Author Topic: Give that to the birthday girl!  (Read 7404 times)

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mrkitty

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2013, 06:46:26 PM »
The fact that the shop gave the cards to Sally rather than the birthday girl tells me that they attributed their increase in business to Sally and thus chose to reward her.  I think Sally had every right to keep the cards, I think the other girl was rude to try to insist that they be given away, and I think Sally handled saying no in a gracious way.



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hyzenthlay

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2013, 07:40:20 PM »
I also didn't think it was necessarily rude for Sally to have kept the cards, they were given to her after all. I just think if it were me, I'd have made them a door prize or something, since everyone was contributing money to the event (by paying for their services).

POD  I think it was poor judgement on the part of the owner to give Sally the cards in front of one of the people that has, in effect, just paid for Sally to get free services next time.

And I, who would only have gone to get my nails done because of the party, would have wondered if Sally didn't arrange this in order to get those free services  ??? Then I'd had dismissed it and gone on with my life  ;D


LifeOnPluto

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2013, 11:47:54 PM »
i agree that the cards were Sally's to do with as she pleased, and the other friend was rude for demanding that Sally used them in a certain way (ie - gave them to the birthday girl).

In general, I don't think that all freebies / prizes / etc should automatically go to the GoH, in these sorts of situations.

Danika

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #18 on: September 25, 2013, 01:33:52 AM »
I'm also on Team Sally.

I think it was rude of the other person to insist they go to the birthday girl. Although, being contrary as I am sometimes, if I were Sally that would actually strengthen my resolve to keep them for myself. If I were Sally at first I would probably be thinking, "Hmm, I wonder if I should give at least one of these to Birthday Girl, after all, it was the occasion of her birthday that brought us all in here..." But then when someone demanded I give them away, that would tip me over towards keeping them. I guess that's not a very mature motivation on my part. ::) <--at self

But I guess my point is that the "insister" actually cost Birthday Girl a gift (in my head), because I would have been thinking seriously about giving one to BG of my own accord and with no pressure, just because I wanted to. But I don't like being told to give my stuff to other people.

POD. Also, having dealt with people like the Insister before, I've learned that if I say something non-committal like "I'll think about it" then Insister likes to railroad me, and in front of BirthdayGirl will then say "Danika has gift cards to give you." Putting me on the spot and making me look like a jerk if I get angry and say "No I don't." So I would have handled it the way Sally did, refusing to give in to the Insister.

I wonder what the best line would be, in this case. I would have handled it like Sally did, but I'm sure Sally wondered if the OP thought she was selfish. In Sally's shoes, I would ideally reply to Insister with something like the following:

Isn't it funny how people think it's okay to be covetous on someone else's behalf.

Or "my, how generous you are to others with my belongings."

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #19 on: September 25, 2013, 01:41:08 AM »
Go Sally with your shiny spine!
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Miss Unleaded

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #20 on: September 25, 2013, 02:46:21 AM »
I also didn't think it was necessarily rude for Sally to have kept the cards, they were given to her after all. I just think if it were me, I'd have made them a door prize or something, since everyone was contributing money to the event (by paying for their services).

POD  I think it was poor judgement on the part of the owner to give Sally the cards in front of one of the people that has, in effect, just paid for Sally to get free services next time.

And I, who would only have gone to get my nails done because of the party, would have wondered if Sally didn't arrange this in order to get those free services  ??
? Then I'd had dismissed it and gone on with my life  ;D

I tend to agree.

I've never had a professional manicure in my life.  They aren't really my thing.  Had I attended this party and paid for one and then found out that the organiser got a kick back for it, I'd have felt duped, like I'd been lured into a sales party. I would have assumed that Sally had planned it that way and my opinion of her would have taken a little hit if she hadn't then passed it on to the GOH as a gift. Calling her out was way OOT though. 

Teenyweeny

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #21 on: September 25, 2013, 05:59:16 AM »
I also didn't think it was necessarily rude for Sally to have kept the cards, they were given to her after all. I just think if it were me, I'd have made them a door prize or something, since everyone was contributing money to the event (by paying for their services).

POD  I think it was poor judgement on the part of the owner to give Sally the cards in front of one of the people that has, in effect, just paid for Sally to get free services next time.

And I, who would only have gone to get my nails done because of the party, would have wondered if Sally didn't arrange this in order to get those free services  ??
? Then I'd had dismissed it and gone on with my life  ;D

I tend to agree.

I've never had a professional manicure in my life.  They aren't really my thing.  Had I attended this party and paid for one and then found out that the organiser got a kick back for it, I'd have felt duped, like I'd been lured into a sales party. I would have assumed that Sally had planned it that way and my opinion of her would have taken a little hit if she hadn't then passed it on to the GOH as a gift. Calling her out was way OOT though.

