Author Topic: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?  (Read 8409 times)

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veronaz

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #30 on: September 25, 2013, 11:13:06 AM »
If the hosts come at me with too many house rules I insist we both will be better off if I stay in a hotel. One or two rules like no food or drinks in the living room probably wouldn't be a problem, but if it starts to stray into: no food in the living room, TV off at 9:00 pm, everyone must be up by 8:00 am, no more than 15 minutes in the bathroom in the morning... I completely understand "their house, their rules" and I respect that, but all the rules would make me anxious the whole time I was there.

Also, too many people (of any age). I just need alone time to de-stress, especially when traveling, so if there are people everywhere, I can't cope for more than about 12 hours. I enjoyed college immensely and had great roommates that I'm still friends with, but my year in the dorms was rough for me. I spent a lot of time finding isolated corners of the campus.

What’s really annoying is when they don’t tell you their “house rules” until after you’ve arrived and settled.  Then they bring out the rules a few at a time kind of as “oh, by the way”.  Sneaky.  This can be a problem is you flew in to another state, have no car, and can’t really spend money on a hotel.  So you are stranded and go along with it.  But you resolve to never, ever, stay at their house again.  >:(

Concerning too many people, my sister neglected to mention that a family of four (who I didn’t know and had never heard of) was also going to be spending a week.  The parents didn’t work so they just sat around, watched TV and ate as if they hadn’t seen food in months, and the kids were loud and unruly.  I could not wait to get out of there.  >:(

Cami

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #31 on: September 25, 2013, 11:24:10 AM »
Cami, if you were a member of my lottery pool, I think I'd kick you out!  The only luck you have is bad.   :)
But I do end up with great stories!

MrTango

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #32 on: September 25, 2013, 11:32:09 AM »
If I'm traveling with LadyTango, we will stay in the same bedroom (which we will have to ourselves).  If I'm traveling without LadyTango, I will have my own bedroom which is not shared with anyone else.

I won't sleep any place that has cats in the home (due to allergies).

Outdoor Girl

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #33 on: September 25, 2013, 11:34:36 AM »
Cami, if you were a member of my lottery pool, I think I'd kick you out!  The only luck you have is bad.   :)
But I do end up with great stories!

LOL,  Yes, yes you do.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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Midge

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #34 on: September 25, 2013, 11:40:50 AM »
I am pretty picky, I admit. I would really just rather stay in a hotel--I get my own space that is clean, quiet, and secure without having to share with others. I know people try to be hospitable, but sometimes we just have different lifestyles and expectations, and I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I stay in other people's homes, trying to not get in the way, not take too long in the bathroom, not leave my stuff lying around, going along with what they want to do, that kind of thing. After I've stayed a couple days at someone's house I usually just say to myself, "Never again" (for that person, but also strengthening my resolve to avoid it with everyone).

It's kind of like WillyNilly, it's not like people are really doing anything wrong, it's just that I can't be comfortable in their homes for that long.

This (and WillyNilly's post) is me, too. The only home other than our own that I'm remotely comfortable staying over night at is our best friend's house, and even then a weekend is enough. A few years ago, I was going to my high school reunion in my home town (about 2 hours away from where I live now), and a good friend from that time whom I had reconnected with and like just fine offered to let me stay at her house. I just couldn't do it; I got a room in a hotel. Nothing against her.

Shoo

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #35 on: September 25, 2013, 11:50:29 AM »
There are very few people whose homes I feel comfortable staying in, for my own personal hang-ups and reasons, but I'd have to say that even if everything else were absolutely perfect, I could never stay in the home of someone who smokes inside it.  Just no way.

Also, if I witnessed them allowing their cats to roam their kitchen countertops, I'd 1) throw up and then 2) excuse myself to a hotel.


cwm

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #36 on: September 25, 2013, 01:58:26 PM »
My big things that will end something:

Pet waste anywhere it shouldn't be. I don't care if it's the hallway, the master bedroom that I won't be going into, a back corner of the living room. If it's not outside or in a litter pan, it's a no go.

