General Etiquette > Techno-quette

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stargazer:
I thought you cut off your brother.  Why would you want to be even facebook friends with any of them?  I agree that it sounds like some counseling would help with your self esteem and hopefully your husband as well. 

mrkitty:
Oh, yes. He's thrown that in my face more than once. But he did suffer greatly last night for it; yessiree he surely did. I'm always getting one guilt trip or another from someone. But he was very contrite and apologetic this morning. I think he gets it now, how much I have been hurting (not just this one facebook thing but in general) and he promised to do what he could to support my efforts to find some help.

And, I did go ahead and delete the sister-in-law from DH's husband's account. In her defense, (not that I think she deserves one, necessarily, because of all the stuff from before) but I happened upon a request in my email inbox from someone else that I never noticed, so I'm going to say that I think there is some quirk either with facebook or my email system where requests can "get lost" in cyberspace. However, given everything that had transpired previously, I don't really care which one it is anymore.

It's funny you should use that analogy, BarensMom. Very apt. These days I have rather felt much like a bull - seeing red everywhere.  >:D I think last night I even had steam coming out of my ears.  Time to seek relief.

P.S. You're right too, Stargazer. You called me out. I held out, but broke down and called him last night because I was so mad. Wish I hadn't done that. Yes, some self esteem would be good here. :)

poundcake:

--- Quote from: BarensMom on September 24, 2013, 10:28:02 AM ---OP, your post has more red flags than a bullfight.

Why in the world would you want to even be FB friends with anyone in your brother's family after he and his daughter made it clear you only exist to be their personal ATM?  As for your husband being FB friends with the SIL, just go on there yourself and block the (redacted).  He probably wouldn't notice or care.

As far as your husband throwing the "I make the money" into your face, that's just reprehensible.  My husband did that.  Once.  He suffered greatly and for a very long time for that little remark.

--- End quote ---

This.

You need counseling, and you need time to heal, mrkitty. And you need your husband to be supportive. I think this goes way beyond an etiquette issue regarding FB, and is more about you creating a safe environment in which to deal with some significant traumas. I'd vote for you and hubby cutting these people out of your life for now, and possibly for good, so you can focus. It's not worth it to maintain whatever relationship either of you thinks you're maintaining, and frankly, my Spidey Sense is tingling like crazy.

Wordgeek:
Sympathies to the OP, but this matter is beyond the purview of an Internet forum on etiquette.

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