Author Topic: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's - UPDATE  (Read 18021 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13186
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #60 on: September 30, 2013, 07:29:13 PM »
...
Me:  Okay.  I've explained this to you before.  I don't like being scared.  It makes me feel like I'm going to faint.  I like handing out the candy in my fairy costume and I like seeing the little kids all dressed up.  I'll help you with the decorations any way I can, but I just don't get a thrill out of Halloween.  Could you stop being so incredulous that I don't like it as much?  I've always felt this way and you know that.  It's not something new.
DH:  Fine!  I won't ask you to have fun ever again!

And that, Your Honor, is how this man ended up as part of his own Halloween display of horror....

Wearing a fairy costume with a bag of candy jammed down his throat....and half a banana with two raisins stuck in toward the pointy end to look like ghost's eyes in each hand.....

But the OP has no idea where those bananas came from, Your Honor.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2013, 07:32:20 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Eeep!

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 878
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #61 on: September 30, 2013, 07:46:40 PM »
I think if my DH behaved this way, I would be very tempted to get enthusiastic about some aspect he would find obnoxious.  Like kittens.  Really cute, black kittens with witches' hats, strategically placed by every skeleton and bloody body part.   >:D

This? Is awesome!
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

violinp

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3651
  • cabbagegirl28's my sister :)
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's - UPDATE
« Reply #62 on: September 30, 2013, 07:58:49 PM »
Well, this weekend DH mentioned a fancy new thing he wanted to add to the front yard display.  When he asked what I thought, the conversation went like this:

DH:  Blah, blah new Halloween thing.  What do you think.
Me:  Sounds interesting.  Go look into it if you want.
DH:  Don't you care?
Me:  Honey, you know I'm not into this stuff like you.  I've never stopped you from doing the decorating.  If you want the new thing, and we can afford it, go ahead.
DH:  I just don't get how you don't LOVE Halloween.
Me:  Okay.  I've explained this to you before.  I don't like being scared.  It makes me feel like I'm going to faint.  I like handing out the candy in my fairy costume and I like seeing the little kids all dressed up.  I'll help you with the decorations any way I can, but I just don't get a thrill out of Halloween.  Could you stop being so incredulous that I don't like it as much?  I've always felt this way and you know that.  It's not something new.
DH:  Fine!  I won't ask you to have fun ever again!

That's when I exploded.  I launched into a loud discussion of how I found the last comment hurtful and that I don't ask him to take the same enthusiasm I do over things I really love.  I think he finally got the point, but I hate that I have to explode at him to get him to understand.

As someone who loves Halloween, that's an incredibly childish way to react to what you said, BeagleMommy. I never expect everyone to love Halloween as much as I do, or get all excited about it, because most of my family don't enjoy scary movies or think Halloween is primarily for children. Your husband is not being very loving, understanding, or accommodating.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Iris

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3867
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's - UPDATE
« Reply #63 on: September 30, 2013, 08:11:32 PM »

And that, Your Honor, is how this man ended up as part of his own Halloween display of horror....

She was over here, Your Honour, in the UK, at the time, never out of my sight, and there are no bloodstains at all on her clothing. None. No,that's not my shirt she's wearing. I have one a bit like it but it's definitely hers. #slams lid down on wheelie bin#

Not a jury in the world would convict on that evidence...not really - don't kill your husband!

I'm sorry you had to blow up at your DH over this. He really was acting like a donkey so I trust he's got the message now.
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11564
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #64 on: September 30, 2013, 08:25:51 PM »
I love Halloween but also am not a huge fan of being scared.  Well let me rephrase that. I don't like the haunted houses where people in costumes hop out at you with chainsaws and the like.   I like fun costumes, cute kids and candy. 

I would however love to go on the haunted walk my town is having. I like ghost stories, like real ghost stories, tales of hauntings in real places.  But I really do not like the thought of people in costumes of serial killers jumping out at me or things grabbing me.

I do spooky, but not scary, if that makes any sense?
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

cabbagegirl28

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1199
  • violinp's my sister :)
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #65 on: September 30, 2013, 10:33:31 PM »
I love Halloween but also am not a huge fan of being scared.  Well let me rephrase that. I don't like the haunted houses where people in costumes hop out at you with chainsaws and the like.   I like fun costumes, cute kids and candy. 

I would however love to go on the haunted walk my town is having. I like ghost stories, like real ghost stories, tales of hauntings in real places.  But I really do not like the thought of people in costumes of serial killers jumping out at me or things grabbing me.