Smoking. I'll tolerate it when I'm visiting for an evening with some people, but not overnight. It bothers my throat so badly I wake up sounding like I've screamed nonstop for the past week.

Access to a bathroom. If you've got a three story house and a family of 6 and one working bathroom, I'll have to really consider if it's worth it to me to stay there. I'm not saying I need my own, I just don't have to navigate two staircases and fight for time with 6 other people.

Pets being ill-behaved. I don't mind sharing a bed with a pet, so long as the bed is big enough. I don't mind pets coming to say hi to me. But I don't like cats that sleep on people's heads, or nibble their fingers in the morning to be let out, or any animal that's going to jump up on me and not listen when I say no or down. Enthusiasm is one thing, my dog is the craziest thing I've met, but at least she listens.

Unruly children. A friend of mine has her nephew living with their family. He throws things, screams all the time, grinds food into the carpet, and they don't punish him because "He's special, you know. He's been diagnosed. He has issues." This may be the case, but he can still be disciplined and trained to behave himself.

General uncleanliness. If there's flies and gnats all over your kitchen and dishes piled up all over the sink and counters and leftovers sitting out from the day before, I'm gone. And I won't be coming back for any meals any time soon either.

Honestly, though, most of the time I'm staying as a houseguest, I've had great experiences.

jaxsue

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #37 on: September 25, 2013, 02:41:03 PM »
When I was growing up our family always stayed at someone's home when we traveled. A lot of the reason was money (up to 8 of us, very limited budget). Probably because of that, I now stay at hotels 95% of the time. There are very few people whose homes I will stay in.
Based on previous experience, there are deal-breakers for me:

Dirty bathroom. Several years ago, I was going to visit in my brother's/SIL's home. I got there and she said that she was paying the ultimate compliment to me as a guest: she hadn't cleaned the bathroom:o Problem is, it smelled like urine. It was gross. I got out some cleaning supplies and did it myself.
Like some other PP's, I won't stay in a smoker's home. Okay, 1 or 2 exceptions, because they smoke very little and always did it outside. Other than that, no.
Fighting: I am not comfortable if a bru-ha-ha breaks out. BTDT.

Hotel rooms are great because it's your space, your bathroom, your TV. It's so worth the money!

mharbourgirl

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #38 on: September 25, 2013, 02:45:08 PM »
 :o

Jaxsue, was your SIL dropped on her head as a child or something?  How is a filthy bathroom in any way a *compliment*???  From my point of view, if a close relative doesn't think I'm worth cleaning the bathroom for, I'm not going to care very much to visit them - ever.

jaxsue

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #39 on: September 25, 2013, 02:56:11 PM »
:o

Jaxsue, was your SIL dropped on her head as a child or something?  How is a filthy bathroom in any way a *compliment*???  From my point of view, if a close relative doesn't think I'm worth cleaning the bathroom for, I'm not going to care very much to visit them - ever.

Because she "didn't have to impress me!"  ??? I haven't been a guest there since. We get along fine, but I just won't put myself in that situation again.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #40 on: September 25, 2013, 02:59:54 PM »
I am an absolutely horrible housekeeper.  But if I'm having anyone over, at minimum, I clean the dang toilets!  I'll usually clean counters and at least sweep; dusting may not happen and scrubbing the kitchen floor may not happen but the bathroom is clean and so are the sheets.

Although, I must admit, the sheets weren't clean for my nephew this past weekend.  He ended up dropping in to crash pretty last minute and I didn't have time to wash the sheets nor do I have another set for that particular bed.  But he was fine sleeping in sheets my Dad had slept in for one night.  I'll get them washed the next time I do laundry.  But I did scrub the toilets!
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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LazyDaisy

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #41 on: September 25, 2013, 03:02:55 PM »
:o

Jaxsue, was your SIL dropped on her head as a child or something?  How is a filthy bathroom in any way a *compliment*???  From my point of view, if a close relative doesn't think I'm worth cleaning the bathroom for, I'm not going to care very much to visit them - ever.

