Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Hosting friend with food issues

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Two Ravens:

--- Quote from: Dragonflymom on September 24, 2013, 10:28:59 AM ---er diet is confusing to follow and accommodate.  Sometimes I will make what I assume is a fairly healthy meal  (scrambled eggs with veggies, serving naan bread on the side so she can choose to eat it or not), only to have her bring a bag of potato chips.  Several times I've gotten both regular pizza and thin crust to accommodate her needs, and she's eaten the thick crust.  So I assumed she was not doing the low carb thing so much anymore, and the last time she came over I made a very healthy, low fat, low calorie dish of fresh vegetables and some rice noodles.  Only to have her tell me "This is really carby Dragonflymom."  It almost made me cry.

--- End quote ---

Did you call her out on this? Ask her why she ate the deep dish pizza last time?

I think you are trying to hard to accommodate her. Prepare one hearty low-carb dish, and if she says anything, tell her, "Well, I made the [salad, porkchops, whatever] just for you."

lowspark:
Wow. There's a lot going on here.
First thing is, why is her husband coming to girls' night? Do any other husbands come? How is it a girls' night if someone is bringing their husband?
2. No one should be dictating what you cook. You are cooking for these people every week, once a week and they have the nerve to give you a list of restrictions and requirements? No. Just no.

Here's what I would do. I'd quit accommodating them. As soon as I decided my menu each week, I'd send an email to the group letting them know what I was planning to make. I'd make it known that I was cooking what I wanted and that if that menu wasn't to anyone's satisfaction, that person was free to bring their own or to skip this week's meeting.

Honestly, this woman doesn't sound like someone I'd want to invite to dinner on a regular basis. If she's someone with whom I wanted to spend time because

--- Quote ---she is generally a very nice person other than her issues with food
--- End quote ---
then I'd find another way to do it. And that other way would not involve food.

Zizi-K:
Another option would be to make it clear in advance what you plan on cooking/serving, and suggesting that if she doesn't like it or if it doesn't fit with her dietary restrictions, then she's free to bring an alternative or food for herself. This includes dessert! It does not compute in my brain that there would be girls night without dessert. Please don't allow yourself to be held hostage when she is clearly not making the same accommodations for you.  And next time she says "that looks carby!", don't almost cry but take pride in your efforts. "Yes, it has some carbs, I hope you can enjoy it."

Outdoor Girl:
IF, and it is a big IF, you wish to continue to host this woman, I would send the menu out with the invite.  To everybody so she isn't singled out.  And I wouldn't make dishes I couldn't eat, either.

'The menu for girls' night is as follows:  ....  If you are unable to eat any or all of the items, please bring a dish for yourself that you can eat.'

And then tell her, when she complains, that you don't want to hear it anymore.  You are done trying to please her changing tastes.  You will always include good, nutritious food with an eye to at least one low carb dish but that you are no longer going to cater the menu to one person.  She can either eat what is provided or bring something for herself but you don't want to hear about it any more.

And if she is offended and doesn't come for a while?  Win Win, in my books.  A year is more than enough time to get a handle on what she can and cannot eat.

cwm:

--- Quote from: Zizi-K on September 24, 2013, 10:57:44 AM ---Another option would be to make it clear in advance what you plan on cooking/serving, and suggesting that if she doesn't like it or if it doesn't fit with her dietary restrictions, then she's free to bring an alternative or food for herself. This includes dessert! It does not compute in my brain that there would be girls night without dessert. Please don't allow yourself to be held hostage when she is clearly not making the same accommodations for you.  And next time she says "that looks carby!", don't almost cry but take pride in your efforts. "Yes, it has some carbs, I hope you can enjoy it."

--- End quote ---

Also, if she copmlains, you can look at her with a confused face and say, "Did you not get my email? I sent it to everyone, I mentioned what I was cooking and said everyone was welcome to bring their own food if they didn't want to eat mine."

Your other option is to take your friend aside and tell her that it's really confusing to you when you try to make food that falls into what she has told you her dietary restrictions are and she chooses something else (mention the pizza or the chips) and then complains when something else doesn't fit within her dietary restrictions. Mention that she's always free to bring something that she will eat, or she can volunteer to cook for everyone, keeping everyone's dietary restrictions in mind.

Also, who brings their husband to a girls' night? That seems like it would defeat the purpose of girls' night...

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