Ok, so I'm a bit torn over something. I'm pretty sure I did the right thing in regard of the specific of the situation, but it could have been different so I'd like to have your opinion on the general question e-hell
. (Not so my own background, it was really to illustrate the situation).
I recently meet with a friend and her fiance for a movie.
We're not like BFF-aways together-share everything-super close friends, but we know we can count on each-other. It's like we could not speak or see each-other for months at a time but we'll be happy to pick up where we left and be here in case there's a problem.
We're both pretty clumsy and share ours 'fails' when we have them, like ending up with a torn ligament while walking on a flat surface or needing stitches because of ice-cream. This time she had a bandage on her wrist, but only around it (not on the hand) and she didn't say anything so I didn't either.
I guess most people will/would have jumped to one of the possible conclusion aka self harm
, I'm not a busybody but would have liked her to know that well, I'm here to talk if she needs and everything.
This time I only mentioned in an email that if she still needed to see me about something else I'd be happy to have a chat over tea or something.
I won't press it further since I know she has her fiance and family close by and hopefully closer friends and all, and for all I know no history of this kind of behaviour.
It might not be anything at all, it's just that usually I would have seen her and gotten a "look what a tomato did to me!".
But if it wasn't the case, how do you decide when it's past politeness and into safety trumping mode?
Does the relationship
level change things - I guess so, but then where do you draw the has a right/doesn't has a right to speak line?-
Like close family, yes, stranger on the buss, mind his own business, but a coworker or casual friend?
Any way to broach the subject or does etiquette ask for you not to say a word until it escalates?
Would a blunt "I'm here if you need me" without any mention to the percieved problem be ok? then if you have a "what do you mean" back you can add anything unrelated "oh you know, I still have my handbook on underwater basket weaving if you need it" and leave it at that..