties to share with!