Author Topic: Give that to the birthday girl!  (Read 7441 times)

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PennyandPleased

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Give that to the birthday girl!
« on: September 24, 2013, 02:29:00 PM »
Over the weekend I attended a birthday party for a family friend. I knew the birthday girl, but was only casual acquaintances with all the other guests. The person who set up the birthday event, Sally, booked a whole nail salon for everyone to get manicures, pedicures, and facials if they want. Everyone paid for their own services. There was no charge to the guests for booking the nail salon and the birthday girl's services were paid for by her Mom, since her Mom could not attend.

Towards the end of the event one of the salon owners went up to Sally and quietly said "since you gave us so much business today we wanted to gift you with a free manicure and pedicure. Use the services any time in the future that you would like" and then walked into the back room.

I was sitting in front of Sally so I overheard all this. After the salon owner gave Sally the gift cards the girl next to Sally said:

Girl: Oh they gave you free gift cards? You should give them to Birthday Girl. It's HER day.
Sally: It's to use in the future since I booked all these appointments.
Girl: You booked them because of Birthday Girl's birthday! They are for her.
Sally: No they are for me. I am going to keep them.
Girl: Well you should at least give Birthday Girl ONE!
Sally: .... silence.

I personally did not think that Sally needed to give Birthday Girl the gift cards. Do others think Sally should have kept the gift cards for herself or because of the situation should she have given them to the girl whose birthday it was?

kckgirl

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2013, 02:30:38 PM »
I'm on Team Sally.
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mrkitty

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2013, 02:32:16 PM »
I think Sally already gave the birthday girl her gift. The gift certificates weren't part of the original gift. I think Sally was fine.
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*inviteseller

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2013, 02:37:08 PM »
I like Sally's shiny spine!  The business was thanking Sally (who may have had to pay something upfront to book the salon).  If they felt the birthday girl had done something for their business they would have given her her own gift card.

lowspark

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2013, 02:39:43 PM »
I'm on Team Sally.

Same here. I also think the girl who was attempting to tell her what to do was way out of line and should have just kept her mouth shut.

Sally could have just said, "thanks for your input" and bean dipped but under the circumstances I think she handled it pretty well.

amylouky

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2013, 02:42:37 PM »
Yeah, I don't know. I think if I were Sally, I'd probably make them some sort of a prize for a game, so everyone had an equal chance at them. I wouldn't necessarily give them to the bday girl, but since everyone paid their own way (including the bday girl, via Mom), Sally didn't really do any more "hosting" than making a phone call.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2013, 02:44:44 PM »
I'm on Team Sally, too.

I would imagine that Sally is a regular customer and the owner wanted to reward her for bringing in the extra business.  It might inspire Sally to do the same thing in the future for another friend.  But if Sally gave the gift cards to the birthday girl, not only doesn't Sally get her reward, it doesn't really help the shop out because it is less likely that the birthday girl would arrange a similar outing in the future, if she wasn't already a regular customer.
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lowspark

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #7 on: September 24, 2013, 02:50:24 PM »
Yeah, I don't know. I think if I were Sally, I'd probably make them some sort of a prize for a game, so everyone had an equal chance at them. I wouldn't necessarily give them to the bday girl, but since everyone paid their own way (including the bday girl, via Mom), Sally didn't really do any more "hosting" than making a phone call.

Just wondering, have you ever planned this kind of thing before? I have. It's way more work than just making a phone call. It involves coordinating with the guest of honor, contacting mutiple people to invite them, getting RSVPs, tallying what each and every person wants done, coordinating with the salon, etc. It's work.

But honestly, even if it were just making a phone call, Sally was the one that did that and the salon presented the gift certificates to her to do with as she sees fit. It's not up to anyone else except Sally to decide what gift she wants to give the birthday girl over and above the gift of organizing a salon outing for her friends.

Cami

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2013, 02:50:35 PM »
That reminds me of many years ago, I was out with friends celebrating a birthday at a local club. When you went in that night, they were handing you little tickets and telling you to hold on to them. A bit later, they announced that the tickets were for a contest and the winning ticket holder would get a free drink. Someone in our group had the winning ticket. Another person announced loudly and forcefully that the winner HAD to give her free drink to the birthday girl (who was already getting free drinks courtesy of the rest of us) because "it's her birthday and everything good that happens today belongs to her. It's HER day. Her SPECIAL day!"

Honestly we all looked at her like she was five years old.


TootsNYC

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2013, 02:53:13 PM »
I like Sally's shiny spine!  The business was thanking Sally (who may have had to pay something upfront to book the salon).  If they felt the birthday girl had done something for their business they would have given her her own gift card.


I agree. Heck, Sally is the one who picked the salon--she has indicated that she's inclined toward this business, and she's the one they want to benefit.She's also the best bet in terms of return-on-investment (ROI).

