An incident occurred a few days ago and although I'm not directly involved I would be curious to hear the opinions of the Ehellions. Sorry about the length but it's a bit convoluted.
bg - there is a popular chain of restaurants that we have regularly used for family dinners. The service has been going down hill there for some time until the last time we went there the service was SO bad and our food was so inedible that DH sent most of it back and refused to pay for a lot of it. We vowed to never go to that restaurant again. /bg
A few days ago my SIL messaged us to invite us to our niece's family birthday dinner. To be held at AwfulChain. DH and I privately discussed our surprise that they would choose that venue (they were at the Lunch From Heck) but figured maybe DN chose it and we replied that sure, we'd come. After all, it's a special occasion. However SIL got back to us and said the earliest reservation that they could get was quite late which meant we couldn't make it as DH has to get to work. DH replied that that was a shame and were there any other options as we'd hate to miss seeing DN for her birthday. So in the end we're going to a different restaurant at an earlier time.
Separately to this MIL and FIL had arranged to come to our house for a visit. Now, MIL and FIL have a history of not liking to travel so since we were going to be seeing them at Niece's birthday and again for DD's birthday both this weekend, when DH invited them to DD's birthday he asked if they still planned to visit given that we would see them twice anyway. MIL mentioned that they weren't going to DN's (their granddaughter's) birthday because they refused to eat at AwfulChain. DH, without thinking, said "But that was changed days ago". When he got off the phone he said "Oops, I don't think I should have said that", but too late. Next thing we heard MIL phoned BIL and announced that now that dinner was at a different restaurant they'd come.
Now, I'm used to DH's family putting the fun in dysfunctional, but all of this made my brain hurt. SIL for inviting us to a restaurant she knows we don't like, MIL for refusing to attend her granddaughter's birthday because of a restaurant, DH requesting a change of venue, and then telling his mother about it, and finally MIL announcing that she would come now, although I would have thought not being notified of the change of venue was a bit of a big hint that maybe they didn't want her there. So I thought I'd come and get your perspectives, folks.
I don't need advice because my long standing policy is Stay The Heck Out Of It combined with Wine Makes The Brain Ouchies Stop
but I would appreciate being told whether I am right and they are all rude (or just mad) or alternatively gaining some perspective. Especially since I still have to survive the dinner.
And a big virtual cookie to anyone who made it this far.