That would be an unkind assumption. Why assume that other people are scheming and need to be 'called out' based on the fact that something nice happened to them?

The world is full of enough nastiness without inventing more. If I were Sally, I would have kept the vouchers as well. Organising just about anything is work!



Miss Unleaded

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2013, 07:11:05 AM »


That would be an unkind assumption. Why assume that other people are scheming and need to be 'called out' based on the fact that something nice happened to them?

The world is full of enough nastiness without inventing more. If I were Sally, I would have kept the vouchers as well. Organising just about anything is work!

I specifically said that calling her out was way over the top (ie. not needed at all). 

Miss March

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2013, 07:25:05 AM »
When I've been at sales parties, the Seller has made a big show of pulling out a free gift and saying "Now here's something special for Hostess! We want to thank her for holding this event today. If any of you host a sales event, you, too, will get a free gift!" They make a presentation of it.

But in this case, it sounds like the store owner quietly pulled Sally aside and slipped her some gift cards, and only 2 people noticed the interaction. So I don't think it would have come across as something Sally calculated to happen.
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spookycatlady

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2013, 08:19:17 AM »
People are weird about prizes, awards, or perks.

I worked at a place where a group of employees had a lotto pool.  You had to pay every week and I kept tally of the contributions (I didn't contribute and was the office manager, so I was reliable and trustworthy.)  When they won a sizeable jackpot, one of the regulars was on vacation and hadn't contributed.  She tried to sue all of the others for her supposed share because she had never missed a week before.  Alienated the entire staff and she ended up quitting over it (and got nothing for her trouble).  The manager, who was part of the winner's circle gave me $100 for managing the books.  I was tickled because I wasn't expecting anything.  When I told friends, most people would say, "THAT'S IT?!  They should have given you at least a thousand!"  It was $100 more than I had before and a little presumptious for my friends to be so generous with other people's money.

I once won a 50/50 raffle at work and was going to buy everyone a coffee.  Before I had a chance to take orders, or even tell people I was going to cover the bill, a co-worker announced on the PA system that coffee was on me that day.  I was so put off by the presumption, I bought nothing.  For anyone. 

Would it have been rude for Sally to respond to Presumptor, "You misheard, I was given these cards as a thank you to me for arranging today, not to re-gift."

I would rather be generous of my own accord, rather than being ordered, shamed, or coerced into giving.  It takes away the joy of giving, in my opinion.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #25 on: September 25, 2013, 08:41:44 AM »
When I've been at sales parties, the Seller has made a big show of pulling out a free gift and saying "Now here's something special for Hostess! We want to thank her for holding this event today. If any of you host a sales event, you, too, will get a free gift!" They make a presentation of it.

But in this case, it sounds like the store owner quietly pulled Sally aside and slipped her some gift cards, and only 2 people noticed the interaction. So I don't think it would have come across as something Sally calculated to happen.

I agree; it sounds like Sally didn't have any idea; that this was something the owners decided, maybe spur of the moment to do, since she brought in a number of "clients" I don't see any scheming here at all.

Winterlight

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #26 on: September 25, 2013, 09:02:56 AM »
Team Sally.

And I'd have thought of the cards as being like the hostess present at a sales party too- although in this case Sally didn't know they were coming. The only person at fault here was the nagger.
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LeveeWoman

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #27 on: September 25, 2013, 09:04:18 AM »
How was this any of her business in the first place?

Zilla

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #28 on: September 25, 2013, 09:41:10 AM »
I think the shop owners should have called Sally to a quiet and private area and then offered her the cards.  It's then up to Sally to give them away or not.  It would be a nice thing but in no way expected or rude not to.  Only way I would think it would be a tad odd if the birthday girl was the that picked the salon and let Sally handle the details.  Just maybe a tiny nudge in the direction of sharing the freebies with Sally.  But if I was Sally, I would tell her to keep them for all her work in planning for the party.  So a moot point.

lowspark

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Re: Give that to the birthday girl!
« Reply #29 on: September 25, 2013, 09:47:16 AM »
I think the shop owners should have called Sally to a quiet and private area and then offered her the cards.  It's then up to Sally to give them away or not.  It would be a nice thing but in no way expected or rude not to.  Only way I would think it would be a tad odd if the birthday girl was the that picked the salon and let Sally handle the details.  Just maybe a tiny nudge in the direction of sharing the freebies with Sally.  But if I was Sally, I would tell her to keep them for all her work in planning for the party.  So a moot point.

Yeah, maybe the shop owner should have done it more privately. Maybe the shop was Birthday Girl's choice and not Sally's. Maybe maybe maybe.

Regardless of any of that, the it was absolutely none of this other person's business. The subject of the gift cards was totally between Sally and the shop owner. And no one else need bother themselves about it unless Sally brings them in on the topic.

Honestly, I don't see anyone as rude or even in the wrong in any way excpet the woman who remarked to Sally.