Because she "didn't have to impress me!"  ??? I haven't been a guest there since. We get along fine, but I just won't put myself in that situation again.
What did she say or do when you cleaned it?
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." — Douglas Adams

CrochetFanatic

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #42 on: September 25, 2013, 03:10:11 PM »
I don't stay over at my uncle's anymore.  Same uncle I've posted about before, but not for those reasons!  This is something that happened before.

I was spending the night once, and I didn't realize until I had gotten into bed that their cat had loosed a full bladder right in the middle of the bed out of spite because a stranger was in the house.  I slept on a couch in the study, and went home in the morning to take a long shower.  The next time I stayed there, I found that they hadn't even thought to clean the pee spot on the mattress until that very day, and it was still wet when I laid down.  Not only that, but they didn't actually clean it.  They just sprayed it with a pet odor enzyme spray, and called it good.  The bed smelled like stale cat pee, mildew, and that spray.  I mentioned it in passing the next day, and I got an offended, "Well, we cleaned the mattress..." 

Um, no you didn't.  That, along with the fact that it isn't unusual to find cat and dog feces on the floor, pretty much turned me off to staying over there before things blew up.

jaxsue

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #43 on: September 25, 2013, 03:22:12 PM »
:o

Jaxsue, was your SIL dropped on her head as a child or something?  How is a filthy bathroom in any way a *compliment*???  From my point of view, if a close relative doesn't think I'm worth cleaning the bathroom for, I'm not going to care very much to visit them - ever.

Because she "didn't have to impress me!"  ??? I haven't been a guest there since. We get along fine, but I just won't put myself in that situation again.
What did she say or do when you cleaned it?

She didn't know I cleaned it. I did it very quietly.  :)

peachykeen

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Re: What are your deal breakers as a house guest?
« Reply #44 on: September 25, 2013, 05:40:43 PM »
This thread is very appropriate. I just returned from a three week roadtrip where I spent some nights with relatives and some in motels. Here's a breakdown of the private homes.

Son and Daughter-in-Law; I love them but they have very relaxed ideas about housekeeping. The kitchen, living area and bathroom were in ok shape (much better than my last visit). The room I was to sleep in had boxes stacked to the ceiling of sewing and craft supplies. The closet was inaccessible due to clutter. The mattress was on the floor and did not have clean sheets. I believe her sister had stayed there recently. This was a step up from last year when I slept on a leaky air mattress and they had no pillows for the bed. The weather was warm and the room was stuffy but there was no screen on the window. Also there was a strong smell of cat pee although the cats weren't allowed in the room. Sigh, but I love them and my grandson so I stayed.

My sister; I will never stay there again. The last time was 8 years ago and the filth and clutter has gotten worse. I said she was a hoarder, she said she was just lazy. Either way it was disgusting. I could tell she had made an effort to fix up and clean the room I stayed in but the curtains were rotten at the windows, there were strings of cobwebs hanging over the bed plus the odor of cats even though her cat died 4 months ago. She wanted us to cook some meals and treats together but her kitchen was so cluttered and filthy I refused to cook or eat anything cooked there. (think black mold on the wall, dishes piled high on the counter, crumbs, grease, mice, flour moths, mildew etc) She called me a rude name and we ate out a lot. The house also reeks of dog and just dirtiness.

My daughter; Ah the bright spot on the trip. My daughter and her husband have a lovely, clean spacious house with a designated guest room. They have a dog but they still keep the floors swept and the house clean smelling. The guest room is lovely with lots of pillows, a bed lamp, books, closet space etc. The only tiny problem is the bed is so high that this old lady with bad knees has trouble getting in and out of it.
I'm glad to be home and staying in my own space until the next trip.