I would be most grateful for some help here, and it's a bit time sensitive.
Background: I suggested to a friend of mine that we get together for a particular outdoor activity, and she had the idea that in order to do this, we should go away for a few days and go camping. I was thinking more of doing it as a day thing, but I liked the idea of going away for a few days. We went over our calendars and picked some dates. I told my husband I wanted to go away with this friend for those days.
So that sounded great. But then my friend texted me today and said, "I hope you don't mind, but.." and said she felt she had to invite a friend of hers from her work to come along, because the camping destination is "their special thing" to do as friends and they didn't manage to do it this summer and time is running out as it's getting cold at night for camping and this other person is "great at camping." (Note: I have camped a lot, so I have all the equipment, am well-versed at putting up a tent & cooking on a camping stove, etc..).
Now I just don't feel like going. I have met this other person, and she's always come off to me as brusque and a bit bossy. But I've never interacted with her a great deal, so perhaps under that exterior she might be one of the most fabulous people around. having said that, I don't feel like sleeping in a tent with her. And if it's "their special thing", then I think I'll feel like a third wheel. I don't feel like I'll be comfortable.
To add to this, it makes me feel a bit pathetic. I feel that a normal person would not react like me and would be more outgoing and friendly than me and would figure that "the more, the merrier." I was told that by an ex before when I was unhappy that people I didn't know were invited along on a trip, and it's stuck with me. I feel also that when I break off plans, I will hurt my friend's feelings. But I've been under a lot of stress this year and am seeing a psychiatrist, and under my psychiatrist's advice I'm supposed to be avoiding situations where I feel socially rejected. Going away with someone I don't know who doesn't feel like a warm, welcoming person feels like a risk for me... and it was supposed to be a fun, relaxing getaway. Sigh.
Any suggestions? I suppose I should tell a white lie and say that some family stuff has come up, my husband doesn't want me to go, blah blah blah... I don't like being dishonest, but I don't want to come out and say, "I don't want to go with your friend and I can't believe you invited someone else without asking!"