I do spooky, but not scary, if that makes any sense?

That makes perfect sense! I like the costumes and candy and all the adorable stuff about Halloween. But the local haunted cornmaze which has people with chainsaws, strobe lights, and dubstep? How about no. (Nothing wrong with the latter two except they make the first one a lot worse)


Vita brevis, ars longa

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1696
  • I write whimsical vintage mysteries.
    • My Author Page:
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #66 on: October 03, 2013, 04:41:07 PM »
Evil Ellen would be sorely tempted to make this the standard phrase for everything, from now on.

Next big sale at Joann Fabrics? Run to him, waving the sale flyer.  WOW! AREN"T YOU EXCITED! GLITTER YARN IS 50% OFF!

I just don't get how you don't LOVE glitter yarn.

April 15, 2014 - I just don't get how you don't LOVE tax day.

Dental visit - I just don't get how you don't LOVE root canals.  >:D
......................................................................
                www.ellenseltz.com
......................................................................


AmethystAnne

  • mom, grandmother, and an enthusaistic knitter & crocheter (formerly Laura___)
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3952
  • So much yarn, not nearly enough time! :D
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #67 on: October 03, 2013, 05:07:00 PM »
^
LOL!

zyrs

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2062
  • spiffily male.
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #68 on: October 06, 2013, 10:32:33 AM »
Evil Ellen would be sorely tempted to make this the standard phrase for everything, from now on.

Next big sale at Joann Fabrics? Run to him, waving the sale flyer.  WOW! AREN"T YOU EXCITED! GLITTER YARN IS 50% OFF!

I just don't get how you don't LOVE glitter yarn.

April 15, 2014 - I just don't get how you don't LOVE tax day.

Dental visit - I just don't get how you don't LOVE root canals.  >:D

You don't like GLITTER YARN?  FINE. I'LL NEVER ASK YOU TO HAVE FUN AGAIN!

 ;D

Minmom3

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2463
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #69 on: October 06, 2013, 10:50:33 AM »
But glitter yarn is scratchy.....
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1696
  • I write whimsical vintage mysteries.
    • My Author Page:
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #70 on: October 06, 2013, 03:36:24 PM »
Evil Ellen would be sorely tempted to make this the standard phrase for everything, from now on.

Next big sale at Joann Fabrics? Run to him, waving the sale flyer.  WOW! AREN"T YOU EXCITED! GLITTER YARN IS 50% OFF!

I just don't get how you don't LOVE glitter yarn.

April 15, 2014 - I just don't get how you don't LOVE tax day.

Dental visit - I just don't get how you don't LOVE root canals.  >:D

You don't like GLITTER YARN?  FINE. I'LL NEVER ASK YOU TO HAVE FUN AGAIN!

 ;D

LOL
......................................................................
                www.ellenseltz.com
......................................................................


Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6947
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #71 on: October 07, 2013, 10:56:48 AM »
I love Halloween but also am not a huge fan of being scared.  Well let me rephrase that. I don't like the haunted houses where people in costumes hop out at you with chainsaws and the like.   I like fun costumes, cute kids and candy. 

I would however love to go on the haunted walk my town is having. I like ghost stories, like real ghost stories, tales of hauntings in real places.  But I really do not like the thought of people in costumes of serial killers jumping out at me or things grabbing me.

I do spooky, but not scary, if that makes any sense?

I like spooky but not scary.  I had misgivings about going to 'Creep Show at the Freak Show' in Coney Island but it was truly a lot of fun.  I also enjoy the annual 'Haunted Walk' in Prospect Park.  One thing I love about the latter is that, at the exit, ladies are posted in beautiful fairy godmother costumes.  They're there to touch young children with their wands to remove any spells.  It's a great release image. 

peach2play

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 963
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #72 on: October 07, 2013, 09:39:54 PM »
Perhaps, after everything is calmed down, you guys can sit down and have a conversation about what happened and figure out why he reacted the way he did.  His comment was on the same level as my boyfriend telling me to calm down.  That went over really well.  I understand where your husband is, and I understand your position as well.  Hopefully you guys can work out a compromise.

Elfmama

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6296
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #73 on: October 08, 2013, 12:35:27 AM »
I like going to quilt shows, looking at quilts, reading quilt books, and sometimes I even make one...

VorGuy likes sleeping under quilts on cold days.  Or watching a football game on TV with a quilt tossed over his legs.  He likes to watch sports.  I don't like most sports...ice skating can be fun, sometimes.  I look at the costumes if the choreography doesn't appeal.