And the other person was really rude.

Isn't it funny how people think it's okay to be covetous on someone else's behalf.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2013, 02:56:40 PM »
Yeah, I don't know. I think if I were Sally, I'd probably make them some sort of a prize for a game, so everyone had an equal chance at them. I wouldn't necessarily give them to the bday girl, but since everyone paid their own way (including the bday girl, via Mom), Sally didn't really do any more "hosting" than making a phone call.

Just wondering, have you ever planned this kind of thing before? I have. It's way more work than just making a phone call. It involves coordinating with the guest of honor, contacting mutiple people to invite them, getting RSVPs, tallying what each and every person wants done, coordinating with the salon, etc. It's work.

But honestly, even if it were just making a phone call, Sally was the one that did that and the salon presented the gift certificates to her to do with as she sees fit. It's not up to anyone else except Sally to decide what gift she wants to give the birthday girl over and above the gift of organizing a salon outing for her friends.

I agree; I go away with friends every year for "girls weekend" and one activity is going to the local day spa. There are anywhere from 4-6 of us, and my friend does all the coordinating; she asks us what we want, then calls, and figures out based on who wants what services (spa is small so can only do 2 at a time), and let's everyone know what time their service is, and how much. It works out well since its in a cute town, and those not getting done at that time, will walk around, shop, eat, and we all meet up when everyone is done.

If they wanted to give my friend something for doing all that, I'd tell her to enjoy it and wouldn't ever think it needs to go to any of the rest of us, even if it was one of our birthdays.

amylouky

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2013, 03:31:55 PM »
Yeah, I don't know. I think if I were Sally, I'd probably make them some sort of a prize for a game, so everyone had an equal chance at them. I wouldn't necessarily give them to the bday girl, but since everyone paid their own way (including the bday girl, via Mom), Sally didn't really do any more "hosting" than making a phone call.

Just wondering, have you ever planned this kind of thing before? I have. It's way more work than just making a phone call. It involves coordinating with the guest of honor, contacting mutiple people to invite them, getting RSVPs, tallying what each and every person wants done, coordinating with the salon, etc. It's work.

But honestly, even if it were just making a phone call, Sally was the one that did that and the salon presented the gift certificates to her to do with as she sees fit. It's not up to anyone else except Sally to decide what gift she wants to give the birthday girl over and above the gift of organizing a salon outing for her friends.

I agree; I go away with friends every year for "girls weekend" and one activity is going to the local day spa. There are anywhere from 4-6 of us, and my friend does all the coordinating; she asks us what we want, then calls, and figures out based on who wants what services (spa is small so can only do 2 at a time), and let's everyone know what time their service is, and how much. It works out well since its in a cute town, and those not getting done at that time, will walk around, shop, eat, and we all meet up when everyone is done.

If they wanted to give my friend something for doing all that, I'd tell her to enjoy it and wouldn't ever think it needs to go to any of the rest of us, even if it was one of our birthdays.

You're right.. I was thinking along the lines of just calling and saying, "We need X appointments for X o'clock". But I'm sure there probably was more involved in the planning.
I also didn't think it was necessarily rude for Sally to have kept the cards, they were given to her after all. I just think if it were me, I'd have made them a door prize or something, since everyone was contributing money to the event (by paying for their services).

mime

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2013, 04:51:52 PM »
The shop got a bunch of business that day, possibly including some people who may not have ever considered that shop before. It was Sally's decision and planning that made that happen. Sally gets the certificates.

If I were the birthday girl and overheard the conversation, I'd feel awkward at one friend is trying to use my birthday to make another friend feel selfish for keeping a gift given to her.


Lynn2000

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2013, 05:01:45 PM »
I think it was rude of the other person to insist they go to the birthday girl. Although, being contrary as I am sometimes, if I were Sally that would actually strengthen my resolve to keep them for myself. If I were Sally at first I would probably be thinking, "Hmm, I wonder if I should give at least one of these to Birthday Girl, after all, it was the occasion of her birthday that brought us all in here..." But then when someone demanded I give them away, that would tip me over towards keeping them. I guess that's not a very mature motivation on my part. ::) <--at self

But I guess my point is that the "insister" actually cost Birthday Girl a gift (in my head), because I would have been thinking seriously about giving one to BG of my own accord and with no pressure, just because I wanted to. But I don't like being told to give my stuff to other people.
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NyaChan

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2013, 05:05:35 PM »
The fact that the shop gave the cards to Sally rather than the birthday girl tells me that they attributed their increase in business to Sally and thus chose to reward her.  I think Sally had every right to keep the cards, I think the other girl was rude to try to insist that they be given away, and I think Sally handled saying no in a gracious way.