I offer to stay home from quilt shows - if he wants to talk about quilts with me.  Or help me sort out something in the fabric stash.

I end up at the quilt show and he watches sports on TV.  We are both happier that way.

Reminds me - I need to finish a couple of projects...
How many is "a couple"?  ;)  If you are a quilter like me, you have Artistic Attention Deficit Disorder.  You get about halfway through a project, and then the newest issue(s) of your favorite quilt magazine(s) come and there on the cover is a project  that's just perfect for that blue leaf fabric that you've had forever, waiting for just this project to appear, so you set the previous project aside, just for a little bit, while you start the Blue Leaf quilt before you forget about it, but it may or may not be finished before the next round of magazines come out...

Or you go to the quilt shop, and there is a bolt of fabric in your favorite color, just crying to go home with you, and you can't disappoint it by putting it in the stash with all the other fabrics, so you haul out the books until you find the perfect project...

Sound familiar?   Hey, OP, take up quilting!  Let DH have Halloween.  They make a lot of cute Halloween fabric now, so you could make him a quilt!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

VorFemme

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13186
  • Strolls with scissors! Too tired to run today!
Re: When Your Level of Enthusiasm Doesn't Match Your Spouse's
« Reply #74 on: October 08, 2013, 09:07:28 AM »
I like going to quilt shows, looking at quilts, reading quilt books, and sometimes I even make one...

VorGuy likes sleeping under quilts on cold days.  Or watching a football game on TV with a quilt tossed over his legs.  He likes to watch sports.  I don't like most sports...ice skating can be fun, sometimes.  I look at the costumes if the choreography doesn't appeal.

I offer to stay home from quilt shows - if he wants to talk about quilts with me.  Or help me sort out something in the fabric stash.

I end up at the quilt show and he watches sports on TV.  We are both happier that way.

Reminds me - I need to finish a couple of projects...
How many is "a couple"?  ;)  If you are a quilter like me, you have Artistic Attention Deficit Disorder.  You get about halfway through a project, and then the newest issue(s) of your favorite quilt magazine(s) come and there on the cover is a project  that's just perfect for that blue leaf fabric that you've had forever, waiting for just this project to appear, so you set the previous project aside, just for a little bit, while you start the Blue Leaf quilt before you forget about it, but it may or may not be finished before the next round of magazines come out...

Or you go to the quilt shop, and there is a bolt of fabric in your favorite color, just crying to go home with you, and you can't disappoint it by putting it in the stash with all the other fabrics, so you haul out the books until you find the perfect project...

Sound familiar?   Hey, OP, take up quilting!  Let DH have Halloween.  They make a lot of cute Halloween fabric now, so you could make him a quilt!



You forgot the new pattern catalog for clothes (Renn Faire & Halloween costumes are clothes, too), a new counted cross stitch kit or magazine, the machine embroidery magazine (coincidentally, one arrived yesterday), the class schedule for the Quilt Festival in Houston the end of this month, and the polo shirts that VorGuy needs embroidered just as fast as possible to pass out to his students...while I sort out a place to stand after dumping 1/4 or so of the total contents of my storage closet in there to let me use a fan to dry the carpet & padding...and find at least six to twelve hidden UFOs, then start two more due to the Renn Faire NEXT weekend, when VorGuy tells me that I'll be spending this weekend driving students back & forth to a marching competition with him since the other teachers who were going have dropped out (real estate closing out of state & medical leave for recovery after emergency surgery).

I wasn't too busy juggling until after he tossed me several more balls, two bowling pins, a hatchet, and a plate!

And I've been to the fabric store twice in the last few days to get "just a little fabric" to redo a costume....I don't look good in brassy gold, so I'm replacing that fabric in the costume with a pewter/dark silver satin....and I needed to get the satin, some silver ribbon for trim, some silver net off eBay for a snood (no silver net at the fabric store), etc., etc. etc. - as the King sings in the musical Anna & the King (of Siam - I loved the Yul Brynner version on the after school reruns growing up).

There's an idea.  The OP can start obsessively watching musicals and singing along with them, then insisting that her husband should like them just as much and sing along with her - there are so many duets in romantic musicals, after all!  If he doesn't LIKE Rogers & Hammerstein, she can offer to get out a Gilbert & Sullivan...or something newer!  But if he doesn't sing along...well, that's the fun part!
« Last Edit: October 17, 2013, 10:23:21 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?